RD's life diary: I'm back (sort of)
- Thread starter Russiandoll
- Start date
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
It's been quite a positive day despite the awful let down by the hospital at the start.
After hearing I didn't need to go and pick my parents up, I decided to do something a bit positive so I rang the CAB to find out about debt counselling: things have just spiralled out of control and I can't hide from it anymore. We don't have enough to even meet our essential living expenses let alone credit cards and such. I've taken to not opening letters and ignoring phone calls from creditors: I just can't face it on top of everything else. Anyway, I know I have to get things sorted so I've taken the first step.
Then I compiled my CV and applied for a job. It was advertised in the paper (Inventory clerk) - I know very little about it ... no idea what the hours or wages are; they just wanted CVs to start off with. Anyway, made me feel I was at least doing something pro-active.
I walked over to the shops with the kids in the early afternoon and did as much shopping as six healthy arms would carry (economising on petrol and all that ...). Then I threw some orange squash, some bananas and cereal bars into a bag and took the kids down to the beach where we spent five sunny (but windswept!) hours.
Now we've popped home so they can shower, change and have a bit of dinner before we go out again to see the fireworks display marking the end of Cowes week (yachting event on the Isle of Wight). We get a great viewpoint from Gosport, being just across the Solent.
Poor hubby has been trying to get home but because of a serious accident on the M25, he's spent five hours sitting static in his van. He was still nearly 90 miles away last time he texted me.
So, all in all not a bad day considering events at the start of it.
After hearing I didn't need to go and pick my parents up, I decided to do something a bit positive so I rang the CAB to find out about debt counselling: things have just spiralled out of control and I can't hide from it anymore. We don't have enough to even meet our essential living expenses let alone credit cards and such. I've taken to not opening letters and ignoring phone calls from creditors: I just can't face it on top of everything else. Anyway, I know I have to get things sorted so I've taken the first step.
Then I compiled my CV and applied for a job. It was advertised in the paper (Inventory clerk) - I know very little about it ... no idea what the hours or wages are; they just wanted CVs to start off with. Anyway, made me feel I was at least doing something pro-active.
I walked over to the shops with the kids in the early afternoon and did as much shopping as six healthy arms would carry (economising on petrol and all that ...). Then I threw some orange squash, some bananas and cereal bars into a bag and took the kids down to the beach where we spent five sunny (but windswept!) hours.
Now we've popped home so they can shower, change and have a bit of dinner before we go out again to see the fireworks display marking the end of Cowes week (yachting event on the Isle of Wight). We get a great viewpoint from Gosport, being just across the Solent.
Poor hubby has been trying to get home but because of a serious accident on the M25, he's spent five hours sitting static in his van. He was still nearly 90 miles away last time he texted me.
So, all in all not a bad day considering events at the start of it.
canireallydothis!!
Gold Member
What rubbish news for you this morning, rubbish is a pathetic word that doesnt really say much but you know what I mean.
Hope the firework display is good, I love fireworks, we had a big display at our wedding and I love them so much, DD is scared of them so we dont get to see them much now.
Karen did make loads of sense, dont punish yourself, or at least, try not to.
Good luck with the debt counselling, they can do wonders now a days x
Hope the firework display is good, I love fireworks, we had a big display at our wedding and I love them so much, DD is scared of them so we dont get to see them much now.
Karen did make loads of sense, dont punish yourself, or at least, try not to.
Good luck with the debt counselling, they can do wonders now a days x
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
It's been a couple of days since I posted - with hubby home for just two days before returning to work for the week, our time together is precious so I tend not to spend too much of it in front of the computer!
We always try to get some relaxing family time in even though it's at the expense of things around the house that NEED to be done. That's one of the major downsides of DH working away all week - we don't want to spend his time at home doing mundane stuff, so NOTHING gets done. Come to think of itm there are absolutely no 'upsides' to him working away!
We spent a good few hours at the beach on Saturday. It's a mega cheap day out - we don't even pay for parking at Hill Head (our favourite swimming beach - flat and shallow with lots of kite and wind surfers to watch). DD3, DD4 and her little friend spent hours swimming and messing about. As usual, I had a task on my hands getting DD4 to call it a day when it was time to go home - I swear she's part mermaid!!
