Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!

Day 2 - Still Plugging

Day 2 has dawned and I am doing OK. Have run out of CD packs mind you. I was expecting my CDC last night (not that she said she would be there or anything) but it's my own fault because I have been taking liberties with my packs having more than I should in a day to get me through. Still luckily enough I have about 15 LL packs still left so they are dong me for today (and tomorrow if she doesn't come tonight). No bars though, but just had a muffin so that's ok.

Bad news is that I put on 13lbs between Sunday and my restart yesterday, good news is that 5.4 of it has come off already. Hope to be about the same by Mondays weigh in. At least then it will be a week on maintaining and not gaining. If I can lose every 3 weeks and maintain for the other that will do me grand. Still going to bring up the whole situation with the doctor.

Still chatting quite a lot to J. He has asked me to come visit him one weekend. He said I could treat him to a B&B (he doesn't have his own place yet) and I reminded him that we were just friends. He said he knew and he expected nothing but friends and was quite upset that I would question his motives. I said I had no problem sharing as long as he knew where he stood and that was that. I'm not sure whether to go or not. He mentioned again about the 4x4 safari but I reminded him I'm away in Edinburgh that weekend. Mind you I can't see him for the next few weeks anyway - something on every weekend from now until the end of March - weekend in Edinburgh, weekend in Liverpool (boss's hen weekend), hairdressers, Brum meet. Phew I'm gonna be knackered and skint!
 
Day 2 - Spiralling

Oh well, it's 4.15 am and I'm very drunk lol! Can't actually type - this has taken 10 minutes to get this far *lol*.

Been out with my brother and am very drunk! Been drinking and dancing and had a very good night! Started at a local pub for a "quiet one" then moved to one of the 2 local night clubs (the one my brother ain't banned from *lol*). Met up with my pirate from New Years Eve (remember him, I barely can - had to ask him his name again!). Well had a nice evening with him and spent a lot of snogging time lol. Got his mobile number and told him to text me. Might see him for a date (if he wants to of course) but we'll see. Now I'm drunk and have eaten but hey, I'm only human and I've had a darn good night! Will post properly when I sober up *lol*.
 
westiegirl said:
Bad news is that I put on 13lbs between Sunday and my restart yesterday, good news is that 5.4 of it has come off already.

Oh hun - we are so similar - I can put weight on at an alarming rate too - it SUCKS, hey?? :banghead: xxxxxxxxxxxxx But well done on losing a third of it so quickly!! :hug99:

Still going to bring up the whole situation with the doctor.

You must, hun - otherwise you're going to be in the same situation next month! xxxxx

Still chatting quite a lot to J.
He said he knew and he expected nothing but friends and was quite "upset that I would question his motives". !
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OH PUHLEASE!!!!!!!!! I absolutely HATE it when a blurke puts on the hurt and misunderstood act!!! Jeez - what does he take you for?? He's a blurke, he has a winkle and wants to use it!!! Most men would sh*g a friend in a heartbeat!! OOH!!! :whoopass:

westiegirl said:
Oh well, it's 4.15 am and I'm very drunk lol! Can't actually type - this has taken 10 minutes to get this far *lol*.

Been out with my brother and am very drunk! Been drinking and dancing and had a very good night! Started at a local pub for a "quiet one" then moved to one of the 2 local night clubs (the one my brother ain't banned from *lol*). Met up with my pirate from New Years Eve (remember him, I barely can - had to ask him his name again!). Well had a nice evening with him and spent a lot of snogging time lol. Got his mobile number and told him to text me. Might see him for a date (if he wants to of course) but we'll see. Now I'm drunk and have eaten but hey, I'm only human and I've had a darn good night! Will post properly when I sober up *lol*.
Click to expand...


Sounds like an excellent night, my love!!! :cupid: :clap: :gimi: :giggle: :bliss: Hope you're hangover isn't too bad.

lots of love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Isobel1965 said:
OH PUHLEASE!!!!!!!!! I absolutely HATE it when a blurke puts on the hurt and misunderstood act!!! Jeez - what does he take you for?? He's a blurke, he has a winkle and wants to use it!!! Most men would sh*g a friend in a heartbeat!! OOH!!! :whoopass:
Click to expand...

Hiya Sarah,

Isobel has said everything for me LMAOL....hope the hangover isn't a killer, but its the fun of the night that counts, get yourself to a sofa and enjoy the rugby this afternoon.
 
Man, is it morning already? Seems only like a couple of hours since I went to bed. Oh yeah, it was!!!

So far I feel fine. I was woken this morning by the phone - ironically it was my CDC who had lost my order and was checking what I wanted. She is a bit dippy but very sweet. She is going to bring my order tomorrow.

