Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!
- Thread starter westiegirl
- Start date
westiegirl
Gold Member
Man, I am so tired after all the excitement of last night and the busy day I have had today.
So I got up this morning and my brother's mate and his girlfriend were still sleeping in the lounge (mate had moved himself back onto my sofa). Went and had a chat with my mum and dad, who were of course worried about my bro. BM and gf had finally woken up and she phoned the police to see what was happening. He was still asleep but had to be interviewed before being released and they said phone back after noon. As there was nothing more they could do, they left because they had to go and pick their daughter up from her grans.
Nothing we could do but wait so I got myself showered and dressed just as the phone went. It was my brother's pregnant girlfriend who was in work and had been told what had happened, but about 3rd hand and got a totally twisted story. Apparantly he was out flirting with 2 girls, had attacked the bouncer, tried to strangle a girl and was attacked by another girl. She rushed up to our house so we could tell her the proper story. Just as she arrived by brother phoned saying that he had been released. No charge, no caution or anything. So brother's gf and I went and picked him up. He was standing outside in the rain without a coat when we found him. He was in pretty bad shape - twisted ankle, cuts and grazes all over and a graze and bruise on his head where it had made contact with the window. We brought him home and my mum tore strips off him. Gf will probably do the same later. Glad I'm not in his shoes lol! Gf then drove him to the hospital to get him checked out and log his injuries - there may a case for excessive force by the bouncer. He does get a bit lippy when he is drunk but this was quite bad, especially when he was outside on the floor being punched. We've worked out that the girl he was tried to strangle was me! When he was chucked out he tried to get back in and I was holding him back. He was pushing against me and that was interpreted as him attacking me. Believe me he was not strangling me nor would he try - besides there's absolutely no bloody way he'd get away with it - I'm his big sis and can put him in his place!
By this time it was 2.30pm and I was exhausted so came back to bed and slept until 7pm. Could barely open my eyes even then but forced myself up. Was back in bed by 9.30pm!
So through all this, have I SSed? Have I heck! Gosh what am I like - evil alcohol strikes again! Not been too bad though. Started the day ok with a bar and a vanilla coffee. Mum was making toast and it smelt lovely but I resisted. Had a soup for lunch but mum had made some sandwiches for everyone and there were a couple left over, so I had them - ham salad. When I woke up this evening I was very thirsty and craving food. Chatting to my mum in her kitchen and made a decision to have something to eat - so I had a couple of slices of ham, a few new potatoes and a couple of biscuits afterwards. Felt quite full and stopped eating then. Proud that it hasn't turned into a binge. Going to sleep soon and will start again tomorrow. Weighed 11.6 this morning - another 1 1/2lbs off from the day before but who knows tomorrow now after I've eaten today. I can really see it is working so I'm not blowing it now! My aim is to be about 11 stone before the wedding which is 2 weeks tomorrow. Not sure if I'll make it but I won't be too disappointed if I'm not, as long as I get back on the wagon again tomorrow.
Good news from today though is that M&S sent me a letter saying thank you for my contribution and they were sure there would be permanent vacancies coming up this year and to return an enclosed form if I was interested. I think I will return it anyway, I've got nothing to lose. The benefit would be no travelling costs, the possibility of career progression and staff discount. We'll see what they come up with, no harm done.
So I got up this morning and my brother's mate and his girlfriend were still sleeping in the lounge (mate had moved himself back onto my sofa). Went and had a chat with my mum and dad, who were of course worried about my bro. BM and gf had finally woken up and she phoned the police to see what was happening. He was still asleep but had to be interviewed before being released and they said phone back after noon. As there was nothing more they could do, they left because they had to go and pick their daughter up from her grans.
