2015 and It's Now or Never!

[Emmaline]

Hello Emm. The music sounds good fun. Dont miss your tea for a few biscuits. Hope you have a better night. I went swimming today. I havent been for a week so really loved it. Mo

Wish they were a few biscuits Mo...:sigh:
Swimming.. ah! something I must get into again.. glad you had a good time.

As long as you count them in your cals whats a couple of biscuits.

I do as a rule Mary and that's why I'm cutting out a proper dinner this evening... too full up with biscuits!

 

[MinnieMel]

Evening Em,

I did the same . . . Skipped lunch and had popcorn. (I don't usually.)

Have you had your hips checked? My dad's necrotic hip was misdiagnosed as back pain for years.

 

[Emmaline]

Evening Emm,

I did the same . . . Skipped lunch and had popcorn. (I don't usually.)

Have you had your hips checked? My dad's necrotic hip was misdiagnosed as back pain for years.

I am spinabifida so my spine is very weak and off kilter with arthritic complications now as well. I have had a quite active life up until about 15yrs ago now when my back started to get painful. The pain actually presents itself in my left hip with bad numbness down my leg and foot which is typical of this sort of problem and I have had x-rays etc. to verify it.
As with all these types of problems it will gradually become worse. I am now seriously considering whether it is now time to move. I still have my name on the list for disabled tenancy... must get rid of some of my hoarded stuff first!

 

[MinnieMel]

Afternoon Em,

Have you been offered one? Maybe you could check where you are on the list.

 

[Emmaline]

I have been told that I am on the top of the list should I want to take advantage of the offer.
I was advised about 10yrs ago that I ought to move and my D wanted me to as well... I'll see how things go.

 

[moonwatcher]

Where are the options Em? Still in/around Norwich?

 

[MinnieMel]

Where are the options Em? Still in/around Norwich?

Good question -- you'll not want to change surgeries, etc.

 

[Emmaline]

If it would make things easier for you Emm I would move.

Yes I have come to that conclusion now... have been very loathe to leave this beautiful scenery behind!

..

Where are the options Emm? Still in/around Norwich?

Good question -- you'll not want to change surgeries, etc.

The options I was given at the time covered most of Norwich.. but as for changing doctors Mel with the service I've had from my present one I don't think I could do much worse tbh!..What do you say!?!!

 

[MinnieMel]

Evening Em,

You could probably do better re: the doctor. The view is lovey, but maybe some of the other options have views.

 

[Nelliduff]

The view is lovely Emm - sorry you are having bother with your leg and hope its a bit better today

 

[Emmaline]

Evening Emm,

You could probably do better re: the doctor. The view is lovely, but maybe some of the other options have views.

Had a look through them all when they gave me the list and unfortunately no views like mine but if I'm not going to be able to drive because of my back and leg problem it will be better to go where at least I will have some company.
I bumped into a couple of people that I used to know many years ago who were now living in sheltered housing and thoroughly enjoying it as there were so many things that were held there for social get togethers.

Sunday 23rd March 2014

Advertised a Vax carpet washer for free and soon got someone calling for it. When I bought it many moons ago I was quite ill for some time and the guarantee ran out and then it wouldn't work when I went to use it. Contacted Vax Customer services and they said that as I hadn't been able to fix the handle properly it didn't therefore open a particular valve to allow the water to flow. It would have cost me nearly as much as I had paid for it in the first place to have it seen to. I advertised it a couple of times for just £10 and no interest but as it was free I had a reply in no time.
Now have to get rid of a Hoover vacuum which works perfectly but has a dodgy handle and another Vax that is a vacuum and carpet washer but has no filter bag.
Got to the point where trying to get a few bob for things is like flogging a dead horse!

Had to cancel my massage for tomorrow as I daren't try to drive out to Taverham.. which is about 7miles with my leg being a bit dicey plus after I have a massage and have to lie flat for a while it usually makes my back very bad anyway.

Decided to concentrate on keeping my calories to a limit of 1300 and sort of ignore carbs for the mo'... just not in the humour for too much... meals all over the place today.