My diet is totally a non-diet at the moment. I'm in a spin over the rate at which I'm gaining and feel very depressed and alone. I'm one of those people who really needs the monitoring and motivational aspect of a face-to-face group setting but I have two problems ... 1) I can't afford ANY kind of group or club right now and 2) I don't like WW or SW anyway. At a push I guess I'd go for SW although I wouldn't be able to do the green days because of my insulin resistance. So I'd be on perpetual red days. Still, it would be an option if I had the money.
At the moment I'm swinging madly between feast & famine. I try SSing with the few remaining CD packs I have but then, realising I can't afford to replace them once they've gone, I try adapting the diet to make them last longer and then it all goes to rats again. I need to get some consistancy in my dieting, that's for sure. With all the emotional stuff that's going on right now, I know I'm self-medicating on food - I also know it's not helping at all. All the time I'm eating what I know I shouldn't and thrashing myself AS I'M DOING IT (as well as afterwards) I'm distracted, albeit very briefly, from my very hefty emotional worries.
I WANT the fast results of CD but feel hopeless because I know I can't afford it anymore. Plus I kept breaking it when I tried restarting on SS anyway. I'm now at the stage where I don't want to bump into anyone I know and I don't even want to go back to Uni.
If I do't get a grip on this AND SOON, then I'll be back up to 22st before I know it. Just before Christmas when I was 12st 7lb, I swore I'd never let myself get back to morbid obesity again ... seven months later, here I am. I think that's part of the problem, I'm angry and disappointed at myself as well as thoroughly ashamed.
I can't bear to think of where I've put myself again - the 'big picture' is awful. So, at least for now, I need to break things down into tiny chunks.
So, my goal is ... for TODAY, I'm NOT going to eat anything that will make matters worse.
That's no chocolate, cake, pastry, crisps, bread, refined carbs or anything fatty. Just for today.
Tomorrow I'll make another pact with myself.
We always try to get some relaxing family time in even though it's at the expense of things around the house that NEED to be done. That's one of the major downsides of DH working away all week - we don't want to spend his time at home doing mundane stuff, so NOTHING gets done. Come to think of itm there are absolutely no 'upsides' to him working away!
We spent a good few hours at the beach on Saturday. It's a mega cheap day out - we don't even pay for parking at Hill Head (our favourite swimming beach - flat and shallow with lots of kite and wind surfers to watch). DD3, DD4 and her little friend spent hours swimming and messing about. As usual, I had a task on my hands getting DD4 to call it a day when it was time to go home - I swear she's part mermaid!!
My diet is totally a non-diet at the moment. I'm in a spin over the rate at which I'm gaining and feel very depressed and alone. I'm one of those people who really needs the monitoring and motivational aspect of a face-to-face group setting but I have two problems ... 1) I can't afford ANY kind of group or club right now and 2) I don't like WW or SW anyway. At a push I guess I'd go for SW although I wouldn't be able to do the green days because of my insulin resistance. So I'd be on perpetual red days. Still, it would be an option if I had the money.
At the moment I'm swinging madly between feast & famine. I try SSing with the few remaining CD packs I have but then, realising I can't afford to replace them once they've gone, I try adapting the diet to make them last longer and then it all goes to rats again. I need to get some consistancy in my dieting, that's for sure. With all the emotional stuff that's going on right now, I know I'm self-medicating on food - I also know it's not helping at all. All the time I'm eating what I know I shouldn't and thrashing myself AS I'M DOING IT (as well as afterwards) I'm distracted, albeit very briefly, from my very hefty emotional worries.
I WANT the fast results of CD but feel hopeless because I know I can't afford it anymore. Plus I kept breaking it when I tried restarting on SS anyway. I'm now at the stage where I don't want to bump into anyone I know and I don't even want to go back to Uni.
If I do't get a grip on this AND SOON, then I'll be back up to 22st before I know it. Just before Christmas when I was 12st 7lb, I swore I'd never let myself get back to morbid obesity again ... seven months later, here I am. I think that's part of the problem, I'm angry and disappointed at myself as well as thoroughly ashamed.
I can't bear to think of where I've put myself again - the 'big picture' is awful. So, at least for now, I need to break things down into tiny chunks.
So, my goal is ... for TODAY, I'm NOT going to eat anything that will make matters worse.
That's no chocolate, cake, pastry, crisps, bread, refined carbs or anything fatty. Just for today.