Nothing we could do but wait so I got myself showered and dressed just as the phone went. It was my brother's pregnant girlfriend who was in work and had been told what had happened, but about 3rd hand and got a totally twisted story. Apparantly he was out flirting with 2 girls, had attacked the bouncer, tried to strangle a girl and was attacked by another girl. She rushed up to our house so we could tell her the proper story. Just as she arrived by brother phoned saying that he had been released. No charge, no caution or anything. So brother's gf and I went and picked him up. He was standing outside in the rain without a coat when we found him. He was in pretty bad shape - twisted ankle, cuts and grazes all over and a graze and bruise on his head where it had made contact with the window. We brought him home and my mum tore strips off him. Gf will probably do the same later. Glad I'm not in his shoes lol! Gf then drove him to the hospital to get him checked out and log his injuries - there may a case for excessive force by the bouncer. He does get a bit lippy when he is drunk but this was quite bad, especially when he was outside on the floor being punched. We've worked out that the girl he was tried to strangle was me! When he was chucked out he tried to get back in and I was holding him back. He was pushing against me and that was interpreted as him attacking me. Believe me he was not strangling me nor would he try - besides there's absolutely no bloody way he'd get away with it - I'm his big sis and can put him in his place!
By this time it was 2.30pm and I was exhausted so came back to bed and slept until 7pm. Could barely open my eyes even then but forced myself up. Was back in bed by 9.30pm!
So through all this, have I SSed? Have I heck! Gosh what am I like - evil alcohol strikes again! Not been too bad though. Started the day ok with a bar and a vanilla coffee. Mum was making toast and it smelt lovely but I resisted. Had a soup for lunch but mum had made some sandwiches for everyone and there were a couple left over, so I had them - ham salad. When I woke up this evening I was very thirsty and craving food. Chatting to my mum in her kitchen and made a decision to have something to eat - so I had a couple of slices of ham, a few new potatoes and a couple of biscuits afterwards. Felt quite full and stopped eating then. Proud that it hasn't turned into a binge. Going to sleep soon and will start again tomorrow. Weighed 11.6 this morning - another 1 1/2lbs off from the day before but who knows tomorrow now after I've eaten today. I can really see it is working so I'm not blowing it now! My aim is to be about 11 stone before the wedding which is 2 weeks tomorrow. Not sure if I'll make it but I won't be too disappointed if I'm not, as long as I get back on the wagon again tomorrow.
Good news from today though is that M&S sent me a letter saying thank you for my contribution and they were sure there would be permanent vacancies coming up this year and to return an enclosed form if I was interested. I think I will return it anyway, I've got nothing to lose. The benefit would be no travelling costs, the possibility of career progression and staff discount. We'll see what they come up with, no harm done.
westiegirl
Gold Member
Day 20 - Tired, Emotional & Confused - But Back SSing
Well I was so tired I didn't wake up until after 10am this morning - 12 hours sleep, must have been knackered!
Logged onto my PC and was met by a message from J on MSN that he sent last night when I was sleeping and it was just so sweet and I am feeling very confused. It said he wished I was there so he could just hold me and he wished he could tell me but he wouldn't text me because it would wake me. He thought that we got on really well but that he knew we could not be more than really good friends, but that really good friends was special to him. He said he missed me. Darn it, it made me cry! It's possibly the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time!
I'm feeling so confused because I do like him a lot, but it was not in a romantic way when we met. The trouble is that I still like talking to him and he was the first person I wanted to talk to after my crap date and after my eventful night on Thursday. He phoned me first thing Friday to check I was ok and I was glad to hear his voice. I don't know where to go from here. He is so nice and considerate when we talk but I am also reminded by the amount of ways in which I realised we were different when we met in real life. There is also the issue of "the big thing" which I mentioned previously. It really does impact how I feel about any future relationship. I don't know whether I am being fair to him or me or whether I should just chill and go with the flow. Perhaps I should just enjoy his company whilst we are both still willing to carry on. I don't think it's doing any harm but I don't want to lead him on. I have done nothing but be honest with him about the future of our relationship, but he still wants to be in touch.
Anyway I doubt very much I will see R again. I really didn't expand much about our date as other events overtook things in my head. I have been reflecting on it now that I have had a bit of time. As I said he was very quiet and seemed quite shy. We did spend a lot of time talking and I did enjoy it but I felt that he was a bit self obsessed. He talked a lot about the people he had photographed and didn't ask me very many questions at all. The questions he did ask he asked me again later in the evening and had forgotten he'd asked me and my original answers! He's from a very rural part of wales and I think doesn't have much experience. A lot of his views seemed quite narrow minded. I'm not knocking his views or opinions but I have lived around the country and have met a wide variety of people. I take people how I find them and judge each person individually on merit and how they treat me, without falling into views based typical stereotypes of people. He still lives at home and I think he needs to live a little more. I feel our life experiences are so different that we couldn't find common ground. The best bit of the night though was that he said that my photograph didn't do me justice. I actually felt quite pretty, although that could have been the soft lighting in the pub lol! I did text him yesterday morning to say thank you and nice to meet you. His reply was "it was nice to meet you too xx" ?!? Not sure what to make of that. Not sure if he didn't like me or whether he was just reacting to our parting.
