Refocus group - all welcome!

[Spanglymum]

Juju, your approach of one day at a time sounds eminently sensible. And congratulations on getting out of the morbidly obese category! Well done!

Rosie, a gratitude journal is where you note down three or more things every day that you're grateful for. The idea is that we get whatever we focus on in life - our thoughts determine our experience of life. So you can either dwell on the negative and have a rubbish day or by remembering the positive, be in a better frame of mind. It's a bit cheesy, but better than the alternative!

 

[bluesunflower]

Congrats juju_doll!!

 

[rosieposie]

Well done Juju doll, great milestone.
Thanks Spangly for explanation, I will try to do that but so far have not managed to do a journal (I have some resistance to it for some reason) even though lots of different people have told me it will be helpful.
Hopefully three things won't be too difficult to actually make myself do.

 

[Debbi8489]

Evening all

Well, still hungry, still waiting on my keto fairy to visit. Still tired lol. I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow bursting with energy and raring to go! I was at BodyAttack tonight and I strained something Had to retire early *sigh* I've had my bath, slathered myself with body oil and will slather my feet once I've finished on the pc. Watching a bit of tv and then off to bed for 10ish.

Rosie - I think here is the best place to be when your head is all over the place. Ha! Do as I say, not do as I do in this case! I was MIA for a while when my head wasnt right. Could have done with everyones support then. How are you finding Total now?

Bluesunflower - what didnt you like about OA? I'm intrigued. Also, your friends...I bet they dont notice and if they do, does it matter? If so, why does it matter?

Well done Juju, thats brilliant!!!! Not long until your 4 stone loss now

Spangly - glad you've had a good day at work, you sound much more positive. I'd be interested what effect your gratitude diary has. As you can imagine, I see some people in very sad circumstances at work. Today was one of them and I'm a bit cross with our society and how we treat our veterans. Grrrr...anyway, I have an awful lot to be thankful for.

Anyway, its taken me ages to write this...its nearly my bedtime.

night night xx

 

[juju_doll]

Thanks all, how have we managed today? I've felt really focused which is surprising but good. I've been doing some reading lately that has inspired me. Firstly, the William Leith book, The Hungry Years, which id actually read before but is a brilliantly written look at sugar/carb addiction and Anatomy of a Food Addiction by Anne Katherine, which is an excellent look at the power of sugar addiction and gives some really useful assignments. Don't know if anyone else has read them but they've really helped x

 

[bluesunflower]

Debbi, I have mixed feelings about OA. I enjoy the meetings and hearing other people's thoughts on food addiction and the steps they are taking to recover. Before starting LL and going to the weekly groups (which I found more useful than OA) I used to go to meetings quite regularly, especially when I felt like my relationship with food had reached new lows. However, there are two things I struggle with. In OA you look to a higher power for help and the first thing you are expected to do is admit that you are powerless over your addiction and put yourself in the hands of this higher power. Thing is, I find it quite dangerous, for want of a better word, to relinquish all the responsibility like that; it led to crooked thoughts such as ‘it’s not my fault if I give in then, etc.’. I do not think that it is up to anyone but me to make the right choice and abstain and if I do give in it is because I chose to do so and will then need to deal with the consequences. The other thing is that I did not feel particularly comfortable sharing my experience during the meetings and, while you are under no obligation to do so, it just became weird after a while that I was the only one not sharing.

Juju_doll, I very much enjoyed Leith's Hungry Years! There are so many things to relate to in that book.

Still re-reading Beck Diet Solution. Everything in that book makes sense and I think even in terms of coping mechanisms and recovery it's one of the best ones out there. Still, the chatterbox won't shut it and it's a constant battle not to give in...thank God I'm under the covers and there's no way I'm going out in this rain to get 'supplies'. I sound like a heroin addict. Feel like one sometimes...


Sweet dreams ladies!

 

[Spanglymum]

I must read this Hungry Years book - love having reading recommendations btw, always helpful to try new viewpoints.

Blue/Debbi have I shared the stuff I've read about Rational Recovery with you before? It's an alternative to the usual 12-step approach used for dealing with addictions - designed precisely for people who struggle with the whole handing over responsibility to a Higher Power bit, and want to take responsibility/be accountable for their own recovery. If you want to know more I'll post some more - but I've found it helpful and very sensible to read in the past (might need to re-read it though I think!)

Well... last night had a communting binge-ette (ie a verrrrry small one) and promptly got home and BINNED THE JUNK FOOD lol. I just got out of the car, took everything within reach (which, to be fair, wasn't much after I'd been munching lol) and BINNED THE LOT. It did help rather that it was bin day yesterday and so I have to put the bin out before I come into the house. GONE! DONE! SORTED!

I say junk food - but it wasn't really junk - just stuff I didn't need/was craving - ie stuff from Holland and Barrett that my crooked mind convinces me is "healthy" but in fact is packed with sugar and salt, but has at some point been vaguely in the direction of a dried fruit or nut...

Anyway. Enough!

