Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!

Day 21 ended up just how I didn't want, with me eating more! Bad girl! I REALLY fancied some chocolate but didn't have any in. Went to the shop especially to buy some, but didn't go mad. Bought 4 bars - one for each of us and a packet of crisps for me. Believe me - buying a chocolate bar in an evening and not buying 20 and scoffing them all is a first for me. Just fancied it, made an adult decision and stuck to it.

Determined more than ever to stick to SS today - I have done so far today. Just had a warmed banana tetra, but I am SO HUNGRY! Ketosis fairy has left me and it's my own fault. But I am struggling big time. I want to eat and I'm so grateful that my work haven't gone to the chippy today - I might just have caved.

I sat with my diary last night and looked back at when I last felt as crap as this - exactly 4 weeks ago (in my run up to my trip to Amsterdam). I couldn't SS then either. A pattern beginning to emerge? I am seriously considering whether I have a hormone imbalance. I know it is easy to try and account for poor willpower with medical reasons but I really do think there is more to it than that. I spent a bit of time on the net last night and looked up symptoms - a lot of which I seem to have. I apolgise in advance for TMI but these are some of them:

PMS - check
Anxiety & Depression - check (on Prozac)
Insomnia - check
Cyclical headaches - check (every month without fail)
Painful breasts - check
Painful intercourse - check
Hot flashes - check
Night sweats - check (so bad they wake me up most nights)
Memory problems - urrrrr? check
Lethargic depression - check
Heavy bleeding - does 4 weeks non stop count?
Bloating - check
Red flush on face - check - was diagnosed as having roscea once
Foggy thinking - frequently
Rapid weight gain - ?????
Acne - check
Thinning hair - check - hormones or SSing?
Mid cycle pain - check - I have always said oh there I go ovulating lol
Unstable blood sugar - check
Brown spots on face - check (not much but definately there)
Low blood pressure - check (remember I fainted last year)

Umm, lots of things there that individually don't mean much but put altogether who knows?

Glad I've got a doctors appointment next week! She might just have to put me down lol. Maybe I'm just a hypochondriac!
 
Have you ever been screened for PCOS? Lots of those symptoms sounding familiar to me, apart from you seem to have escaped the facial hair!

I'm just coming to the end of TOTM thank feck, I hate being a girl sometimes. But then i see my (huge) make up collection and change my mind!!

Hope you feel better soon hon...
 
Hi Sarah,

I just read your post and it was like me writing!

PMS - check
Anxiety & Depression - check - was on Prozac and wonder on a daily basis whether to go back on!
Insomnia - check
Painful breasts - check
Memory problems - check
Lethargic depression - check, that or a nagging anxious feeling about nothing in particular?
Bloating - check
Red flush on face - check - was diagnosed with roscea
Foggy thinking - all too frequently
Rapid weight gain - 3 stone in a year!
Thinning hair - check - quite bad :eek:
Mid cycle pain - check - it can be really painful and then exactly 14 days later its totm.
Unstable blood sugar - check
Brown spots on face - check

Do you also have skin tags?

Please let me know what your Gp says.

Good luck.

Ax
 
Well day 22 hasn't improved and I must admit I have eaten (again).

Survived during the day today but feeling so crap this evening and I have submitted. I came home and had a muffin and my bar - okey dokey - so far so good, then the cravings got really bad. The thing is I didn't want much, I went down stairs and had a slice of bread and a piece of ham. Then I realised what I really wanted was a bowl of soup. So Heinz Tomato Soup to the rescue. One bowl and 2 slices of bread - feel much better! Ok, so I am currently scoffing a chocolate orange but shshhhhh - don't tell anyone *lol*.

I am feeling so desperate at the moment - I want to stick to SSing so badly but feel so utterly helpless and unable to do it. A complete 180 degree turn around from last week, where I was so focussed and nothing could stop me. I can't even explain how I feel right now - just so helpless and totally lost. I just want to cry. In fact I feel completely weepy. Early night for me tonight I think - Bad Mother's Handbook on TV in bed I think.

Might consider the possibilty of CD1000 during this time of my cycle - it might be just what I need to to get me through this time. Called my counsellor and she will be visiting with my next order some time this week so I might discuss it with her.

Spoke to my mum earlier and she has had a lot of "women's problems". She had a hysterectomy (sp) in her mid 30s and had some of the same symptoms as me (although hers seem to have been much more severe).

Roll on next Monday and my doctors appointment!
 
Have you ever been screened for PCOS? Lots of those symptoms sounding familiar to me, apart from you seem to have escaped the facial hair!

I'm just coming to the end of TOTM thank feck, I hate being a girl sometimes. But then i see my (huge) make up collection and change my mind!!

Hope you feel better soon hon...


Dom, thanks for the suggestion about PCOS. Not something I thought about but it is worth a mention. You are so right about the sudden reminders that make you glad you are a girl lol!
 