Breakfast - Activia Yogurt 125g + Coffee + Cream 30ml
Lunch - Crumpets 2 + Cheese 40g + Coffee + Cream 70ml
Snacks - Banana + Digestive Biscuits 2
Dinner - Meat Balls 2 + Ba.Beans 100g
Supper - Activia Yogurt 125g
Extra - Milk 240ml

Cals 1359 Carbs 128 Fat 54 Protein 60 Sugars 62 Fibre 15

 

[moonwatcher]

Sounds like the beginning of a good clear out there Em. Those I know who have moved to sheltered housing have all said the same as your friends - that they enjoy the added sense of security and the company - when they are in the mood for company. When they are not, they can shut the doors on their bungalow and be in their own space.
Shame about cancelling the massage, but I think you are wise not to drive out there at the moment. Can she come to you, or can you find someone who does home visits?

 

[Emmaline]

Sounds like the beginning of a good clear out there Emm. Those I know who have moved to sheltered housing have all said the same as your friends - that they enjoy the added sense of security and the company - when they are in the mood for company. When they are not, they can shut the doors on their bungalow and be in their own space.
Shame about cancelling the massage, but I think you are wise not to drive out there at the moment. Can she come to you, or can you find someone who does home visits?

Yes, I certainly agree with you on the socialising which is something I could do with a lot more of.
If the therapist comes out to me I have nowhere for it to take place as my settee isn't suitable, my bed is covered with things I've dumped in there and the chair that I once tried is not comfortable for me... :sigh:

I am actually feeling very depressed again at the moment.. things getting on top of me again!
I don't want to move and I just wish I could get the help I want... I'll say no more and have an early night!

 

[moonwatcher]

Sorry to hear it is all getting you down Em. Maybe more help would be available now than was on offer before? If so, maybe you could look to staying.

Some therapists etc., who do home visits bring a portable massage couch, so you may be able to find someone.

 

[mo53]

Good morning Em. I hope you had a good sleep. Are you going to find out what there is on offer? Moving is difficult but the advantages of the move far outweigh that. I was really interested to read Cavegirls post. I hope she manages to find something her Mum agrees to. Have a good day.

 

[MinnieMel]

Morning Em,

Good on you for getting rid of the Vax. I just donate most things -- the rationale is that it is "costing" me to store it.

My MIL was loathe to move from the house where she'd raised her family and from where she could stand on the front porch and see the cemetery where she had buried her husband. She lived alone in that rural house quite isolated from the world. The houses in her tiny hamlet were fairly far apart and the people she had known for forty years had passed away or moved. She lived in Catskills Mountain where there is lots of snow, she didn't drive, there was no longer even a small news agent shop in her village, the church only had services in the summer (when the resorts - like in "Dirty Dancing" - were operating). For 12 years after my FIL passed away she lived like that. On her own, alone, being "checked on" by her daughter as she traveled to and from work -- getting rides to shop on Saturdays from a grandchild or daughter and rides to church from a friend of her daughter. She couldn't cut the lawn and it was about 1/2 acre. She had difficulty finding reliable help with her chores and her grandson and son-in-law would often come over and do her gardening and repairs on top of working all week and having their own homes and families to tend. It was very difficult as she hated being dependent on others.

She went to visit her oldest son, who had divorced after over 30 years of marriage and was alone and in his mid-50s. He had bought a home in an over 50s retirement community in central Florida in an area where he'd used to holiday with family. He was near to shops, church, the post office, doctor, etc. the community had a pool, a small fitness center, community hall, lots of clubs and activities, etc. My MIL loved it there. Whilst she was visiting she made friends, found a church she loved, enjoyed the freedom of being able to walk everywhere and be dependent on no one, and because her son's health wasn't good: she was "needed".

She went home and cleared her house of her "treasures", "sold" the house to her grand daughter, bought a home in the same community around the corner from her son, and hasn't looked back. That was over five years ago. She is thriving and at 88 does things like teach quilting, go on day trips with the Red Hat ladies, walks to church every Sunday, etc. And if she needs to get into Ocala to buy fabric or something (although, there is a fabric shop in her town), one of her "students" drives her and she will buy lunch. (We send her restaurant gift cards for Mother's Day, her Birthday, etc. just for this purpose).

Sure she misses her mountains and home, but it was lonely and too much work for one person. She goes back to visit but stays with her daughter. The granddaughter who lives in the "family" home has two sons and it's a noisy crowded home . . . but that makes her happy, because it is a family home.

Change can be good. She wishes she'd moved a lot sooner.