Tomorrow I'll make another pact with myself.
pandora
finding my way again !
that sounds like a good thing to do, the day-by-day pact with yourself, in fact i think that's what i should do.
i compleatly understand about spending quality time with your hubby at the weekend, as you don't see him that often it makes sense for you & DD4 to want to do everything with him.
i can so empathise with you on alot of levels, just wish i was as good as you at expressing my feelings & asking for help.
all the best, Debbie
xx
i compleatly understand about spending quality time with your hubby at the weekend, as you don't see him that often it makes sense for you & DD4 to want to do everything with him.
i can so empathise with you on alot of levels, just wish i was as good as you at expressing my feelings & asking for help.
all the best, Debbie
xx
Hi Debbie
I was trying to think of what diet would suit you. I lost loads once doing the red days only on SW (they used to only have red days), but I think it's more expensive than the green days.
I thought about the unit diet which I think is fab diet. May be a little carby for you?
Well...you could make that work in your favour. Have you ever thought about doing the Juddd diet? As an ex-sser, you would find the down days a cinch (well...almost). Financially, there would be no extra costs.
Still no weekly meet though Picking a day of the week for an official weigh in and reporting on a separately thread here may help?
I was trying to think of what diet would suit you. I lost loads once doing the red days only on SW (they used to only have red days), but I think it's more expensive than the green days.
I thought about the unit diet which I think is fab diet. May be a little carby for you?
Well...you could make that work in your favour. Have you ever thought about doing the Juddd diet? As an ex-sser, you would find the down days a cinch (well...almost). Financially, there would be no extra costs.
Still no weekly meet though
Picking a day of the week for an official weigh in and reporting on a separately thread here may help?
Barb
Gold Member
OH Dear Debbie, you sound like I feel! Firstly stop beating yourself up. It does no good, it makes you feel worse which just perpetuates the myth that you are 'bad'. You are not. You are a good person going through a bad time, thats it. No mystery about it, look at your life as it is at present and ask your self how others would be behaving. I'll tell you, they would be facing all the same demons thta you are. In May I was so full of myself and the Juddd plan, I thought i could do it forever..... then life took over and I have slipped so far away from it that I feel there is no going back. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I think you should try damage limitation for now and be pleased if you manage to stick to it. By that I mean eat as healthily as possible, have an evening treat but limit it to one and congratulate yourself if you finish a 'good' day. I don't think it is realistic for you to follow a definative 'diet' right now, there is too much going on in your life. Does'nt mean you can't eat healthily and sensibly though.
Thinking of you and forbidding you to be nasty to my friend Debbie,
Much love
I think you should try damage limitation for now and be pleased if you manage to stick to it. By that I mean eat as healthily as possible, have an evening treat but limit it to one and congratulate yourself if you finish a 'good' day. I don't think it is realistic for you to follow a definative 'diet' right now, there is too much going on in your life. Does'nt mean you can't eat healthily and sensibly though.
Thinking of you and forbidding you to be nasty to my friend Debbie,
Much love
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Thanks for the words of support girls.
Cheryl - You're a real inspiration to me in the way that you don't give up; your gritty determination helps me to keep my eye on what can be achieved with the right approach. I know we can all slip from time to time and sometimes we need to 'tweak' our dieting plans - you keep your finger on the pulse, so to speak (no pun intended) and I think that's the secret of your success ... you're not too rigid and are prepared to flex according to your circumstances. You rock!
Karon - Thanks for the tips. I must admit that when I was on RC, I ate very much in a 'red day' mode ... lean protein, lots of veg and it did seem to work. Maybe it's time to look in that direction again. Green days are definitely out because of my insulin resistance ... carbs (esp refined ones) slows any losses to a crawl and maintains my spare tyre beautifully!
Tuna and cottage cheese are cheap enough and if I buy chicken breasts specifically for me, it shouldn't bump up the shopping bill too much. The rest of the family are fine with pasta, baked spuds and such. Food for thought perhaps.
Barb - As always, my champion and dear friend. I'm beginning to think we're actually twins who were separated at birth! I like the 'treat' idea as far as my eating habits are concerned.
I think what I might do, is buy 7 'Freddo frogs' ... very small and only 10p each, then stick them in the freezer. If I can sit in the evening KNOWING I have a PLANNED treat lined up to massage my battered emotional state then maybe - just maybe - I won't eat indiscriminately until I feel physically sick!
