Unthoughtful people!
- Thread starter Bunnylush
- Start date
dudette2001uk
I will be a Princess!
This isn't mine, and is very long...but also oh so true! 
Dear Alcohol,
First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work glass of wine, a cocktail or two on the weekend, you're even around in the holidays, or hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls:
While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating:
Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a kebab, a butter chicken curry along with a sausage with cheese, onion and mustard (washed down with wine & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few sweet chilli and sour cream red rock chips)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness:
Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 minutes to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Furthermore:
The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for a previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3 pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the
needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.
In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Friday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you,
Your biggest fan
P.S. Things that are difficult to say when you're DRUNK...........
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon
Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're DRUNK...........
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-Aggressive Disorder
d) Transubstantiates
Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're DRUNK................
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you
b) Nope, NO MORE booze for me
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type
d) No, kebabs just aren’t tasty enough, thank you
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear ME sing
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance. I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a FOOL
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I just refuse to vomit in the street!!
j) I must be going home now; I have work in the morning!
Dear Alcohol,
First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work glass of wine, a cocktail or two on the weekend, you're even around in the holidays, or hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls:
While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating:
Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a kebab, a butter chicken curry along with a sausage with cheese, onion and mustard (washed down with wine & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few sweet chilli and sour cream red rock chips)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness:
Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 minutes to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Furthermore:
The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for a previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3 pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the
needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.
In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Friday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you,
Your biggest fan
P.S. Things that are difficult to say when you're DRUNK...........
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon
Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're DRUNK...........
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-Aggressive Disorder
d) Transubstantiates
Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're DRUNK................
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you
b) Nope, NO MORE booze for me
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type
d) No, kebabs just aren’t tasty enough, thank you
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear ME sing
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance. I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a FOOL
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I just refuse to vomit in the street!!
j) I must be going home now; I have work in the morning!
Mrs.S.
Gold Member
Dear fellow miniminers,
I know not everybody can spell perfectly, but would it hurt you to try a little? Please try and learn the difference between lose/loose, weight/wait etc etc.
Also, why exactly have you come here to whinge about your bad loss/huge binge/ SW not working/scale hopping/if you really need 1/3 superfree/ what we all eat on WI day/do we have a treat night etc etc etc. Try doing a search for a similar thread that was started, ooh, 45 minutes ago?!?
Yours,
Selwonk.
Dear neighbours,
STFU!!!!!
That is all!
Laura xxx
I know not everybody can spell perfectly, but would it hurt you to try a little? Please try and learn the difference between lose/loose, weight/wait etc etc.
Also, why exactly have you come here to whinge about your bad loss/huge binge/ SW not working/scale hopping/if you really need 1/3 superfree/ what we all eat on WI day/do we have a treat night etc etc etc. Try doing a search for a similar thread that was started, ooh, 45 minutes ago?!?
Yours,
Selwonk.
Dear neighbours,
STFU!!!!!
That is all!
Laura xxx
Mrs.S.
Gold Member
Bunnylush said:I dare not post now lol, and just pointing out search never works for me on iPad
Nooo don't say that!!
It's a joke hunny, and I can honestly say that you're not one of the offenders! (except for misspelling the thread title which you pointed out yourself!!)
No offence intended whatsoever, just me being a grump and having a rant xxx
KraziKayzi
Silver Member
Bunnylush said:I dare not post now lol, and just pointing out search never works for me on iPad
I did this when I first started too because the search thing is not on the phone
xMandyDx
Determination is Key
who_la_hoop
Silver Member
lmao! Yes, really it's all a big conspiracy, and we sit about eating cream cakes and falsifying our signatures to show big losses
xMandyDx
Determination is Key
Lol, you do know that means we have to kick you off the site now
Darn, I just got here :wave_cry:
Hey... it would take a lot more to get rid of me! Try some bleach or bug spray next time lol:8855:
xMandyDx
Determination is Key
Dear everybody,
Should I panic? I went through my wardrobe last night,and seem to have one pair of jeggings,and couple black legging that fit me now,since starting this journey. 15 pairs of trousers or more all dumped on my big clothes pile.
"runs round naked"
Panic? Certainly not! Celebrate! Shake that booty lol
kingleds
Gold Member
Dear Xfactor USA
Did you actively seek out the most annoying americans in the entire universe to put on the show? They all seem to love themselves, think they deserve a record deal & in at least 2 cases the invention of waterproof mascara seems to have completely bypassed them.
Also, you have made me feel sorry for Cheryl Cole - for which i will forever hate you.
Did you actively seek out the most annoying americans in the entire universe to put on the show? They all seem to love themselves, think they deserve a record deal & in at least 2 cases the invention of waterproof mascara seems to have completely bypassed them.
Also, you have made me feel sorry for Cheryl Cole - for which i will forever hate you.
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