 

[Nelliduff]

Oh Emm - I hope you are feeling a bit better this morning. It really is a hard thing to decide on, and of course there are pros and cons on both staying an moving - I am a "home buddy" and get very attached so can understand why you wouldn't want to move, however you have said in the past that you are lonely some of the time, and if you could find a place that is right for you, with good friends, it would I am sure make you happy. You'll still have us wherever you go

 

[Emmaline]

Sorry to hear it is all getting you down Emm. Maybe more help would be available now than was on offer before? If so, maybe you could look to staying.

Some therapists etc., who do home visits bring a portable massage couch, so you may be able to find someone.

Thanks for your thoughts Mw.. but the help that I have is someone I pay for privately.. altho' I do get disability benefit so I consider that is what it is for anyway...as for applying the help is so minimal and I would come at the bottom of the list.

Trying to get my 70 something MIL into a sheltered home. She can't drive and lives a mile from town but has a big Sainsburys 10 mins walk around the corner from her so she can still get out.

She lives in a house which she has been in for 40 years.She said she doesn't want to move for another couple of years.We tried telling her that a small bungalow would be so much easier to maintain and with selling her house she would have some money for emergencies.She won't have it. She's fallen twice over the last couple of months and haven't been able to get hold of anyone for a couple of hours as she couldn't move.

Emm don't feel depressed. If you don't want to move then don't but just go and see what they can do for you.You never know they might find you a nice little bungalow with a bit of a garden for you to sit out in during summer.

Thanks for your post Mary.
The bungalow idea would be idyllic but not at all likely methinks! We do get very attached to our abodes do we not? It's very hard to make that final decision.
I had a good rant in my blog and the gist of it being more to do with my always being so much in pain and ill one way or another! :sigh:

Good morning Emm. I hope you had a good sleep. Are you going to find out what there is on offer? Moving is difficult but the advantages of the move far outweigh that. I was really interested to read Cavegirls post. I hope she manages to find something her Mum agrees to. Have a good day.

Really lovely to hear from you Mo..and I certainly agree that the benefits to me would far outweigh the hassle of the move.

Oh Emm - I hope you are feeling a bit better this morning. It really is a hard thing to decide on, and of course there are pros and cons on both staying an moving - I am a "home buddy" and get very attached so can understand why you wouldn't want to move, however you have said in the past that you are lonely some of the time, and if you could find a place that is right for you, with good friends, it would I am sure make you happy. You'll still have us wherever you go

Thanks Nelli..Not being able to just have a drive out will make me more isolated than I am already...so for that reason alone it would be better for me plus having more company would take my mind off a lot of my ailments as well.

A will tell you of a particular thing with me... I have a Paul McKenna's CD called "I Can Make You Thin" which is really good for helping in relaxing but I cannot play it very often as there is one sentence when he says.."Now think of someone who REALLY loves you" .. and I don't feel I have anyone that REALLY loves me! I know my D's are both talking to me now but as far as visits etc.they don't come into the equation.
I am crying now so I'll come back later.. sorry if this all sounds rather dramatic but I just needed to tell someone.

 

[MinnieMel]

Afternoon Em,

Your post made me feel very sad -- I'm sure your daughters do love you. Even if you don't always get along - there is love.

My oldest sister and I are "on the outs". It doesn't mean that we don't love each other . . . she just doesn't like me very much (or, possibly, at all). Never has - I am so used to being on her "Sh!t List" . . . that I just let it wash over me. I cannot control how she treats me, I can only control how I feel about it. No one understands entirely why she does this (I'm not the only person she "shuns" -- but I am the most frequent target of her ire). I know I deserve better treatment from her -- but that is how it is. I love her very much -- don't like the way she behaves much of time -- but you can't choose your family.

Email, text or write your daughters on a regular basis. Maybe every Sunday? Try to be as positive as possible -- focus on the good (sun shining, new blossoms, etc.). Perhaps, tell them you're thinking about moving and have made a pro-con list and would like to run it by them? (Be sure to make a pro/con list.) They might enjoy helping you think it through.

We care about you. (((((HUGS)))))

 

[mo53]

MInnie Mel you have written two amazing posts to Em today. The first earlier today had me absolutely hooked and I was just bowled over with how the lady ended up happily liing with her son. This latest one you have put into words such difficult sentiments. I totally agreebwith your thoughts but I could not express them in words myself.
Em I was nearly crying with yu when I reahed the end of your post. I hope you are feeling a little better now. I think at present you seem completely overwhelmed with events and exhausted. I hope you investigate the possibility of a move as it may be just what you need.nThinking of you 'Mo x