At the moment, I have very little in the way of treats or nice things going on ... everything seems such a drudge. All the goings on with my dad's illness, with still coping with the thought of never seeing my dear nephew again and the issue of the devastating news I found out at my ex MIL's funeral hangs around my neck like a giant albatross. Add to that our dire finances and the fact hubby is away all week and even I can see how easy it would be for ANYONE to succumb to the stress of it all.
Perhaps trying to inflict an extremely harsh dieting regime on myself right now would be just one stress too far?? It seems that the harder I task myself, the greater the backlash.
Hey - could this be a bit of a light-bulb moment?
Cheryl - You're a real inspiration to me in the way that you don't give up; your gritty determination helps me to keep my eye on what can be achieved with the right approach. I know we can all slip from time to time and sometimes we need to 'tweak' our dieting plans - you keep your finger on the pulse, so to speak (no pun intended
) and I think that's the secret of your success ... you're not too rigid and are prepared to flex according to your circumstances. You rock!Karon - Thanks for the tips. I must admit that when I was on RC, I ate very much in a 'red day' mode ... lean protein, lots of veg and it did seem to work. Maybe it's time to look in that direction again. Green days are definitely out because of my insulin resistance ... carbs (esp refined ones) slows any losses to a crawl and maintains my spare tyre beautifully!
Tuna and cottage cheese are cheap enough and if I buy chicken breasts specifically for me, it shouldn't bump up the shopping bill too much. The rest of the family are fine with pasta, baked spuds and such. Food for thought perhaps.
Barb - As always, my champion and dear friend. I'm beginning to think we're actually twins who were separated at birth! I like the 'treat' idea as far as my eating habits are concerned.
I think what I might do, is buy 7 'Freddo frogs' ... very small and only 10p each, then stick them in the freezer. If I can sit in the evening KNOWING I have a PLANNED treat lined up to massage my battered emotional state then maybe - just maybe - I won't eat indiscriminately until I feel physically sick!
At the moment, I have very little in the way of treats or nice things going on ... everything seems such a drudge. All the goings on with my dad's illness, with still coping with the thought of never seeing my dear nephew again and the issue of the devastating news I found out at my ex MIL's funeral hangs around my neck like a giant albatross. Add to that our dire finances and the fact hubby is away all week and even I can see how easy it would be for ANYONE to succumb to the stress of it all.
Perhaps trying to inflict an extremely harsh dieting regime on myself right now would be just one stress too far?? It seems that the harder I task myself, the greater the backlash.
Hey - could this be a bit of a light-bulb moment?
pandora
finding my way again !
at the moment, i think your priority is to look after your self.
with all the other issues you have going & to deal with, if your not 100% you won't deal with them well.
go with the eating healthy plan & as Barb says, a little treat in the evening.
You say SW & WW are out of the equasion but have you thought of the Rosematy Connely principles ? you don't need to go to class, just stick to foods less than 4% fat. I know you've given this a go previously so know about it. Maybe ask someone else to weigh you on a set date, something i am thinking of as i can't afford classes.
just some ideas.
i'm with you all the way hun
xx
with all the other issues you have going & to deal with, if your not 100% you won't deal with them well.
go with the eating healthy plan & as Barb says, a little treat in the evening.
You say SW & WW are out of the equasion but have you thought of the Rosematy Connely principles ? you don't need to go to class, just stick to foods less than 4% fat. I know you've given this a go previously so know about it. Maybe ask someone else to weigh you on a set date, something i am thinking of as i can't afford classes.
just some ideas.
i'm with you all the way hun
xx
Barb
Gold Member
Yes - it could and I would say is! Unreasonable expectations almost always meet with poor results. However reasonable expectations, such as a no pressure healthy plan with an organised treat, could and will work wonders! Now if I could just have a word with myself and listen to my own good sense....
Take care, lot of love, your longlost twin!
Take care, lot of love, your longlost twin!
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Not a bad idea Cheryl ... I know there are a couple of family members and perhaps a couple of friends who might like the idea of starting a mini 'slimming club' where we can all follow our own paths but get together once a week for a weigh-in and talk over the high / low points and what worked (or didn't!) for us. Definitely worth thinking about! I do like the RC principles (RC is my plan of choice - if only they had one near me!) I lost 6st on RC when I lived up North. Left because I thought I could go it alone and regained 4st of it before starting CD.