Right then, now I am sober I can actually post a little more about last night and some things I have been thinking about.

Yesterday work was a bit rubbish. Rachel, the young one was still off sick and tbh Heather and I didn't miss her at all last week, we actually got on with our work much better without her dramatics! It's quite sad to say and I hate to be mean about someone else but she really does do my nut in!

The afternoon was quite bad too because Ian, the service manager was away at a customer site and didn't get back until 4.30pm. That was ok in itself because I was organising the lads jobs for Monday but there were a few bits I needed his advise on. He disappeared and said he'd be back in a sec. Heather went to the workshop and found him washing his car! She told him I was struggling but it didn't make him come back and help. He just said that he was staying till 6 and he would do it. I'm not the sort of person who can just leave a job half way through and was really pissed off! Did as much as I could before leaving at 5.15pm. Heather was not a happy bunny either because she'd had quite a snotty email from the operations manager about some stuff she was supposed to have or not have done, none of it was her fault. Time to get a new job she said. Oh dear, that's the trouble working for small companies. I'm not sure how I feel about the place. I think if M&S offer me something I will seriously consider it - career prospects are definately better but I'm not naive enough to think that I won't still get some of the same sh!t though!

So came home in a bad mood and was feeling really out of sorts and bored. Had my soup and was wandering around my mum's flat not sure what to do with myself. My brother came around and we sat watching TV for a bit. He was planning a quiet chilled night pottering but we got talking and decided to just go for a quick drink. Went downstairs to my mum's kitchen and we had a nice big glass of wine each. This started me feeling melancholy (sp?) and I had a bit of a nice chat with my bro and my mum about my diet. I was feeling guilty because I had eaten again and was drinking wine. They both reminded me how well I have done and I still have to live my life. My mum said she had found a photo of me from a few years ago and I am half the person I was. My bro was so sweet because he said to me, when I first came down here that he noticed but didn't really notice my weight loss - I'm his sister and I am who I am and that's that. Doesn't make a difference to him at all. My mum said that one day last year when I was at my lowest weight that I walked into the cafe and she said I looked ill because I was too thin - and even then I wanted to lose more. She said my face was sunken and I had black circles under my eyes. They both said to me, when I was at my heaviest what size clothes was I. Size 24. What size am I now? Size 14. They both agreed that was fine. I told them that i really want to be a comfortable size 12 and BMI under 25. Currently 27 so not far to go really. They were so sweet and what they said to me made so much sense and it was nice to get another non-biased point of view. They told me that I am not fat at all, even though I do think so myself! Um, food for thought (scuse the pun!).

So bro and I sat and chatted a bit more before having the great idea to trim the hair around the eyes of the dogs. It all went swimmingly until the dogs took a strop and started fighting. My mum's 2 boys decided to pick a fight with my macca and boy it was a really bad fight. Blood was drawn and everything. I was separating them using a mop handle. It was chaos. Tess, the mum was quite distressed and kept punching me to get them to stop. It was horrible and they were all a bit shook up. Felt really bad because my mum and dad had to get them all calm again and it wasn't pleasant. Did fall out with them a little bit but when I said all that I could do was apologise for making a bad decision we all made up and had a group hug *lol*.

So went upstairs and quickly chucked on some jeans and a top, refreshed my make up and rushed out the door. As I said, bro and I went to the local a few doors down and had a couple of drinks. We chatted and put the world to rights and it was really good. I haven't been in that pub for quite a while and I'd forgotten how nice it was in there. The talent in there wasn't too bad either ;). Was sitting at one point just chatting when I noticed some guys checking me out. Funnily enough my recent experiences with dates and things and my earlier conversation with my mum and bro made me think that they were checking me out rather than being paranoid and thinking "oh my god look at the state of her". That was seriously how I would have reacted even at the end of last year. See I am learning to love myself more. Last night I wasn't overdressed or underdressed - jeans and a black top and looked normal so they couldn't have been thinking I looked hideous. I really would have reacted badly in the past and would have let that ruin my whole night.

We stayed until we ran out of money but instead of going home we decided to go to the cash point and hit more pubs! Bro was worried whether he'd get in anywhere because the town runs a pubwatch scheme and he thought he would be banned from everywhere. No problem getting in anywhere at all. In fact we are quite bad influence on each other - egging each other on once we've had a drink and we both love dancing so going clubbing was the only option! Had a good time, especially when I met up with my pirate. He passed me and said hello and after a bit more dutch courage I went up to him and apologised for being a ***** to him on new year's eve. We got chatting and it was very nice. Made him dance with me a bit but he's not really into dancing either. FFS can I not even go to a club and find a man who like to dance there????

