Scrumbles' diary...life after losing a third of me...

[moonlights]

Not losing anything at all atm - apparently not eating is criminal when you're my body. Am going to try and get more food in me today but figure I am cruising for a STS, I guess we'll see. Have stayed firmly in ketosis at least, though it would have been easier to eat if I hadn't, perhaps, but that one's a bit of a vicious circle.

And yes, maybe even I could get away with a fun sized bag, who knows. Must. Be strong. Til Xmas.

 

[Scrumbles]

You are strong - no two ways about it.

And anyway, Maltesers ain't all that After months of eating only Green & Black's 85%, I really noticed how yucky junk chocolate is - doesn't really taste of anything except sweet Chocolate almond cocoa bark tastes much better...and you can have that!

You lost 3lbs last week, so maybe your body is adjusting to that loss this week? Could be that thing where your cells are losing fat but temporarily refilling with water, so your weight doesn't change?

Either way, I hope you can start eating more soon - must be horrid having no appetite and having to force yourself

 

[moonlights]

Yeah you know I've actually really gone off sweet things. I make a microwave almond cake now and then and have sweet tea but very rarely get days when I need bark etc (which is good as the last couple of times I've made it it hasn't gone quite right). Ive always had more of a salty tooth than a savoury one (cakes have always been left uneaten in my house although I've demolished the odd box of chocs in my day) but low carbing seems to have really underlined that. Though I'm sure I'll be eating sweeties at Xmas!

Anyway your experiments are so nice to hear about, they give us all hope for maintenance. A little of what you fancy but not too much... That's.... That's *normal* eating, isn't it. Wow.

 

[Scrumbles]

Four days done and I'm currently 1.8lbs up on posted weight, though I've been having *park* issues since Monday so I'm fairly certain that will account for some of it. (Why do extra carbs bung me up?? Always happens!)

It seems to be working out that I'm mostly sticking to the main meals that I've been having in OWL, just adding carby things around them here and there. That appears to be my best bet for bumping up my carbs whilst making sure that I still get all the good stuff - my proteins, good fats and foundation veggies.

But the revelation this time around is that I've realised that I no longer feel the need to have a carb hit at every meal. Once upon a time, no lunch or dinner felt complete unless it contained a big whack of starch somewhere, be it bread, pasta, potatoes, rice, oats, whatever. Now I'm so out of the habit of including a starchy carb, I'm finding it feels quite abnormal to do so, even while I'm on a break. If anything is giving me hope for the future, it's that - a genuine change of habit that feels like it will stick has to be good news

 

[ladyfelsham]

Sounds like your brain is computing what your body already knows, hun - hope you get to walk in the park soon!

 

[Scrumbles]

The park has been visited!

But not before my weigh in this morning, which saw me 2.2lbs up for the week. Park issues notwithstanding, that's the biggest gain I've had during one of my breaks...and it ain't finished yet! Wonder where I'll be by Saturday

As I've handled this break almost identically to the one I took 3 months ago, I suppose I have to conclude that the 16lbs I've lost in the meantime has changed the game a bit (no surprise, really!). I don't think I've been eating enough for it to be anything other than a glycogen + water gain, so it'll go soon enough when I'm back in ketosis, but it makes me wonder where exactly I am BMR-wise these days.

Anyway, just thinking aloud

One more day to go, then it'll be back to business as usual...

 

[Scrumbles]

Ugh. Every time I come here to post, something seems to go wrong and I lose what I've written, then I can't be bothered

Anyway, long story short, ended my break 2lbs up on posted, started back on OWL yesterday and have shifted half a pound this morning. Hopefully the next few days will see the other pound and a half depart, plus some more. Fingers crossed...

 

[ladyfelsham]

Well done on the start of the shift downwards

 

[stubbsey]

Yes thats a good sign not a big gain either well done!

 

[moonlights]

I keep losing posts too, what is up with the site lately. Hope you're well and getting back on track goes smoothly xx

 

[Scrumbles]

Afternoon all! (doing a copy and paste job from Notepad, so at least if the site decides to zap this post I won't have to write it all again )

Less than a pound above posted weight this morning, so nearly back to where I was pre-break

Have to confess that I haven't been my usual upbeat self for the past couple of days - giving up those daily treats that I enjoy when I'm on a break seemed much tougher this time around for some reason. And even though what I was eating ought to have been enough to keep me on an even keel, I felt hungry all weekend - properly hungry, not just craving stuff. I was having all sorts of quitting thoughts, which isn't like me - at least, not for the past year!