Had what could have been a rubbish day at work yesterday as had some really difficult news to impart to most of the team, but pulled myself together, told myself this is what I get paid for and why I am a Director, and got through it. Still feel a bit strange about it but am having a chat with my boss today to vent a bit!

The Steve Pavlina stuff distracted me at lunchtime. Two bits, specifically: the 11:11 bit (!), and an advert about releasing unhelpful beliefs. I started doing the exercise but it's so long I thought I'd start again at lunchtime today and work through it properly. Looks good.

The (!) behind the 11:11 bit is that it's a bit "woo" (to use Mike Dooley's phrase on TUT) but... basically... yes!?!!

 

[rosieposie]

Well done Spangly on coming back from the binge brink. Sorry your day was miserable but a new one today (and the suns shining here at the moment, something for my gratitude diary) set your mind for it.
When you have time please do let us know about rational recovery please.
I also had problems with OA for the same reason
I just love all this info and help we get on here.
A smiley day all.

 

[bluesunflower]

I love this thread too - we're all in the same boat and I'm sure sharing our experiences and the lessons we learn along the way can help us stay on the straight and narrow.

Spangly, I'm very curious about Rational Recovery now - please do tell.
Well done for binning the food, btw!! Sometimes putting some distance is just the best thing to do rather than having that evil chatterbox in the back of your head telling you to have 'just a little bit', and then a bit more, and so on. I hope talking to your boss helped sort things out at work and that the weekend will be a relaxing one.

How is everyone else coping today?

I'm not going to be on packs this weekend; have friends staying over and they don't know about the programme so I plan to stick to low-carb high-protein options and hopefully it won't be too hard to get back into it on Monday. The good thing is one of my friends coming is a health nut and we always eat loads of sashimi, salads and the like when we're together, so hopefully things will go smoothly.

Have a great start to the weekend everyone & hopefully the weather will be a bit nicer than it has been in the last few days (probably not though),
x

 

[juju_doll]

Not done well today, fine until I got to school and an array of chocolate eggs were left on my desk. Led to a dip and breadstick massacre too ..... damn it.

 

[Debbi8489]

Debbi, I have mixed feelings about OA. I enjoy the meetings and hearing other people's thoughts on food addiction and the steps they are taking to recover. Before starting LL and going to the weekly groups (which I found more useful than OA) I used to go to meetings quite regularly, especially when I felt like my relationship with food had reached new lows. However, there are two things I struggle with. In OA you look to a higher power for help and the first thing you are expected to do is admit that you are powerless over your addiction and put yourself in the hands of this higher power. Thing is, I find it quite dangerous, for want of a better word, to relinquish all the responsibility like that; it led to crooked thoughts such as ‘it’s not my fault if I give in then, etc.’. I do not think that it is up to anyone but me to make the right choice and abstain and if I do give in it is because I chose to do so and will then need to deal with the consequences. The other thing is that I did not feel particularly comfortable sharing my experience during the meetings and, while you are under no obligation to do so, it just became weird after a while that I was the only one not sharing.

Thanks bluesunflower, not for me then. I feel very strongly that I/we need to take responsibility for my/our actions.

Blue/Debbi have I shared the stuff I've read about Rational Recovery with you before? It's an alternative to the usual 12-step approach used for dealing with addictions - designed precisely for people who struggle with the whole handing over responsibility to a Higher Power bit, and want to take responsibility/be accountable for their own recovery. If you want to know more I'll post some more - but I've found it helpful and very sensible to read in the past (might need to re-read it though I think!)

Well... last night had a communting binge-ette (ie a verrrrry small one) and promptly got home and BINNED THE JUNK FOOD lol. I just got out of the car, took everything within reach (which, to be fair, wasn't much after I'd been munching lol) and BINNED THE LOT. It did help rather that it was bin day yesterday and so I have to put the bin out before I come into the house. GONE! DONE! SORTED!

I say junk food - but it wasn't really junk - just stuff I didn't need/was craving - ie stuff from Holland and Barrett that my crooked mind convinces me is "healthy" but in fact is packed with sugar and salt, but has at some point been vaguely in the direction of a dried fruit or nut...

I must find out more about Rational Recovery...sounds very interesting.

OK, so its not junk spangly, but its certainly not helping you is it? I think we all need to steer clear of sugar as much as possible.

Off to BodyPump at 6. My strained calf is much better today, so I think I'll be fine. Meeting a couple of old work colleagues in the pub straight after for a couple of soda waters. Hoping to have a fairly earlyish night as I'm working tomorrow. Also, OHs parents are visiting. They live about 200 miles away and we usually go down there. But they have decided to pop up here. I think his Dad in particular feels bad that he isnt around to help out with stuff that we need doing in the house and we've had a couple of things needing done in the rental as well. So they are arriving at some point tomorrow and staying in my parents house (who are in Australia). We have a meal booked for tomorrow night. Not sure whether to eat low carb or stick to the packs? Hmmm, what do you think girls?

 

[Debbi8489]

And I'm STILL blooming hungry!!!

 

[Spanglymum]

If you google 'rational recovery' you will find the website, which has a short set of slides about AVRT, which is the central idea. AVRT stands for 'addictive voice recognition technique'. The idea is to identify which thoughts come from you ('I') and which come from the addicted primal part of your brain ('It').

