Dear IBS,
Please take a hike! You have been hanging around uninvited since last week, when you arrived completely unannounced and without warning. I postponed my dinner out for you, I have been eating all the 'right' things for you, and avoiding all the 'wrong' things, despite this making it very difficult to follow my diet. I am taking the peppermint tea and capsules, even though they leave me smelling like a tube of slightly manky toothpaste. I have been doing the gentle massage, the gentle exercise and the yoga exercises. I am fed up with the stomach spasms, the inflammation across my stomach (5 inches bigger!) the nausea, and the associated 'bathroom issues.' You are not welcome. Bog off!
Yours, the rest of my body.