Chelsea Lou - The Ventura adventure, not a sinking ship!

[Chelsea Lou]

I'm sure you will hun, you have lost a lot of weight and not far from target now. Well done for that, as Beck says, give yourself a lot of credit, that's one hell of an achievement.

We all seem to be into Beck on here, plus there is a discuss Beck thread elsewhere on minis. It would be great if we could all get the head stuff right, together and continue to support each other like we are doing now past the dieting phase of our lives. I started dieting 30 years ago weighing 9.5 stones How ridiculous and how dangerous that has turned out to be xxxxx

Good luck xxx

 

[Surfhunny]

I know it's madness isn't it? I did gymnastics until I was 18 and I started dieting at 16 because I thought I was too fat for gymnastics. I was 9st I think I'd look dead at 9st now, I'm the same height as I was then too. Crazy!!!

I don't know what I'd have done without this site though, it's helped me so much! Xx

 

[Chelsea Lou]

I know it's madness isn't it? I did gymnastics until I was 18 and I started dieting at 16 because I thought I was too fat for gymnastics. I was 9st I think I'd look dead at 9st now, I'm the same height as I was then too. Crazy!!!

I don't know what I'd have done without this site though, it's helped me so much! Xx

OMG SH, at 5'7" and 9 stones you must have been underweight. You are right, utter madness. This site is great. The support is absolutely phenomenal and I love it. I'm not a one for going and sitting in a church hall in a circle like WW, SW and the like. To have to talk to a group of strangers, having them all look at me while I introduce myself is just not me. So this is perfect for me. I love keeping track of everyone and reading their story.

 

[Chelsea Lou]

I lied when I said that the toe-rag wouldn't stop me from doing what I'm doing. At 8pm, after several hours of sabotaging thoughts, I got out of my jim-jams, walked down to the Co-op and bought a Twirl and a bar of plain chocolate. I ate the Twirl on the short walk home. If I wasn't eating it indoors then it didnt really count right? I ate half of the bar of dark choc when I got in and felt sick, ashamed and angry that all the upset today had got the better of me. The rest I smashed up and threw in the bin.

I know that if I treat this as a one-off then no harm will be done. No need to panic about this.

Tomorrow is a new day ...

 

[Katycakes]

Oh Chels, big hug.

Breathe, flick, CREDIT for chucking the choc away. You will be fine, don't let this be any more than it is, a tiny blip triggered by a man with tiny mind, heart & possibly other bits too... not worth your time or your energy in any way.

I suppose the biggest lesson to learn is that eating chocolate doesn't make you feel better in the long run. (I am still getting my head round this, without a huge amount of progress when putting it into practice!)

You have come too far to let this unravel things. Bed, with coffee & DVD... tomorrow is hair-day and those gorgeous blonde and caramel highlights to look forward to! (It sounds amazing... and think of that cruise too!)

Wagons roll!

xxx

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Thank you Katy. You are right, I have come too far to let this unravel now and I just couldn't shut up the voice telling me to go to the shops. I purposely put on my jimjams as soon as I got in from work to stop me from going out again as Dick was already nagging away at me. It didn't make me feel better but I am not feeling bad about it either because that is too destructive and if I get on that particular train then I won't get off for miles and miles.

It is what it is........it will knock me a day out of schedule.........that's all.

Thank you for your support...........and you are probaby right about him being small in other areas xx

 

[Katycakes]

Just popping in to say hope your Saturday is a good one... let us know how those blonde & caramel highlights go!

xxx

 

[LellyCD]

Morning Chels, little tiny moment hun....well done for being brave and strong and chucking it away.....huge credit for that hun, you're learning so much. Today is another day towards the goal, you just paused but then stepped over the hump enjoy your trip to hairdressers, you deserve it!
xxx

 

[Bess]

I'm not a one for going and sitting in a church hall in a circle like WW, SW and the like. To have to talk to a group of strangers, having them all look at me while I introduce myself is just not me.

Oh heck, me neither. Will I have to talk to strangers? Maybe I'll join SW online then instead, I don't remember that bit from last time. Sounds horrid. Ugh.

The single choc slip won't matter Chels, isn't it funny though what makes us turn to the wretched stuff? I'm glad that it's going to be illegal soon, what kind of a person can do work that's so unscrupulous though?

 

[Katycakes]

You don't have to talk to strangers Bess... try it and see what you think, give it three goes to get a proper idea... I find the online things too easy to ignore, minis is the only online thing that has ever worked for me. I am so not a sitting in a circle in church hall person, but i did it with SW and lost a good bit of weight. Try it.