Oh well, dancing wasn't that important later on ;) and we had a nice snog before getting a taxi. My brother wanted food so we stopped at the kebab shop. He got pizza and I bought a hawaian (sp) burger and chips. We walked from the chip shop back to my house. My pirate walked with me (even though it was slightly out of his way) and we said good night at my gatepost. Told him he couldn't come in and that nothing was going to happen on a first night. Eventually said goodbye and told him to text me if he wanted to. So far haven't heard anything so who knows if he will! Perhaps he doesn't want to - maybe he lost interest when I wouldn't put out but tbh that doesn't bother me at all. If he likes me he'll text and if not I haven't lost anything have I! A good night's snogging was a bonus. Oh get me, mrs chilled. Where did that come from? There's plenty more fish in the sea! Perhaps he's going to make me sweat after I was mean to him on new years eve. If so - oh well - his loss! I did apologise to him and que sera sera if that's his game!

So now it's 10.20am and I best get of bed soon. Hopefully my car will be here soon but I'm not sure I should drive it until much later after the amount of alcohol I drank last night.

Gonna have a sit down with my CD booklet and look at the other plans rather than SSing. Might be the way forward with my hectic social schedule coming up in March. Will chat about it with my CDC tomorrow.

God, just realised how much I've rambled again! Sorry to bore you all!
 
'mornin' Sarah

Brilliant diary :) loved reading about your night out.. you are NOT fat.. your mum and bro are right. BUT.. if you want to be a comfy size 12 then you do that.. at the end of the day, it's your body and your comfort that's important :) I thought you looked well slim at Newcastle!

Sounds like you have the right attitude re men at the mo. Good snog and cheerio at the gate - fabulous. Well done you (esp as having imbibed a tad of the falling down juice!).

Your bro sounds great, am so glad you get to spend more time with him these days :) I wouldn't drive until at least this afternoon - in fact, not sure you will be legal to drive until late tonight - depends how much you had really. So do be careful :)

You've done brilliantly and look incredible, so glad you are beginning to think differently now too (about how others percieve you). :) xx
 
FatFairNForty(ish) said:
'mornin' Sarah

Brilliant diary :) loved reading about your night out.. you are NOT fat.. your mum and bro are right. BUT.. if you want to be a comfy size 12 then you do that.. at the end of the day, it's your body and your comfort that's important :) I thought you looked well slim at Newcastle!

Sounds like you have the right attitude re men at the mo. Good snog and cheerio at the gate - fabulous. Well done you (esp as having imbibed a tad of the falling down juice!).

Your bro sounds great, am so glad you get to spend more time with him these days :) I wouldn't drive until at least this afternoon - in fact, not sure you will be legal to drive until late tonight - depends how much you had really. So do be careful :)

You've done brilliantly and look incredible, so glad you are beginning to think differently now too (about how others percieve you). :) xx
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Thanks Jennie, I must admit I did have a great night. No word from the pirate today. I must admit I was quite forward last night and I was the one making the moves (that's so unlike me too). He wasn't objecting but maybe I scared him off *lol*. Oh well, as I said earlier, his loss!

Don't worry, I won't be driving the car for a while - it's got no number plates on yet! My bros workmate dropped it off about noon. He had got the new registration paperwork through this morning so went straight down the garage and got new plates made. He's taken his but my bro needs to drill holes in the new ones and fit them. That's gonna be a while yet because he's gone for a lie down after our busy night!

So my car is sitting all lovely in the back carpark of the house. I've organised my insurance. It's a fortune - £412 but I expected that because I've only have my licence a year and have only ever been a named driver. Should improve greatly next year. The policy is quite good because it only has £135 excess. Most of the others which were about the same price all had £500 excess so I'm quite chuffed. Have sat in it and played with the stereo but that's it!
 
Isobel1965 said:
OH PUHLEASE!!!!!!!!! I absolutely HATE it when a blurke puts on the hurt and misunderstood act!!! Jeez - what does he take you for?? He's a blurke, he has a winkle and wants to use it!!! Most men would sh*g a friend in a heartbeat!! OOH!!! :whoopass:




Sounds like an excellent night, my love!!! :cupid: :clap: :gimi: :giggle: :bliss: Hope you're hangover isn't too bad.

lots of love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Click to expand...

cazmaz_irl said:
Hiya Sarah,

Isobel has said everything for me LMAOL....hope the hangover isn't a killer, but its the fun of the night that counts, get yourself to a sofa and enjoy the rugby this afternoon.
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Thanks girls, but what I didn't say was that the conversation had 2 people in it and I was being quite bolshy on my side about where we stood. Perhaps I didn't phrase it right when I said he was upset. I did make it sound like he was emotionally blackmailing me but that wasn't the case at all. He was just making the point that I had made my feelings clear and he respects that and that I don't have to keep reiterating the point every time some similar conversation comes up. In my experience most men need telling something more than once before it sinks in lol, not used to someone who actually listens to me and remembers. J has surprised me many times by recalling a fact about me that I have said in passing weeks ago (such as one our first conversations about my favourite colour, he brought me a teddy bear in sky blue on our date!). He is a peach, oh why can I not just fancy him!!!!