Oh well, think I'm gonna take a dating break for the time being and concentrate on SSing. Besides I think J is more than I can handle at the moment.
Today I am back on the SS wagon. Have had a couple of coffees with half a tetra, have eaten half a tetra frozen and had a soup and a muffin. Will probably have more than my packs allowance - still gonna have my bar - but NO FOOD!
Well I was so tired I didn't wake up until after 10am this morning - 12 hours sleep, must have been knackered!
Logged onto my PC and was met by a message from J on MSN that he sent last night when I was sleeping and it was just so sweet and I am feeling very confused. It said he wished I was there so he could just hold me and he wished he could tell me but he wouldn't text me because it would wake me. He thought that we got on really well but that he knew we could not be more than really good friends, but that really good friends was special to him. He said he missed me. Darn it, it made me cry! It's possibly the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time!
I'm feeling so confused because I do like him a lot, but it was not in a romantic way when we met. The trouble is that I still like talking to him and he was the first person I wanted to talk to after my crap date and after my eventful night on Thursday. He phoned me first thing Friday to check I was ok and I was glad to hear his voice. I don't know where to go from here. He is so nice and considerate when we talk but I am also reminded by the amount of ways in which I realised we were different when we met in real life. There is also the issue of "the big thing" which I mentioned previously. It really does impact how I feel about any future relationship. I don't know whether I am being fair to him or me or whether I should just chill and go with the flow. Perhaps I should just enjoy his company whilst we are both still willing to carry on. I don't think it's doing any harm but I don't want to lead him on. I have done nothing but be honest with him about the future of our relationship, but he still wants to be in touch.
Anyway I doubt very much I will see R again. I really didn't expand much about our date as other events overtook things in my head. I have been reflecting on it now that I have had a bit of time. As I said he was very quiet and seemed quite shy. We did spend a lot of time talking and I did enjoy it but I felt that he was a bit self obsessed. He talked a lot about the people he had photographed and didn't ask me very many questions at all. The questions he did ask he asked me again later in the evening and had forgotten he'd asked me and my original answers! He's from a very rural part of wales and I think doesn't have much experience. A lot of his views seemed quite narrow minded. I'm not knocking his views or opinions but I have lived around the country and have met a wide variety of people. I take people how I find them and judge each person individually on merit and how they treat me, without falling into views based typical stereotypes of people. He still lives at home and I think he needs to live a little more. I feel our life experiences are so different that we couldn't find common ground. The best bit of the night though was that he said that my photograph didn't do me justice. I actually felt quite pretty, although that could have been the soft lighting in the pub lol! I did text him yesterday morning to say thank you and nice to meet you. His reply was "it was nice to meet you too xx" ?!? Not sure what to make of that. Not sure if he didn't like me or whether he was just reacting to our parting.
Oh well, think I'm gonna take a dating break for the time being and concentrate on SSing. Besides I think J is more than I can handle at the moment.
Today I am back on the SS wagon. Have had a couple of coffees with half a tetra, have eaten half a tetra frozen and had a soup and a muffin. Will probably have more than my packs allowance - still gonna have my bar - but NO FOOD!
cazmaz_irl
Banned
Hi Sarah,
take it gently with J, sometimes its not all about immediate animal attraction, maybe you'd put too much into the meeting and then were let down at the reality check......
He seems like a really sweet guy, try to stop trying to make your mind up, black or white, black or white, just surf in de grey for now, it doesn't have to be all or nothing...