Moral of the story seems to be that (for me) I CANNOT go it alone.
Barb - meeting up for the day is in the crystal ball for us. One day - don't know when - you and I are going to have a coffee and a LONG chat!
Moral of the story seems to be that (for me) I CANNOT go it alone.
Barb - meeting up for the day is in the crystal ball for us. One day - don't know when - you and I are going to have a coffee and a LONG chat!
canireallydothis!!
Gold Member
RD,
Bloomin heck hun, whats all this?? You are one of the first ever people I spoke to on Minis and you have been there throughout, and I dont want you to put a complete downer on yourself, you are so worthy hun.
The lightbulb mention struck a cord with me, you know I have the big habit of repeating myself and waffling, well, I want to do it again. I firmly believe that to diet, especially with a VLCD your head has to be in the right place, and only focus on that particular task.
At the moment hun, that is impossible for you to do, and I think you need to stop thinking you are a failure, because you cant focus on the one thing. You are not a failure, you are a fab wife, mum, daughter, but most of all, you are a FAB DEBBIE.
Take it easy, have a freddo per day, and what about the free WLR trial for 3 days to try and keep things steady.
Love to you x
Bloomin heck hun, whats all this?? You are one of the first ever people I spoke to on Minis and you have been there throughout, and I dont want you to put a complete downer on yourself, you are so worthy hun.
The lightbulb mention struck a cord with me, you know I have the big habit of repeating myself and waffling, well, I want to do it again. I firmly believe that to diet, especially with a VLCD your head has to be in the right place, and only focus on that particular task.
At the moment hun, that is impossible for you to do, and I think you need to stop thinking you are a failure, because you cant focus on the one thing. You are not a failure, you are a fab wife, mum, daughter, but most of all, you are a FAB DEBBIE.
Take it easy, have a freddo per day, and what about the free WLR trial for 3 days to try and keep things steady.
Love to you x
Barb
Gold Member
Love the idea of a meet Debbie - we have to do that. I bet we would talk ourselves into a state of exhaustion! What away to go!
You are getting some really good ideas on here, I like the one of yours about an informal diet club for friends. From little acorns.......
Good luck with whatever you decide to do, you know you have a tremendous amount of support from us all, don't be afraid to use it.
Love
You are getting some really good ideas on here, I like the one of yours about an informal diet club for friends. From little acorns.......
Good luck with whatever you decide to do, you know you have a tremendous amount of support from us all, don't be afraid to use it.
Love
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
I really appreciate all the supportive comments I get - this really is the closest thing to 'face-to-face' support that I think you can get.
I've taken the advice on board and today (so far) I've been quite kind to myself. I even took a good long look in the mirror and FORCED myself to think about something positive I could see.
I accept I may have some positive character traits (when I make a friend I seem to keep them - that must say something) but I find it exceptionally difficult to see anything nice in myself physically. It's true to say that, recently, whenever I've seen myself in a mirror, I've been disgusted: all I can see is a hideous monster. I have convinced myself that I'm one of life's very ugly people (beautiful inside maybe - but people don't see your insides when you first walk into a room!)
And in my merciless mirrored shower, the only thing that I can see is my stomach - I don't even look at my face - just that huge belly. Like some sort of huge parasite, it has taken over my perception of myself ... all I can see is a huge belly with legs!
Anyway - I digress ... I looked in the mirror today in a non-critical but factual sort-of-way and the positive things I can say are:
* For my age, my skin is pretty good: quite smooth with only a few laughter lines (I put it down to loads of water - thanks CD!)
* My hair is also in pretty good nick - no split ends and quite shiny.
* My ears are quite neat (Ok - that's scraping the bottom of the barrel but this is supposed to be an exercise in positive thinking)
* My finger nails are fab. Shiny, strong and healthy.
Those are about the only positive things I can say about my physical self - but it's a start!
Diet-wise, so far today I've had a CD shake for breakfast and for lunch, I had a whole tin (small) of mixed bean salad, and a whole small tin of tuna, mixed together topped with a squirt of sweet chilli sauce. Instead of ignoring the nutritional content or looking at it afterwards and my jaw hitting the floor, I looked beforehand.