I know he will never put pressure on me but I feel so guilty that I am rejecting him that I guess I am saying things so that I can give him plenty of opportunity for get out clauses. But I chuck em at him and he still comes back!

I think I will go on the 4x4 weekend with him. It's not until the end of April and sounds like fun. Have told him where he stands and if he accepts that then I think I will have a great time, knowing there is no pressure. Although what you say about men sh*gging a friend is true. I asked my brother on his take on the situation last night and he said men and women can be friends without sex, but they can't be friends without sexual tension! That's so true. J has made it perfectly clear that he would jump my bones if he was given the chance. I appreciate his honesty and besides how could I fail to not take it as a compliment!

Caroline, you got me sussed girl. I am lying on the sofa, rugby just kicking off and I'm gonna chill!
 
Mrs Bean said:
Hi Sarah,

Nice to hear you had a great night hun!

Hope the headache isn't too bad

Best wishes
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Thanks Julie, the night was fab and what is even better is that I have no hangover at all! Took 2 ibuprofen before bed and again when I woke up. Also downed 3 cans of coke zero and a few cups of decaff tea in quick succession! About to have a snooze so hopefully no damage done lol!
 
Well it's Saturday evening and I'm feeling the post night out blues. Had a great night last night but am mega tired and have eaten so much rubbish today that I feel out of control again!

Still that isn't going to stop me having a chinese with my mum and dad shortly. Mmm, looking forward to it, but feel a little guilty because I've just been reading Sharon SummerSkye's thread about her food changes and I don't think I've got there yet. She has such resolve and has learnt so much (such as avoiding her trigger foods) that it puts me to shame. I know I can never eat again like I used to, but I still am! Gotta get a rethink done and get my head in a better place again. But it is my doctors appointment first thing Monday morning. Going to trawl through my diary tomorrow for the relevant posts to print out (a la Beverley's suggestion).

Still nothing from Mr Pirate. Um, that's a shame because I did quite like him. I don't know whether to take the plunge and text him first. What do you think? I don't want to appear pushy and also I don't fancy the rejection if he doesn't want to know. Gosh, where did the strong independant woman of this morning go - oh yeah, I think she's tired!

Here I go again, placing my self worth on another person again! Wish I could get over that! Just because he doesn't want me doesn't mean that I'm not desirable! Although he did want me last night ;). Blummin men, will I ever learn?

Right off to my mum's and to watch the rugby. Probably see Wales getting a drubbing from the French.

Oh, also going to look into coming to Dublin meet tomorrow. Another trip to look forward to!
 
hi sarah
just wanted to say you have done so well with your weight loss so far ! and your diary is very entertaining as well!
nat xx
 
Hi Sarah

Sounds like another eventful weekend for you - i'm impressed haha!

Men are strange creatures hun, sometimes they think they should leave it a few days before getting in touch as they don't want to come across as desperate - wtf?? If you want to text him do so.... if he doesn't reply then you've lost nothing have ya??

Hope the Doc can help you tomorrow babes... look forward to hearing his advice, could do with some myself! I'm on day 21 but it's still hard to be honest!

Luv,
 
Hi sarah.. just catching up with your diary.. a great read as always:) I never have the time to write much in mine.. maybe I should make more of an effort!!!!:eek:
Glad to hear you had a good night out with your bro.. sounds fun.. the pirate is missing out big style if he doesn't contact you.. like you say.. his loss !!!!!
Hope to catch up with you more real soon.. am looking forward to Birmingham loads!!! We still need to sort a shopping trip sometime soon I think a bit of retail therapy would do us both good:) :)

Much love as always

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:D :) :D
 
Feeling Fab Sunday!

Well today I am on top of the world! Much better than last night!

OK, I have eaten (and more than just a little bit) but I'm quite hyper and feeling very positive. Really wanted a lie in this morning but had to get up because I was expecting my CDC. Didn't know what time so I phoned her to ask. As I've said before she's a little dippy and I could have been waiting all day. She told me about noon which was fine by me.