The other guy sounds dull as dish water, be strong and actually just text him if he texts again, and say look we met it was nice, but I see no future ....trust me if a man isn't interested he won't bother even thinking about letting you know, he'll just move on ...we women worry and think too much .....
well done on staying of the food today, I've got a good SS day under my belt too, it feels good
take it gently with J, sometimes its not all about immediate animal attraction, maybe you'd put too much into the meeting and then were let down at the reality check......
He seems like a really sweet guy, try to stop trying to make your mind up, black or white, black or white, just surf in de grey for now, it doesn't have to be all or nothing...
The other guy sounds dull as dish water, be strong and actually just text him if he texts again, and say look we met it was nice, but I see no future ....trust me if a man isn't interested he won't bother even thinking about letting you know, he'll just move on ...we women worry and think too much .....
well done on staying of the food today, I've got a good SS day under my belt too, it feels good
Summerskye
Gold Member
Caroline's said much the same as I was thinking - but put it far more eloquently than I would have
I suspect J may not be 'the one' for you right now - but has the potential to become a really good friend. If anything more develops over time, great - but it doesn't have to. If you just remain as friends, that's important too - as long as you let him know exactly where he stands of course, so he doesn't have unrealistic expectations. In any case, making a new and trusted friend from an internet dating site isn't the worst thing that can happen from using them is it?
As for R, I completely agree with Caz. Be polite, be firm .. and move on. There really are plenty more fish in the internet sea - for both of you. Just see internet dating as a sort of shopping expedition. It's fine to shop around - you don't have to 'buy' the first (or even second) one you see as there's loads more on offer
Well done on maintaining your SS'ing regime too! Like with the dating lark, it might take time but you'll get there in the end if you persevere
Lots of love
westiegirl
Gold Member
Thanks Caz, wise words once again. Yep I am definately guilty of thinking too much. No word from R at all today so we can safely say a line has been drawn under that one.
You are right, things with J are not so black or white. I love talking to him but I just didn't like some things about him when we met. Some of them were me being superficial (looks are really not that important but I place too much value on them) but some of his goals and values are so different to mine. As are a lot of his approaches to life. Some of it is our different backgrounds and some of the things I said about R also apply. I don't want to cause offense but I think educational background can also cause differences. I feel I am quite a liberal person. None of the things I felt about him come across when we talk at all. He is always very astute and tunes into my feelings exactly. He draws me out and I tell him more than I ever tell anyone - my deepest thoughts. I am beginning to think I imagined how I felt in order that I could make excuses not to see him again. Was I being my usual self and running away when the going got tough?
I really don't know. We are having a REALLY indepth conversation tonight and we are discussing our feelings. I think he is hinting that he loves me and has been trying to draw the same out of me (some of the things he has said to me this week also point to this). The truth is I don't know whether I do or not. I think about him when I wake up, all day and we always have to say goodnight. He pointed this out to me, and I feel even more confused than I did. Could I love him? Or is it the idea of him? Could I easily dismiss him on the basis of one meeting? Or is my first instinct correct?
So far I have created more questions than answers and I don't like feeling like this!
You are right, things with J are not so black or white. I love talking to him but I just didn't like some things about him when we met. Some of them were me being superficial (looks are really not that important but I place too much value on them) but some of his goals and values are so different to mine. As are a lot of his approaches to life. Some of it is our different backgrounds and some of the things I said about R also apply. I don't want to cause offense but I think educational background can also cause differences. I feel I am quite a liberal person. None of the things I felt about him come across when we talk at all. He is always very astute and tunes into my feelings exactly. He draws me out and I tell him more than I ever tell anyone - my deepest thoughts. I am beginning to think I imagined how I felt in order that I could make excuses not to see him again. Was I being my usual self and running away when the going got tough?
I really don't know. We are having a REALLY indepth conversation tonight and we are discussing our feelings. I think he is hinting that he loves me and has been trying to draw the same out of me (some of the things he has said to me this week also point to this). The truth is I don't know whether I do or not. I think about him when I wake up, all day and we always have to say goodnight. He pointed this out to me, and I feel even more confused than I did. Could I love him? Or is it the idea of him? Could I easily dismiss him on the basis of one meeting? Or is my first instinct correct?
