Scrumbles' diary...life after losing a third of me...
- Thread starter Scrumbles
- Start date
Scrumbles
Dancing Queen
Swings and roundabouts.
Caught sight of my full-length reflection unexpectedly today and thought, "Goodness me! I don't look that terrible!". Then I tried on a top I bought recently online and discovered it was a still a bit snug. I looked at the label thinking I might have ordered a medium by mistake, but no, it was a large. Ridiculous to be deflated by a label telling me I'm still bigger than a "large" (whatever that means in their sizings!), yet that's how I felt. :/
At this point I think I have a lot further to go mentally than I do physically...*sighs*
Caught sight of my full-length reflection unexpectedly today and thought, "Goodness me! I don't look that terrible!". Then I tried on a top I bought recently online and discovered it was a still a bit snug. I looked at the label thinking I might have ordered a medium by mistake, but no, it was a large. Ridiculous to be deflated by a label telling me I'm still bigger than a "large" (whatever that means in their sizings!), yet that's how I felt. :/
At this point I think I have a lot further to go mentally than I do physically...*sighs*
Ess3x_Girly
Addicted to MiniMins!
I wouldn't worry about the sizes - I have things in my wardrobe that are a 16 and fit and then other things are a 20/22 and too tight - shops are all idiots and don't actually know what size it what!
Scrumbles
Dancing Queen
Aye, you are both right, and the logical part of my brain completely agrees. It's the emotion that attaches to particular numbers/descriptions that's the problem.
I tried on a semi-fitted shirt from M&S that I bought about 10 years ago thinking it would be a decent fit by now, but it only just does up and it's a size...20. I know it's silly, but after putting in the hard yards for over 9 months to lose nearly 5 stone, I don't like to think I'm still a size 20 in anyone's range.
Don't worry. I'm just on a bit of a downer today for some reason. I'll get over it...
I tried on a semi-fitted shirt from M&S that I bought about 10 years ago thinking it would be a decent fit by now, but it only just does up and it's a size...20. I know it's silly, but after putting in the hard yards for over 9 months to lose nearly 5 stone, I don't like to think I'm still a size 20 in anyone's range.
Don't worry. I'm just on a bit of a downer today for some reason. I'll get over it...
Ess3x_Girly
Addicted to MiniMins!
DK totally agree I have two pairs of simply be jeans one size 20 that are tight and one size 18 that fall down! I dont worry about the numbers at the moment if I like the way it looks sod the size! Took awhile to get that way though. ASOS Curve is brilliant for dresses.
Oh the only thing that does bug me is why because I need an 18 in trousers so I need HUGE space for thighs and bum! I have hardly any bum and my thighs are quite small its just the waist lol - so trousers always look baggy and saggy
Oh the only thing that does bug me is why because I need an 18 in trousers so I need HUGE space for thighs and bum! I have hardly any bum and my thighs are quite small its just the waist lol - so trousers always look baggy and saggy
stubbsey
Silver Member
i have found some nice bits lately that fit me one was a 22 two were 20 and one was 18.. i think at the moment with the economy the way it is companies are cutting their cloth literally accordingly and sizes are not so generous because they are trying to cut costs by using less material.
Scrumbles
Dancing Queen
Feeling much more chipper today!
Tried on a t-shirt that my brother brought me back from the States a few years ago. It hasn't fitted me in quite a while, but it does now and it's...a medium! So there ya go...I just need to get all my clothes from the US, lol.
Been thinking about why I'm feeling a bit odd at the moment, and I reckon it's because I'm at an in-between stage. If I walk into a room, chances are I probably won't be the biggest person there, but by no stretch of the imagination am I slim! Some days I feel okay - almost good! - about myself and others I still feel as big as a house. It's really weird. Hope it's just a phase.
Tried on a t-shirt that my brother brought me back from the States a few years ago. It hasn't fitted me in quite a while, but it does now and it's...a medium!
So there ya go...I just need to get all my clothes from the US, lol.Been thinking about why I'm feeling a bit odd at the moment, and I reckon it's because I'm at an in-between stage. If I walk into a room, chances are I probably won't be the biggest person there, but by no stretch of the imagination am I slim! Some days I feel okay - almost good! - about myself and others I still feel as big as a house. It's really weird. Hope it's just a phase.
stubbsey
Silver Member
I know what you mean about the inbetween thing, i have lost half the weight i want to lose and recently went to a wedding, the people there hadnt seen me since i was at my heaviest and were really full of complements, but i felt dumpy and unattractive, not the fattest person there but not yet looking slim and good.. sigh just gotta keep going!
moonlights
Gold Member
Scrumbles said:
This is exactly how I feel - but I think possibly I also see myself as bigger than I am. People I think are the same size as me, others tell me are bigger so... It's hard to be objective about our own appearances. It's like when you get a spot - you might be aware of it all day and how red and gross it is and it's the first thing you notice when you look in a mirror - but ask someone else and they may not have noticed it at all.
Scrumbles
Dancing Queen
^^^ I think we do tend to focus on what we consider our worst bits.