Perhaps it's the fact that I've been dieting for so long that's finally taking a toll on me? Sure, I like what I'm eating, but I've never had to invest so much mentally and emotionally in a weight loss project. 6 months was my longest previous effort, so this is uncharted territory for me. At this point I just wish it was over and I could move to maintenance for keeps. I will admit that I'm more than a little envious of the VLCDers on here: if I thought I could possibly manage to fast track myself through this last stone and a bit, I'd do it, but I know it isn't an option for me

Anyway.....onwards I go...

 

[moonlights]

Do know the feeling, Scrummie. We'll get there. And if you're hungry, eat. I assume you're (or were) out of ketosis? I'm always famished when getting into K. I'm sure it will tail off soon.

 

[Scrumbles]

Aye...we'll get there, someday

Ketosis doesn't seem to have quite the effect on me that it used to, unfortunately. I could eat tons of legal food at this point and still go back for more. No way I'd lose any weight eating what my body is prompting me to. Guess it wants its fat stores back...

Anyway, on a brighter note, I've returned to my posted weight this morning - 164lbs exactly. So that's 7 days to put a couple of pounds on and 4 days to take it off again...not too bad I suppose. Hoping I'll maybe get down into the 150's in the next few weeks, but we'll see.

Just remembered that today is my anniversary! - one year exactly since I started my weight loss project. Believe it or not, back then I was actually thinking I'd be at target by now, but I reckoned without the advancing years: the hard fact is that I cannot lose weight in my 40's at the rate I did in previous decades. I'm struggling to lose even a pound a week at this point, and that was never the case in the past, no matter what diet I was doing (they all worked for me, by the way, I just could never maintain!).

Still, I've come a long, long way, and I need to spend a bit of time thinking about that. I find it's all too easy to focus on what I haven't yet achieved rather than give myself credit for what I have.


This time last year I was over 17 stone, and I was falling apart physically. My knees were so bad I could barely climb a flight of stairs, my blood pressure was well above normal, I had terrible acid reflux every night, and I was beginning to wheeze with the slightest amount of exercise (those are just the main problems I remember, but there were probably more!).

Twelve months later, none of those things are an issue: I can run up stairs no bother, my blood pressure is normal, I haven't had to take an indigestion remedy for many months, and my wheezing has long been a thing of the past. Without even doing much exercise beyond a bit of gardening and housework, I'm in so much better shape now than I was a year ago, it's not even funny.

And okay, so I have some loose skin here and there (helloooo bingo wings) and I still have a couple of spare tyres around my middle, but my God, am I in a better place than I was! I've lost over 5 1/2 stone of life-diminishing blubber, and that has to be worth celebrating even if I'm not where I thought I would be.

So for being nearly there!


Onwards and downwards, my friends...

 

[moonlights]

It's been a life changing year for you scrummie. Truly truly amazing.

Feel free to reject this suggestion out of hand - I know you enjoy your own modified version of the diet and may not want to tighten things up - but have you considered a week of strict induction? By which I mean under 20g carbs, limits on cheese and cream, only induction veggies etc. a real by-the-book style week? I'm
Just wondering if it might shake things up for you, in the same way that adding a few things have shaken it up in the past.

But in the end, you've done wonders for your health and lifestyle and you've found a pretty comfy place even if loss is slowish now. I think that's great.

 

[ladyfelsham]

I've come a long, long way, and I need to spend a bit of time thinking about that. I find it's all too easy to focus on what I haven't yet achieved rather than give myself credit for what I have

Exactly! Focus on the good stuff - which from a health point of view, puts you miles ahead where you were - well done chick!

 

[catexx]

I so hope I am where you are in a year. My journey starts tomorrow, I am heading to my 40's and have noticed lots of things starting to happen down to my weight. I look forward to slowly eliminating them, x have looked through you food ideas, and stolen a fair few x

 

[Scrumbles]

Hi cate!

Thanks for stopping by, and be assured that if you stick to it, this WILL work for you.

As for my food, I should mention that I've been doing my own modified version of the plan for quite a while, so I'm probably not the best example to follow If you're in any doubt about what is/isn't suitable for Induction, please ask - I don't want to accidentally de-rail you before you've even got going!

Wishing you all the very best for your journey, and I'll be following your diary...good luck!