So far I have created more questions than answers and I don't like feeling like this!
westiegirl
Gold Member
Caroline's said much the same as I was thinking - but put it far more eloquently than I would have
I suspect J may not be 'the one' for you right now - but has the potential to become a really good friend. If anything more develops over time, great - but it doesn't have to. If you just remain as friends, that's important too - as long as you let him know exactly where he stands of course, so he doesn't have unrealistic expectations. In any case, making a new and trusted friend from an internet dating site isn't the worst thing that can happen from using them is it?
As for R, I completely agree with Caz. Be polite, be firm .. and move on. There really are plenty more fish in the internet sea - for both of you. Just see internet dating as a sort of shopping expedition. It's fine to shop around - you don't have to 'buy' the first (or even second) one you see as there's loads more on offer
Well done on maintaining your SS'ing regime too! Like with the dating lark, it might take time but you'll get there in the end if you persevere
Lots of love
Thanks Sharon, I am so grateful to have such wise friends but confusion reigns supreme at the moment.
I have been totally honest with him tonight and told him how much I liked talking to him, but there were issues that I couldn't resolve and that I didn't want to lead him on. He told me that I wasn't and he is still talking to me.
Don't know where to go from here tbh. I guess I will work it out on my own.
cazmaz_irl
Banned
Westie,
Can i be as brutally honest with ya....YOU DON'T LOVE HIM, YOU DON'T EVEN FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE...so you like him as a friend, i chat on MSN to the same person every day, and I'd miss them if they weren't there but that doesn't mean I love them....especially as its another female...its called being friends.
Get him to stop messing with your head...you've got to tell him...Listen J...we're friends and thats it, if thats not enough for you, then we can't be friends anymore..
gotta be cruel to be kind on both of ya's
Can i be as brutally honest with ya....YOU DON'T LOVE HIM, YOU DON'T EVEN FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE...so you like him as a friend, i chat on MSN to the same person every day, and I'd miss them if they weren't there but that doesn't mean I love them....especially as its another female...its called being friends.
Get him to stop messing with your head...you've got to tell him...Listen J...we're friends and thats it, if thats not enough for you, then we can't be friends anymore..
gotta be cruel to be kind on both of ya's
Summerskye
Gold Member
That's all you can do, honey - and it will inevitably resolve itself over time.
It is entirely possible, of course, to become incredibly attached to someone simply by chatting with them online as it's so easy to reveal so much of yourself that way (and vice versa) and it's also very easy to confuse that attachment with feelings of love.
I believe though that falling in love with someone really only happens if there's genuine chemistry, compatibility and mutual attraction between you. If that's not there when you meet in person, then there's nothing wrong in loving him as a good friend but still not see him as a potential partner/lover.
westiegirl
Gold Member
LOLOL Caz, that's what I love about ya - call a spade a spade!
Trouble is I don't think he is messing with my head anymore than I am messing with his! I must admit to initiating contact with him too and I am ashamed to say flirting madly too! Tonights conversation is actually really helpful - he is being so astute and not forcing me to say anything but is helping me explore my own feelings about what I want!
Um, we'll see!
Trouble is I don't think he is messing with my head anymore than I am messing with his! I must admit to initiating contact with him too and I am ashamed to say flirting madly too! Tonights conversation is actually really helpful - he is being so astute and not forcing me to say anything but is helping me explore my own feelings about what I want!
Um, we'll see!
westiegirl
Gold Member
I guess there is so much sense there that it gives me a lot to think about. Feeling so much emotion this week that I think I need to take a little time out to think without being blinded by intense conversations late in the night lol!
Isobel1965
Gold Member
Wow hun - just caught up with your diary - blimey, guv!
Soz about your bro - I would deffo see if you can sue the bouncer for excessive force!!
Re J - friends is good. Me and Eric started off as friends and look at us now! Maybe that'll be the way with you and J, maybe not - just go with the flow, girl. What will be, will be. Sometimes, us girlies way over-analyse things (am sooo guilty of that!!!)
Anyhoo - well done on getting back onto that fecking wagon!
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Soz about your bro - I would deffo see if you can sue the bouncer for excessive force!!
Re J - friends is good. Me and Eric started off as friends and look at us now! Maybe that'll be the way with you and J, maybe not - just go with the flow, girl. What will be, will be. Sometimes, us girlies way over-analyse things (am sooo guilty of that!!!)