So 'i want a chocolate bar' becomes 'it wants a chocolate bar', which helps you get some rational distance between the part of you that wants to stick to your diet and the craving part of your brain, which will do anything to get what it wants.

 

[rosieposie]

Hi Spangly, will have al look at RR website thank you.
Hows today going? hope its a happy one. I've stopped saying good as want to stop thinking of good behaviour and bad. What we do is part of what we are at the moment and we can change that (with a lot of effort of course)

 

[Spanglymum]

Hi Rosie. I am having a happy day (though not an abstinent one!) My daughter's birthday party today, so I was running round after 15 children for most of the afternoon. They're lovely lovely children though, so it wasn't a chore. Need to do something re food/exercise though - and next week it will be swimming. Am going to see how that goes. Not sure re packs actually... having some major wobbles (and that's just my bingo wings *hollow laugh*)... so need to get some balance going... mentally and physically. I think exercise is the missing link at the moment, and have realised that because I get to work insanely early to miss the traffic, I actually have time to go for a swim and still get to my desk for 9am! Result! Am promising myself I will do it once next week - achievable goal I think.

Got a big family do tomorrow which I have mixed feelings about. On the one hand, the last time I saw the people who've invited us over, I was 16 stone and it was the first time they'd ever met me! I'm now at least four stone lighter, which is v v cool, but I'm getting cross with myself for the last stone and a half. Gah! and the fact my jeans don't fit. Aargh! Just really wanted to look my best... and I don't at the moment. Hey ho.

How's everyone else doing today?

I guess this is a long haul now, isn't it? I need to stop being so impatient!!

 

[eatlikeabird]

Hello Ladies,
It's been a while. I went to GP and I've gained a stone :cry:. I haven't gone to LLC for a maintenance weigh-in, but I will this week, and then update my stats and get real. Too many sweets/carbs/baked yummies have me feeling so fat that I also feel like I did when I started LLT, even though I know I'm still 4 stone lighter. And my size 16 jeans are sitting in the closet again as I can't fit them...and I loved wearing them!
I know its time to stop the rot, so I've started Dukan. I've just got to focus on that like I focused on LLT...stick to plan and avoid those carbs and stick to the allowed list. Just on day 2 so working on getting into ketosis. I'm hoping that being on a restricted plan will keep me on the straight and narrow like with LLT, although it will be more calories per day. But really how much meat protein can one person eat in a day, I don't think I'll be rushing to fill my plate.
I have a great goal to work toward as I want to go see my niece in her first professional dance performance in Gdansk. It's the end of May, so want to have that stone gone again.

 

[Spanglymum]

Hi, eatlikeabird! Good to see you. (well, i wish you weren't here, if you know what i mean, but it's good to have you with us).

I was reading some stuff about food addiction yesterday and found Food Addicts Anonymous. It's another 12-step approach (like OA) but they seem to offer a lot of support and also acknowledge that if we can control sugar and starches then we will control our cravings and have a more balanced approach to food. I'm considering signing up... Only the fact it's a 12-step plan is making me hesitate.

I just love carbs wayyyyy too much!

 

[Spanglymum]

Nope... On second thoughts FAA is totally 12-steppy. Pity!

I've just found 'stop being sweet' which is a blog about quitting sugar. Worth a read!

 

[rosieposie]

Hi Eatlikeabird, sorry for your gain but also nice to hear from you. Good luck with Dukan. Hope it suits you. Does still give control with the regimentation. I didn't like it, prefer New Atkins(well actually I prefer the old but new is healthier). That protein might start to feel more desirable in a bit, but control as with LL please.
Spangly, glad you had a lovely day and hope today is just as great. How do I find the blog please? Sorry but my expertise is limited.

 

[Spanglymum]

Here you go: Stop Being Sweet No Sugar Blog: Sustainably Get Off Sugary Sweets, Without Apologizing

He has some interesting points in his e-book about sugar addiction, comparing it to cocaine addiction . He even has a photo of what looks at first glance to be raw sugar cubes... but is in fact crack cocaine!!

It gives me hope actually. Before I went off the rails at Christmas, I was managing my weight really effectively, by cutting sugar and as many refined carbs as I could - and it was totally doable. Problem is I came unstuck, had loads of carbs, and then the cravings came back, big time. It's been a rollercoaster ride ever since. I am totally a sugar addict (she says having just polished off a big slice of daughter's birthday cake - it was lush lol)

Just need to get my head back in the zone and back to feeling it was a positive choice of mine to avoid carbs and alcohol, rather than deprivation. I am optimistic that I will get there, because I've been there before and it felt good. In the meantime I'm trying not to stress about my extra poundage too much... and am dithering about whether packs are helpful or not for me right now...

Tomorrow I'm going swimming - realised the other day that I DO have time for exercise. Hurrah!

Hope everyone has a fab-u-lous day. It's lovely to see the sun out for once (although it's illuminating my rather overgrown lawn at the moment and I don't have time to cut it today as we're off out for a family get-together).