Hi Sarah,

I just read your post and it was like me writing!

PMS - check
Anxiety & Depression - check - was on Prozac and wonder on a daily basis whether to go back on!
Insomnia - check
Painful breasts - check
Memory problems - check
Lethargic depression - check, that or a nagging anxious feeling about nothing in particular?
Bloating - check
Red flush on face - check - was diagnosed with roscea
Foggy thinking - all too frequently
Rapid weight gain - 3 stone in a year!
Thinning hair - check - quite bad :eek:
Mid cycle pain - check - it can be really painful and then exactly 14 days later its totm.
Unstable blood sugar - check
Brown spots on face - check

Do you also have skin tags?

Please let me know what your Gp says.

Good luck.

Ax

Hi Andi,

I have been aware of my symptoms for a while but not really put 2 & 2 together before. This is the website I was looking at:

Take the Hormone Balance Test

It might be nothing at all and all just coincidence but I just know I can't go on feeling as bad as this every month!

I'll let you know how I get on.
 
Day 23 - Not Doing Much Better!

Well I'm really struggling now! Day 23, schmenty three! All out the window.

New day and a new strategy - I will divide the day into 10 minute sections and get myself through 10 minutes at a time. All well and good until lunchtime and Heather went on the chip shop run. I didn't give in to chips, even though they smelt so good, but did have a chinese chicken roll. Then I went to Spar and bought some crisps and chocolate. Doh!

Had more chocolate in the afternoon and tbh I feel much more lively this evening, after feeling so crap for days! I have eaten tea as well - macaroni cheese and a couple of slices of bread (and a few more chocolates doh) but all in all, no major binge! I think I might just have to give this week up as a bad cause and go for damage limitation!

I really hope my doctor takes me seriously on Monday morning. I can't emphasise again how utterly hopeless I feel at the moment! It's like some mystery force has taken hold of me and it is controlling me totally.
 
Darling - that's exactly how I felt when I tried to SS when I first had my mirena put in!

Deffo plead your case strongly to the GP to get some tests done and I think that CD1000 sounds like a brill idea to get you through this low blood sugar/hormones bit of the month.

It's sh1-te, hey!!

Ooh btw - are you going to be able to come to Dublin? It won't be the same without you, babes!!
 
Darling - that's exactly how I felt when I tried to SS when I first had my mirena put in!

Deffo plead your case strongly to the GP to get some tests done and I think that CD1000 sounds like a brill idea to get you through this low blood sugar/hormones bit of the month.

It's sh1-te, hey!!

Ooh btw - are you going to be able to come to Dublin? It won't be the same without you, babes!!

Hope you're listening to Isy, Sarah? :)

Sounds like very good advice to me darling. Sorry you're still feeling sh#te and SSing is bleeding hard when you feel 100%, as we all know.

lots of love.....xxx
 
Darling - that's exactly how I felt when I tried to SS when I first had my mirena put in!

Deffo plead your case strongly to the GP to get some tests done and I think that CD1000 sounds like a brill idea to get you through this low blood sugar/hormones bit of the month.

It's sh1-te, hey!!

Ooh btw - are you going to be able to come to Dublin? It won't be the same without you, babes!!

Thanks Isobel, I do just feel sh!te at the moment, but it all just makes so much sense to me all the symptoms but I'll see what she says. She is a fab doctor. She's my brother's doctor and looked after him really well at the end of last year when he went through his really low patch. He went to see her yesterday about his "injuries" from the bouncer. He can't drive so is signed off until Thursday. He could have gone back to work tomorrow really but it's his girlfriend's 20 week scan and he didn't want to miss it. That's how understanding she is. He was devestated when he came home yesterday and told us that she (the doctor) is leaving in April. His girlfriend laughed and asked who was going to sign his sicknotes now *lol*.

I'll look into Dublin, should be easier for me to get there than anywhere else. When I get my new car at the weekend, the world is my oyster. Besides a straight road from here to Holyhead and a quick hop across the Irish Sea to Dun Loghaire (sp?). Might be quite cost effective for me. I'll shoot over and look at the thread.
 
Hope you're listening to Isy, Sarah? :)

Sounds like very good advice to me darling. Sorry you're still feeling sh#te and SSing is bleeding hard when you feel 100%, as we all know.

lots of love.....xxx

Thanks Lacey, I know much better than not to listen to Isobel and her wise words. I am really going to try and make the doctor understand how bad I feel.

I also have my counselling evaluation appointment next week (Thursday morning). It's funny but I have been to lots of counselling sessions in the past (seen 3 different counsellors altogether) and they all work fabulously until "the wrong time of the month" hits!
 
Day ?

Where do I go from here? Haven't managed to get back into SS today but I haven't really tried. I've put no pressure on myself and had 3 square meals (ok very large square meals, with chocolate interludes!).