Anyhoo - well done on getting back onto that fecking wagon!
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Phew... finally caught up with your diary! Lots of oohs and ahhs and no ways!!! as I read it..lol.. shame about what happened with your bro.. that's the terrible thing about alcohol... makes people react differently to stuff (mad ethe bouncer over-react for a start!! )... and then all gets out of hand etc etc... and some bright spark thought 24/7 opening hours would solve such probs ... anyway.. soapbox tucked away..
J - he sounds like a nice man but you do, I think, need to be very firm and tell him how it is, is likely to be, and.. if he wants more then you cannot promise him that, all you can promise is to be a great pal. The thing is though.. my first hubby and I were friends for years before we got together.. so.. you just can't tell. .. it's a funny old world this dating malarky!
As for R.. forget him.. boring is NOT good.. be polite but don't bother seeing him again. Not fair to either of you!
SSing wise... just do what you can when you can.. it's the best any of us can expect of ourselves
Lots of oohs and ahhs and no ways!!! as I read it..lol.. shame about what happened with your bro.. that's the terrible thing about alcohol... makes people react differently to stuff (mad ethe bouncer over-react for a start!! )... and then all gets out of hand etc etc... and some bright spark thought 24/7 opening hours would solve such probs ... anyway.. soapbox tucked away.. J - he sounds like a nice man but you do, I think, need to be very firm and tell him how it is, is likely to be, and.. if he wants more then you cannot promise him that, all you can promise is to be a great pal. The thing is though.. my first hubby and I were friends for years before we got together.. so.. you just can't tell.
.. it's a funny old world this dating malarky!As for R.. forget him.. boring is NOT good.. be polite but don't bother seeing him again. Not fair to either of you!
SSing wise... just do what you can when you can.. it's the best any of us can expect of ourselves
chelle_powell
We ride, we ride....
Hiya!!
Blimey - better than Eastenders!!!
Glad ur Bro is ok, but I agree should defo do something about the excessive force used!!
As for u thinking u're leading J on - no u're not, u've been upfront and honest in telling him friends is all u can offer!
Well done for getting back onto ssing, it's so hard at the best of time - let alone when u get stressed!!
Have a great weekend hun!
Much love, chelle xx
Blimey - better than Eastenders!!!
Glad ur Bro is ok, but I agree should defo do something about the excessive force used!!
As for u thinking u're leading J on - no u're not, u've been upfront and honest in telling him friends is all u can offer!
Well done for getting back onto ssing, it's so hard at the best of time - let alone when u get stressed!!
Have a great weekend hun!
Much love, chelle xx
westiegirl
Gold Member
Day 21 - A Good Night's Sleep
Day 21, had a good nights sleep last night, even though it was quite late when I logged off.
Feeling a little more clearer today about J, definately just friends and if it becomes an issue again then I will speak up. Gonna take a step back for a few days - just texting and get my beauty sleep lol! I think last night I was just tired and emotional and responding to the fact that he wanted me so much. Afterall who doesn't want to be desired so much? It is an ego boost but I have to keep that in mind. I don't think it would work in the real world and a serious part of our conversation last night revealed how different our goals are.
Got up for 10 am this morning because my brother's workmate was bringing a car he was selling around for me to look at. It's a Y reg silver Renault Clio Sport. It's very tidy and meets my requirements - power steering and a good stereo (6 CD multi changer). I'm easily pleased aren't I! My brother think it's a good buy so I said I would take it. He's going to clean it up and bring it round on Tuesday. Yipee, I'm so excited (except for the thought of insuring it).
Had a busy day - went to the shops and returned my broken kettle. Bought a better one and then went to Asdas to stock up on water and tassimo disks. Then went to Debenhams to buy some espresso cups - at blummin last! Whilst I was in there I called into the Clinique counter and decided to restock some of my items (have used Clinique for years). It was bonus time so I always get my essentials then. Talked to the girl behind the counter and got a mini makeover whilst I was there - lovely!
Came home and pottered around the flat. I had a big pile of paperwork to sort which I've been putting off. So I bit the bullet and got it done. Mind you I only sorted it - will do the actual paperwork tomorrow. The pile is tiny comparitively - so much junk mail!