When I was deep in denial, the only bit of me I properly looked at in a mirror was my face because that's the very last place I put on weight. Now that I've lost so much weight I look at the whole of me, but instead of looking at my much slimmer ankles, calves, arms and face, all I see is the blubber around my middle. Yet it's perfectly possible that when I dress to hide it - as I generally do! - other people are actually looking at the smaller bits of me and not even noticing the spare tyres. Go figure.
Having a slightly lower carb day today - I've been pushing towards 35g per day for the past week, so thought I'd back off a bit.
I've been looking at my menus the last few days and I have to confess that I am bending the OWL rules more than a little. I don't exceed my carb allowance, but the carbs I'm adding in are no longer exactly what the good Dr Atkins ordered. I ought to be having more Induction veg as part of the increased carbs, but instead I'm having big bowls of raspberries and blackberries and more root veg like carrots and beetroot. I definitely shouldn't be having oats yet, but I've even managed to wangle a couple of mornings of small porridge portions for breakfast. I guess if I don't lose weight this week I'll know what to blame, *ahem!*.
I'm not really sure what I'm up to tbh. I have NANY, and my reading comprehension is more than adequate to absorb it. I have no real excuse for wandering off the OWL pathway. I could follow it to the letter if I chose to, but apparently I prefer to go my own way Why do I think I know better than the creator of the diet I'm (nearly) following? (don't answer that one , lol)
When I was deep in denial, the only bit of me I properly looked at in a mirror was my face because that's the very last place I put on weight. Now that I've lost so much weight I look at the whole of me, but instead of looking at my much slimmer ankles, calves, arms and face, all I see is the blubber around my middle
. Yet it's perfectly possible that when I dress to hide it - as I generally do! - other people are actually looking at the smaller bits of me and not even noticing the spare tyres. Go figure.Having a slightly lower carb day today - I've been pushing towards 35g per day for the past week, so thought I'd back off a bit.
I've been looking at my menus the last few days and I have to confess that I am bending the OWL rules more than a little. I don't exceed my carb allowance, but the carbs I'm adding in are no longer exactly what the good Dr Atkins ordered. I ought to be having more Induction veg as part of the increased carbs, but instead I'm having big bowls of raspberries and blackberries and more root veg like carrots and beetroot. I definitely shouldn't be having oats yet, but I've even managed to wangle a couple of mornings of small porridge portions for breakfast
. I guess if I don't lose weight this week I'll know what to blame, *ahem!*. I'm not really sure what I'm up to tbh. I have NANY, and my reading comprehension is more than adequate to absorb it. I have no real excuse for wandering off the OWL pathway. I could follow it to the letter if I chose to, but apparently I prefer to go my own way
Why do I think I know better than the creator of the diet I'm (nearly) following? (don't answer that one , lol)
Alpaca
Gold Member
I so relate to what you're saying Scrummie... After over a year on this woe and losing almost 7st I now think I'm more knowledgeable than the book (not really but you'd think I was when you see what I'm doing here!)... I need to get back to basics so badly as I keep circumventing bending the rules on a daily basis! Hugs xxx
Scrumbles
Dancing Queen
Been thinking some more and I reckon it's the diet breaks that have changed my attitude a bit. For months and months I was petrified to move much beyond the 20g carbs of Induction, but actually losing a pound during my last break whilst eating about 70-80g of carbs a day has probably made me feel that I am less carb-sensitive than I thought.
Now that's good on the one hand because being less fearful of food is a positive step in re-building my relationship with it, but on the other, it would be extremely dangerous to develop a false sense of security, to feel even remotely bullet-proof. It seems I can handle all manner of temptation as long as I can mentally integrate it into part of my plan, but what happens when I get to target and I am no longer on a plan as such? Because that day will come. Will over-confidence allow my old food demons to come back to haunt me?
Hmmm.
Cals were 1483 and carbs were 29g yesterday and I actually managed to eat more than 15g in foundation veg, and no "dodgy" stuff, lol. Result!
Now that's good on the one hand because being less fearful of food is a positive step in re-building my relationship with it, but on the other, it would be extremely dangerous to develop a false sense of security, to feel even remotely bullet-proof. It seems I can handle all manner of temptation as long as I can mentally integrate it into part of my plan, but what happens when I get to target and I am no longer on a plan as such? Because that day will come. Will over-confidence allow my old food demons to come back to haunt me?
Hmmm.
Cals were 1483 and carbs were 29g yesterday and I actually managed to eat more than 15g in foundation veg, and no "dodgy" stuff, lol. Result!
Scrumbles
Dancing Queen
It's been a long time, hasn't it?
I re-read parts of the book last night (I have the latest version) and I think it's helped to rein me in a bit - I didn't try to work porridge into my menu for today, so I guess that's good for starters, lol!
Do you have any particular "banned" items that trouble you? I don't seem to have any obvious ones but my additional carbs rarely seem to be allotted to extra veg - more likely to be fruit, I'm afraid. Tsk!