This afternoon I felt really sick of chocolate and I think the "hormone hell" might have passed. Don't have that same feeling of desperation this evening.

Came home and went to see my brother. He had been with his girlfriend for her 20 week scan and we've got a lovely little picture. Apparantly the bump has got a "hose pipe" and bro's gf is a bit upset because she had set her heart on a girl. She's said she'll be fine, just needs to "unplan" all the pink things she intended to buy!

Usually when I get home I have the "absolute need" to eat immediately. Today - nope. The last 2 days I have been stopping at the shop on the way home and buying bags of chocolate but just drove straight past them today! Sat at my brother's for a bit, came home and decided I would have pizza from the freezer. If I can't shove it in immediately I don't want it, but I went downstairs, put it in my mum's oven and sat and read the paper whilst it cooked. That's a sure sign I'm over the worst. But ask me that again tomorrow when I attempt to SS again!

Gonna give it a try and see how I get on. Put on about 7lbs but body fat has gone down. Time to get a grip is now before it gets out of hand.

Tonight I might partake in a bit of dessert (or I might not) and a drink as I'm going to my brother's to watch the footie. Big night Barca v Liverpool at the Nou Camp as part of the Champions League. My mood tomorrow might depend on the outcome of the match. How sad am I *lol*!
 
Hi Sarah

Really hope you get all your health worries sorted out properly. CD1000 would, I think, give you the freedom of choice to eat without the guilt and pressure of SSing and you will still see great results. Hope your team wins tonight. xx
 
Day 1 or Day 24?

Well back to SSing for me. Have manged OK so far, even with the lovely smells of the order from the chip shop and Ian's risotto. It's like the switch that was switched off a few days ago has been switched back on.

Watched the footie at my brother's which was fab. We won 2-1 again Barca - at the Nou Camp no less! Fantastic result! Didn't indulge in dessert last night, but did have 2 very small JDs with coke zero. Enjoyed them but wasn't too bothered.

So back on the scales this morning :( back to where I started but hopefully it's all glycogen. Should be back down to where I was again by my official weigh in on Monday - at least I hope so! Should be in ketosis by the weekend, which is always a danger time for me but I will perhaps just spend the weekend in my bed!

I actually don't feel like the same person as I was a few days ago. She was some mysterious person who was nothing to do with me at all. In fact I feel 100% better and don't know if I'll be able to convince the doctor how bad I felt when I see her on Monday. It's like some dream or something that I imagined. Today I'm in the frame of mind of just shut up and get on with it. Bluddy hormones play reet havoc!
 
Hi Sarah

Really hope you get all your health worries sorted out properly. CD1000 would, I think, give you the freedom of choice to eat without the guilt and pressure of SSing and you will still see great results. Hope your team wins tonight. xx

Jennie, thanks for dropping by even in the dark times you are going through, although I guess you are keeping yourself busy. Sometimes you need to bury your head in the sand and not think about things too deeply. I remember how I felt when I split from my ex. I couldn't function for 2 weeks and slept like I've never slept before in my life. I was avoiding things but I just wasn't ready to cope at the time. Only once I felt a bit stronger was I able to confront the feelings and I guess you will only be able to do that when you are ready. As always, senging you much love. Can't wait till Birmingham so you can get all the "real" hugs you deserve.
 
Sarah - glad you are feeling better today. When you go to see your Doctor on Monday print out some of the relevant pages on here detailing how you felt. Then maybe you'll remeber everything better - there's nothing worse than going to the Doctors once you are over the episode but knowing it will come back. Hope she/he listens and you get some advice/help.

We're still not sure about Brum meet - although would love to come and meet you, others and give Jenni a hug too. Hope you can come across to Dublin one in June as well.
 
Thanks Beverley, that's a good idea. I will print out the bits in my diary and take them with me on Monday morning. Probably the bits from the previous month too! I think I need to remind myself how bad I felt too!

Hope you can make Brum, it would be fantastic to meet at last!
 
Day 1 is almost over and I am doing OK. Had far too many packs but no food! Truthfully, 4 packs and 2 bars :(, but I'll cope! Glad to have got through the day!

Just sitting down and watching Bonkers. I love Liza Tarbuck. She makes me laugh!

Will be happy to get to bed so that I can start on day 2.
 
Well done Sarah for getting back at it..... it's sooo hard isn't it..... and all the emotional struggles don't help either hun.... bluddy hormones eh?

I had 3 1/2 days under my belt and then had a blow out on carbs this pm..... grrrr :mad: Been glugging water and hoping for not too much damage..... want to be well down into my second mini target at least by BHam.....

Take care.....

Love
 
Hi Mich

Hope you are doing OK. Was worried about you there for a while. I guess sometimes you have to prioritise "real life".

Hopefully one afternoon won't be the end, but yes, it is bl**dy hard!

Looking forward to Birmingham so much - can't wait till we get dancing again!
 
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