TooFatKats diary of desperation ..(and hope)

Omg! Somebody tell me why I have just uncontrollably eaten dortitos!!! :(

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Omg! Somebody tell me why I have just incontrolably eaten doritos ??!!!

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Ahhhh what happened to texting me lol!!!

Put them down and start again! - on plan that us!! Xx
 
They were just on the kitchen worktop open and called to me :( if they'd not been open I wouldn't have opened them :(

Now I feel crap :( full sick and bloated . Not a nice feeling at all.
And I've still been on xen so I've no doubt mr t will arrive

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Took youngest to meadowhall today to spend her Christmas money. She went round with a friend. Hubby and I meandered round . I went for 3 things and came back with 3!
I wanted a new swimming cossy to go back to aquafit. I've got one but it's too big and when I do the jumps it falls down :0 nit a good look I assure you. So I went for a 16 :) and was pleasantly surprised when it fitted me :) I have ended up with a size 16 BIKINI !!!! Now I'm not saying I look like J-lo or even Nigella Lawson but it looked better than the one piece one as I'm really in-between sizes. I have not worn a bikini since I was 18!
What I did notice in the vile mirrors in debenhams and MandS is that my weight is going down but so is my skin! It's sagging, going very definitely south,
I've always said I would grow old gracefully but now I'm not convinced I want too. I'm actually considering tummy tucks and whatever the equivalent is for the legs. I dont like the look of crinkly, saggy skin :(
What can I do ???

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Again wow to the bikini I think I was about 12 the last time I wore one but actually that's another 2012 goal to wear a bikini on my hol to Florida in June!

I keep meaning to use a firming moisturiser to help prevent any of that but I'm praying that mine wont be too bad but I'd deffo consider surgery I think if I get to target but still hate my body! Cx
 
I didn't think I'd hate my body . I'm not that vain. But I have to say I dont like it :( just remember it may be a size 16 but it's still got me in it. And I certainly don't look like I used to . But it does give me hope that one day possibly, hopefully by summer I will have the confidence to look good in it ( or a smaller one ;)

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See that is what I am dreading, my friend lost 8 stone & she detests her skin even though she exercised loads the whole time, she got to the stage she wouldn't go swimming any more cos of the skin & now she wears cycling shorts under her cossie. Think she is planning on going to the Docs in the New Year as she has kept the weight off for 18 months to see if they will do her a tuck as they offered her gastric band but she declined & did it all herself!
 
Great news about the bikini. I'm aware loose skin could be an issue but have a way to go before I have to worry about it!
 
Fostering medical went ok yesterday. Quite in-depth. I was wearing jeans. Jumper and a thermal and was weighed at 3.30 when I normally get weighed in the morning on my Docs weigh in so I was a little apprehensive to say the least. But I'm happy to report I had lost a little even with the other things.
My doc was really pleased with my losses so far so I think I'm ok on xen for quite a while as long as it continues.
Although I think he wrote the wrong weight on the form he had to complete. On the computer he has ideal weight 67.4kg and actual weight 94.2kg and I think he wrote my ideal weight down :) I'm not complaining though I'll just have to work harder to get to that. Although I think 10 stone 5 is a long way off and I'm not sure I want to be there either . I'll just take it one day at a time.
It's our sw meal tonight cooked from the extra easy Christmas book but so far I'm not impressed with the amount of syns I'll be using on it. I know I can do it for less.

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Hey good look with the fostering, I presume you are having a medical to become a foster carer, I have been doing it for 2 years and it's the best thing I have ever done!! Let me know if you need any advice or support? :family2:
 
Ooh great. Anything you can tell us would be useful. Did you go with private agency or local authority . We chose private in the end as she was much more convincing about the support network and the information about the children being fostered.

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Ooh great. Anything you can tell us would be useful. Did you go with private agency or local authority . We chose private in the end as she was much more convincing about the support network and the information about the children being fostered.

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Yes we are with an agency, and I would defo recommend it. We have got a great support worker who fosters herself so she has a good Idea of what you are going through! What agency are you with? I know It feels like it will never happen but as soon as you get your panel date you will know you are getting there!! Its so worth all the work :D
 
We are going with Foster Care Assiciates. They seem switched on. Can't wait :) I've wanted to do this for so long and hubby has finally agreed the time is right

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I was a character reference for a friend who was applying to do respite care on weekends for a child with learning disabilities & it has taken over a year but her panel was in Sept & she got a call the week before Christmas to say they have a child for her. It was completely worth the time it has taken for her & I am sure Kat it will be the same for you x
 
Happy new year everyone. It's been an eventful 2011 and I have plans for 2012.
We've got friends coming round tonight so I've made a lot of food as usual . Not much of it is xen friendly though so to counteract that I've just had a very late lunch of leftover shepherds pie and I've made a butternut squash soup so I'll be eating that with not much room for anything else :)

I'll be around sometime tomorrow nut just in case you're not I'll see you all when the wagon picks you up on the 4 th at 8 pm xxx

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