@ Chels... HAIR PICS please!!!

xxx

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Days 34/35.. total write-off

I am very disappointed in myself and how I've handled things. I thought I was being so strong all these weeks. I had my hair done in the morning but by the time I got back home yesterday afternoon, armed with a newspaper and a packet of chocolate digestives, all hope was lost. I surfaced 2/3rds of the way through the biscuits :cry:and threw the rest of them in the bin, to join the chocolate from Friday.

I promised myself a quiet night in, re-focus and put it all behind me. Two guys (father and son) were coming by at 5pm to pick up the television I had sold on ebay. They duly arrived, paid the money and spent 15 minutes deciding how they were going to get it down two flights of stairs and into the car. Anyway, they were wheeling the television down the hall towards the opened front door, I couldnt get past it so ended up out on the landing with the men coming up behind me and as they passed the front door...........slam!! I am outside, nothing on my feet, locked out. To be fair, they were really apologetic and sweet. I used the lad's phone to call my daughter (I took the precaution of giving them a spare key with the last lot of trouble I'd had a couple of weeks ago). Her FIL took 20 minutes to get to me with the key and let me in. The two guys stayed with me until Bob arrived. I just lost it. I told Bob I was coming back with him and I was going to have a drink. So I did. 3/4 of a bottle of wine, chicken tikka (starter) and a tiny bit of salad.

Now all the doubts are creeping in about whether or not I can do this. Its like one tiny weeny crack and then WHAM............the bloody floodgates have burst wide open. I feel very upset, angry, a failure. 48 hours ago I felt terrific, positive, happy and I was so 'doing it'.
I am a bit scared, to be honest, that I can't get back to 48 hours ago. I really need to and want to so much.

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Chels, HANG ON... what did you say to me a few days ago when this happened to me? You stopped the wagon and hauled me back up and told me to cut the panic and the fear and the self-pity at 'blowing' it all. And I did, and I am fine, and you will be too, I PROMISE.

I cannot explain why, I was anxious about you all yesterday, almost sent a PM last night and then stopped myself as I imagined you'd think I was silly for worrying when you were just having a busy Saturday with hair app and allsorts of other stuff. I wish I had now. (Bess had a sort of instinct to worry when I went off rails, so maybe it's that we pick up little clues & worry because we know how we might react ourselves...)

OK, you've had an off-plan day, two at most. I had three, and two earlier on in journey, and I am still here. Why? Because of you and the other minis people who were there to catch me when I fell. If you think that what you ate yesterday was bad, let me just tell you I can beat it, I managed to cram in 2000 cals before 8am on Tuesday. It was binge stuff, pure and simple, major self-destruct. I didn't post on here about what I ate because I didn't want it to upset other people, and also because I was ashamed. And I stopped and by the end of that day I was in a totally different headspace.

The real test Chels is whether you can find the courage to go on with this. I think you can. I think sometimes the falls make us stronger. And I know you are a very strong woman, so BELIEVE me when I say that... you CAN do it. Don't try to go back to 48 hours ago. Go forward. You've faltered, OK. Now get up and have your shakes and carry on, THAT is the real test and the real achievement and you are going to do it. Post as often as you want or message because I am here all day, I will listen. If I were a bit nearer I would come and tell you off for being so down on yourself.

Get that Beck book out and read through it (I wouldn't pick mine up while off-plan earlier this week - please, be smarter than I was!). Read the bit about getting back on track after a mistake. Because a mistake is all this was, a minor derailment, not the end of the line.

Keep posting, don't hide, and get this in perspective... it's going to be fine.

xxx

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Chels, HANG ON... what did you say to me a few days ago when this happened to me? You stopped the wagon and hauled me back up and told me to cut the panic and the fear and the self-pity at 'blowing' it all. And I did, and I am fine, and you will be too, I PROMISE.