Had a nice chat when she arrived and i told her how bad I had felt in the last week and every 4 weeks. She agreed that trying CD790 for one week a month might be an option although I'm going to do it for the next month because of hectic social schedule. I'm to let her know how I get on. I feel much more positive for having made the decision.

After she left I decided to go to Asda's because I needed some shopping. Had originally planned non-food stuff but as I'm starting 790 I need some protein and veg. I bought some turkey, chicken and quorn. Bought quite a selection of veg too but the good thing is that I am sharing it with my mum. I know I'm only allowed 3 tbsps so this way I can get a good selection and my mum and dad will eat the rest, so no wastage! What I'm really looking forward to is a cuppa with milk and "legally" drinking fizzy juice. Won't feel so bad going out ordering just a diet coke instead of mineral water. So my plan is to have either a pack for breakfast or a tetra at lunch, a meal when I come home and then I've still got a soup and a bar for later. I'm finding about 8pm the worst time because that's when my mum and dad eat and all the lovely smells drift into my flat. If I can have a hot shake or a soup then I should be able to cope.

Ok confession time - I also bought cheese & onion rolls, quiche, pasta salad and chocolate. Afternoon binge planned. More food than I could possibly eat and I only wanted a little of each so I had a bit of them and but the rest in my mum's fridge so my bro can eat them too (we hadn't had lunch so that's what we ate). Still have a bag of kettle chips that I can't face (they'll get donated) and a bag of mini eggs that might get demolished later. Well into last supper mode wasn't I? My actual last supper is tea at my mum's later - meat loaf and veg!

The best bit about the trip though was that I drove my new car! My bro actually put the number plates on so I could get going. It was good but strange. Kept revving the engine because it doesn't need as much gas as my brother's car to get going. Stalled a few times too but I'll soon get used to it - give me till the end of the week lol!

Came home and had a quiet afternoon. Spent a bit of time in my mum and dad's kitchen watching the footie with them and my bro. It was lovely and cosy - a real family atmosphere. Went back to my flat to watch the second half of the footie, which was ok but not as good as if my team had been playing. The only bad bit was when John Terry got kicked in the head and was knocked out cold instantly. Made me feel sick and turned my stomach! Fingers crossed he's ok.

Have spent quite a bit of time on here this afternoon trawling through some of my old posts in order to take them with me to the doctors. There are so many ups and downs and there does seem to be a pattern. I have printed them and will read and hightlight the relevant bits later. There is so much there but the main thing I have noticed and has brought a tear to my eye is how great you all are out there! I have had so much support and I am truly grateful for all your kind words whenever I have been so down. Hope I have been as supportive and return and I am so glad to have such good friends. THANK YOU!

Whilst reading this afternoon, my phoned bleeped and it was Mr Pirate texting me! He wanted to know if I fancied a drink later. Feeling a bit "sunday" today (not strightened my hair or put makeup on) so I said I couldn't tonight but what about sometime in the week. So we are going out on Tuesday. Place and time not set yet but we will organise that soon. Oh me of little faith *lol*. That was a surprise but a nice one! Oh god, I'll have to go through all that what shall I wear business again!

Right then, off to sort through my packs and get ready for work tomorrow.
 
Thank Nikki, me too. Guess everything comes to he who waits lol! I probably would have scared him off by being too eager if I texted him yesterday. Um this aloof business might actually work - seems I've got J hanging on a string too ;). But that's a little unfair - J knows where we stand, I ain't leading him on!

I've just had a lovely roast last supper, but my off button seems to be broken! Especially when it comes to my mum's lovely roast parsnips and her lovely carrots and leeks in a white sauce. Yum!

I have spent most of the evening having a text conversation with Mr Pirate. I think he actually does like me (she says sounding surprised). I think it was when he said that he was amazed how things happen unexpectedly and you bump into people you never thought you would and that he was looking forward to Tuesday. Me too! I almost wish I'd gone tonight because I can't wait to see him!

No point in thinking about it too much though - but roll on Tuesday!
 
Woo hoo....get you, going on about Mr Pirate and now he gets in touch with you!! Excellent....fingers crossed for the restart tomoro hun, I know that when I am SSing properly I usually feel really good about myself and it shows, cos I make more of an effort with my hair and (limited) clothes as well!

AND new car...how jealous am I?! I've been thinkin about gettin one....dont actually need one....just fancy a change...wat am I like?!
 
Hi Sarah!

Sounds like you've had a great weekend - fantastic..... sounds like the kind of nights I used to have before I got married......:D

Hope the new car is running OK and that you and your pirate have a fab time on Tuesday.......:D

See you in 4 weeks for a drink and a boogie......:D

Love
 
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