 

[Scrumbles]

Hey guys,


Not updating my diary much because there hasn't been a lot to say. Looks like I might be shifting a little more weight - I'm 1.5lbs down from posted this morning - but I think my dreams of being in the 150's by Xmas are well and truly gone. Oh well.

@ ML, I hope I would never dismiss anyone's suggestions out of hand - I'm always open to persuasion, promise! - but I don't think I could go back to Induction right now for all sorts of reasons, the main one being that I'm really not in the right headspace.

I had a looooong chat with OH about this whole weight loss business yesterday, and we both think that perhaps I've come far enough for the time being and that I need to step back and maintain for a while. Problem is that these last few pounds are proving so stubborn that I'm beginning to feel like a failure, and frankly, after losing nearly 80lbs in a year, that's bonkers. Seriously bonkers.

And even though I know that, if I start feeling like I've *failed*, that's a very dangerous place to be. It frightens me how quickly I could start to undo all my good work of this year if I were to get into a "never gonna get there - s*d it! might as well stuff my face!" frame of mind, and it could so easily happen.

Then he also pointed out that maybe I shouldn't even be trying to aim for under 11 stone, no matter what the stupid BMI system says , because it may well be a weight that is simply too low for me to maintain given the damage to my metabolism that being extremely overweight will have caused. My BMR at 147lbs would be around 1400 cals burnt per day, but there's a good chance that my metabolic rate would be considerably less than that prediction and might only be able to handle 1100 cals or so in order to maintain (plus anything extra from exercise). If that turned out to be the case, I wouldn't stand a snowball's chance of staying at target, and then I'd feel a failure for not managing it, and start piling it all back on again. You know how it goes

So I'm scrapping that goal for now. I'll keep eating the way I am and see how it goes. If I lose a bit more, then fine, but I'm not going to go out of my way to do so. For the long term, I need to be at a weight that I can maintain without a) starving myself and b) exercising like mad, because I know full well that neither of those things are going to happen!

Here's to maintenance, then! arty0036:


I shall still be checking in, btw. I suspect I'll need Minis more than ever now I'm relaxing things a bit - scary stuff, maintenance

 

[moonlights]

For what it's worth, Scrummie, I think you're making a really good choice. I was looking at a lot of people's target weights the other day - bmi 22, bmi 20 etc and I personally don't want to get that low because I would never be able to relax and maintain.

Honestly if it weren't for the excess bits that need surgically removing I'd be pretty ok at the weight I am now. A stone and a bit lighter should be fine (of course I'll reevaluate when/if I get there).

I know I'll eat mainly low carb forever but I'm looking forward to a kind of maintenance where ketosis isn't such a big deal and I can have the odd meal out without a panic fit over whether the dressing will derail me. Once I get to my goal I'll allow myself that and if I still have occasional losses from being 95% lc then great. I'm not ready to do it yet - but soon. It does get exhausting to be so focused on food for so long.

So yes, relax a little, maintain for a while - you know how - and the diet won't go anywhere. It will always be here if you need it and want to tighten things up again.

You are CERTAINLY no failure, you've had spectacular losses and are an inspiration. And I think perhaps the biggest part of successful weight loss is successful maintenance. We'll be here to cheer you on.

 

[Scrumbles]

Thanks ML...it feels right to call a halt

I never aspired to have a Jennifer Aniston beach body, or be a size 10 (never been that my entire life!), or to wear a crop top or a mini skirt. All I wanted was my health and mobility back and to feel that when I venture into the street no one is going to point and laugh, and I pretty much feel I've achieved that. It's enough...for now, anyway.

I need time to find out what it will be like to maintain this weight, let alone anything less. I need to know how much I can eat and exactly what I can eat and whether my food demons (bread! cake! biscuits!) will remain at bay. I also need to know whether I can decrease my reliance on FitDay and my overworked kitchen scales - stopping weighing and tracking is a very scary thought, but I guess it has to happen sometime!

If all goes well, I'll maybe try to shift some more in the New Year - though I'll probably have some Xmas poundage to dispose of anyway, so that will have to be dealt with before I decide to go further. In fact the ease, or lack of, with which I handle Xmas may well determine what I do next: if my weight stays relatively stable without too much bother (as it has during my breaks) then I'll try to lose a bit more, but if I pile on the pounds at an alarming rate even with moderate eating, I think I'll take that as an indication that I'm at a low enough weight already

Anyway, we'll see. Maintenance yesterday consisted of my normal food plus potato and leek soup; today there will be one G&T and an apple (does my daring know no bounds?! lol).

Baby steps...