That's when it all went a bit Pete. I know I haven't drunk as much water as I should and I think that is part of my problem. Got really fed up of my coffee and packs and went to my mum's kitchen and had a sandwich and a cake (and a choc biscuit). But that is it! No more, felt fullish (not stuffed and I don't want to be feeling sick) so I've stopped. Feel a little disappointed but I've given up on beating myself up. What's the point. I have 11 days before my weekend away and I can EASILY do that number of days without stopping. So I said to my mum tonight "ok, i was hungry tonight but tomorrow I start again and please don't let me eat any of your food". She's agreed but won't be horrible to me.
Good news is finally that my period has stopped - after 4 weeks. Jeez - I think I mentioned last month how I seem to get post-MS and it looks like that way again. I am definately mentioning it to the doctor next week.
I had a phone call from the counsellor at the surgery on Friday morning about my 1 hour evaluation session. It's booked for 9am on Thursday 1st March and then she said that we should be able to do some evening telephone sessions so it won't interfere with my work. I am not sure what I am going to say to work about needing the time off but I think the best policy is being honest - afterall it isn't going to affect how I work.
Finally I have completed the form for M&S about permanent positions. I think that I can only give it a go and see what they come up with. There might be benefits and I think I would be quite up for promotion (got to blow my own trumpet lol).
Day 21, had a good nights sleep last night, even though it was quite late when I logged off.
Feeling a little more clearer today about J, definately just friends and if it becomes an issue again then I will speak up. Gonna take a step back for a few days - just texting and get my beauty sleep lol! I think last night I was just tired and emotional and responding to the fact that he wanted me so much. Afterall who doesn't want to be desired so much? It is an ego boost but I have to keep that in mind. I don't think it would work in the real world and a serious part of our conversation last night revealed how different our goals are.
Got up for 10 am this morning because my brother's workmate was bringing a car he was selling around for me to look at. It's a Y reg silver Renault Clio Sport. It's very tidy and meets my requirements - power steering and a good stereo (6 CD multi changer). I'm easily pleased aren't I! My brother think it's a good buy so I said I would take it. He's going to clean it up and bring it round on Tuesday. Yipee, I'm so excited (except for the thought of insuring it
).Had a busy day - went to the shops and returned my broken kettle. Bought a better one and then went to Asdas to stock up on water and tassimo disks. Then went to Debenhams to buy some espresso cups - at blummin last! Whilst I was in there I called into the Clinique counter and decided to restock some of my items (have used Clinique for years). It was bonus time so I always get my essentials then. Talked to the girl behind the counter and got a mini makeover whilst I was there - lovely!
Came home and pottered around the flat. I had a big pile of paperwork to sort which I've been putting off. So I bit the bullet and got it done. Mind you I only sorted it - will do the actual paperwork tomorrow. The pile is tiny comparitively - so much junk mail!
That's when it all went a bit Pete. I know I haven't drunk as much water as I should and I think that is part of my problem. Got really fed up of my coffee and packs and went to my mum's kitchen and had a sandwich and a cake (and a choc biscuit). But that is it! No more, felt fullish (not stuffed and I don't want to be feeling sick) so I've stopped. Feel a little disappointed but I've given up on beating myself up. What's the point. I have 11 days before my weekend away and I can EASILY do that number of days without stopping. So I said to my mum tonight "ok, i was hungry tonight but tomorrow I start again and please don't let me eat any of your food". She's agreed but won't be horrible to me.
Good news is finally that my period has stopped - after 4 weeks. Jeez - I think I mentioned last month how I seem to get post-MS and it looks like that way again. I am definately mentioning it to the doctor next week.
I had a phone call from the counsellor at the surgery on Friday morning about my 1 hour evaluation session. It's booked for 9am on Thursday 1st March and then she said that we should be able to do some evening telephone sessions so it won't interfere with my work. I am not sure what I am going to say to work about needing the time off but I think the best policy is being honest - afterall it isn't going to affect how I work.
Finally I have completed the form for M&S about permanent positions. I think that I can only give it a go and see what they come up with. There might be benefits and I think I would be quite up for promotion (got to blow my own trumpet lol).