Altogether, it came to 300cals. Now, with my CD head on, I'd go into a blind panic because on SS you don't go over 550 and I've already had way over 400 in just two meals but here's where I need to take my CD hat off and see that what I've had is a good, healthy, low cal day so far.
I'm off to the shops later to get some veg and chicken breasts in ... if I fail to plan then I plan to fail. Think I'll have a chicken breast braised in lemon sauce served with steamed veg for dinner ... and a Freddo for a indulgent nibbly treat tonight.
I've taken the advice on board and today (so far) I've been quite kind to myself. I even took a good long look in the mirror and FORCED myself to think about something positive I could see.
I accept I may have some positive character traits (when I make a friend I seem to keep them - that must say something) but I find it exceptionally difficult to see anything nice in myself physically. It's true to say that, recently, whenever I've seen myself in a mirror, I've been disgusted: all I can see is a hideous monster. I have convinced myself that I'm one of life's very ugly people (beautiful inside maybe - but people don't see your insides when you first walk into a room!)
And in my merciless mirrored shower, the only thing that I can see is my stomach - I don't even look at my face - just that huge belly. Like some sort of huge parasite, it has taken over my perception of myself ... all I can see is a huge belly with legs!
Anyway - I digress ... I looked in the mirror today in a non-critical but factual sort-of-way and the positive things I can say are:
* For my age, my skin is pretty good: quite smooth with only a few laughter lines (I put it down to loads of water
- thanks CD!)* My hair is also in pretty good nick - no split ends and quite shiny.
* My ears are quite neat (Ok - that's scraping the bottom of the barrel but this is supposed to be an exercise in positive thinking
)* My finger nails are fab. Shiny, strong and healthy.
Those are about the only positive things I can say about my physical self - but it's a start!
Diet-wise, so far today I've had a CD shake for breakfast and for lunch, I had a whole tin (small) of mixed bean salad, and a whole small tin of tuna, mixed together topped with a squirt of sweet chilli sauce. Instead of ignoring the nutritional content or looking at it afterwards and my jaw hitting the floor, I looked beforehand.
Altogether, it came to 300cals. Now, with my CD head on, I'd go into a blind panic because on SS you don't go over 550 and I've already had way over 400 in just two meals but here's where I need to take my CD hat off and see that what I've had is a good, healthy, low cal day so far.
I'm off to the shops later to get some veg and chicken breasts in ... if I fail to plan then I plan to fail. Think I'll have a chicken breast braised in lemon sauce served with steamed veg for dinner ... and a Freddo for a indulgent nibbly treat tonight.
pandora
finding my way again !
all sounds good Debbie.
if you're like me, the hols don't help too much, you tend to do thing ad hoc depending on the weather etc.I think we will both find it easier to knuckle down once the little one's are back at school.
If your Sophie is like my Charlotte, she can't wait to go to "big school" & be all grown up
xx
if you're like me, the hols don't help too much, you tend to do thing ad hoc depending on the weather etc.I think we will both find it easier to knuckle down once the little one's are back at school.
If your Sophie is like my Charlotte, she can't wait to go to "big school" & be all grown up
xx
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Sophie's dreading it ... she was quite happy being the big fish in the little pond of her primary school. There was a degree of security in that; Sophie's not a great lover of change. Now she's just going to be a tiddler in the ocean of a HUGE secondary school. Her biggest fear is that she's going to get lost ... but I told her that within a week she'll know where all the corridors and classrooms are. I said that if she just sticks with her friends they can all orientate themselves together
I'm back at Uni in September also - I haven't even LOOKED at my reading list or tasks. I can't really afford the books so I thought I might go to my library, list in hand and see what they have (which is not a lot in Gosport unfortunately ... since they changed from a 'library' into a 'Discovery centre' they have a distinct lack of books! :sigh
Still - I'll have a go. I think they can order stuff from other libraries so I might be lucky.
I'm back at Uni in September also - I haven't even LOOKED at my reading list or tasks. I can't really afford the books so I thought I might go to my library, list in hand and see what they have (which is not a lot in Gosport unfortunately ... since they changed from a 'library' into a 'Discovery centre' they have a distinct lack of books! :sigh
Still - I'll have a go. I think they can order stuff from other libraries so I might be lucky.