I'm hanging on KC, by the skin of my teeth but hanging on all the same

I cannot explain why, I was anxious about you all yesterday, almost sent a PM last night and then stopped myself as I imagined you'd think I was silly for worrying when you were just having a busy Saturday with hair app and allsorts of other stuff. I wish I had now. (Bess had a sort of instinct to worry when I went off rails, so maybe it's that we pick up little clues & worry because we know how we might react ourselves...)
Strange, but when any one of us goes quiet, we all know the reason why and we all start to worry about it. Its lovely to know that we are all here for each other.
OK, you've had an off-plan day, two at most. I had three, and two earlier on in journey, and I am still here. Why? Because of you and the other minis people who were there to catch me when I fell. If you think that what you ate yesterday was bad, let me just tell you I can beat it, I managed to cram in 2000 cals before 8am on Tuesday. It was binge stuff, pure and simple, major self-destruct. I didn't post on here about what I ate because I didn't want it to upset other people, and also because I was ashamed. And I stopped and by the end of that day I was in a totally different headspace.
Sorry KC but............bloody hell!!!!!!!!!! You poor thing, you must have been beside yourself. It's like a red mist that comes down. Well done for managing to pull yourself out of it. Big credits to you for that.
The real test Chels is whether you can find the courage to go on with this. I think you can. I think sometimes the falls make us stronger. And I know you are a very strong woman, so BELIEVE me when I say that... you CAN do it. Don't try to go back to 48 hours ago. Go forward. You've faltered, OK. Now get up and have your shakes and carry on, THAT is the real test and the real achievement and you are going to do it. Post as often as you want or message because I am here all day, I will listen. If I were a bit nearer I would come and tell you off for being so down on yourself.
Lol, *virtual smacked botty alert*
Get that Beck book out and read through it (I wouldn't pick mine up while off-plan earlier this week - please, be smarter than I was!). Read the bit about getting back on track after a mistake. Because a mistake is all this was, a minor derailment, not the end of the line.

Keep posting, don't hide, and get this in perspective... it's going to be fine.

xxx

A bit of perspective is needed. You're right. I will get Beck out and have a good read. Get my cards out and write some more. I've been slacking off with this lately. I felt so strong, to the point where I almost felt I had got it all sussed and didn't need to read cards/read Beck etc etc.

My sister and niece are coming over this afternoon and going home tomorrow morning, so that will be good. Not give me enough time to sit here brooding about it all. It happened...end of.

Thank you so much for your wisdom and support xxxx

 

[Katycakes]

:hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99:

enjoy your afternoon and evening... and keep hanging on.

xxx

 

[MinnieMel]

Hang in There, Baby!

Hi Chels,

Oh NO... you're human! You had a bad (very bad) couple of days and needed comfort. You chose your tried and true method -- although, we all are working finding how to "comfort" ourselves without "food/drink, etc." -- we have not all gotten there, yet. But, we're working on it!!! And won't quit, because we know we're making progress.

So, it is so not the end of the world -- and it is very easy to understand why you reacted the way you did (it helped in the past). And, maybe it was a bit therapeutic. You have been "so good for so long" you probably just needed to "break free" a bit.

I thought giving away your "reward" (i.e. the biscuits the "higher up" gave you as a gesture of appreciation) without having just one was kind of harsh... unless they were something you did not care for in the first place.

In the past (when on SB) I was given a box of my favourite chocolates by someone who was not trying to sabotage me, they just did not realise I was dieting. And, rather than saving them until I wasn't dieting, giving them ALL away (then feeling deprived), or devouring them all myself (as I might have in the past): I opened them and had one, asked the giver could I share, and then I did. I totally enjoyed my "one" -- and really enjoyed sharing with my co-workers.

We all need to learn portion control, moderation, etc. So, buying the biscuits was okay -- and having one of two would have been fine. Having one drink (esp. a vodka/tonic or dry white wine) would probably be okay -- and that is what we all need to learn.

So, you went a little overboard THIS time. I am betting you won't the next.

And... it is not big deal. You are not going to regain everything you have lost with one binge session; you are going to continue to lose if you control your calories and exercise (and drink your water); and in a few days you can be back in ketosis (if that is what you want) -- or using a different weight loss plan, if CD has lost its charms.

As long as we learn from our "mistakes" then it is all a part of the process.

I think you are old enough to remember the cute kitty poster (the one where he is hanging on a tree branch?)...

Hang in There, Baby!

MM

 

[MinnieMel]

 

[MinnieMel]

I made this my avatar but it was too small to read! LOL

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Thanks Mel, I love the cartoon and this 'baby' is hanging in there.............just. I've had a shake and a small piece of chicken so far today and it is now 13:35. I get weighed on Tuesday and might ask if I can move up to 810 this week instead of waiting until 1st March. Perhaps you are right about SS+ 100% losing its charms.

Thanks for stopping by and giving me support and encouragement, and the little cat xx

 

[Katycakes]

Think 810 is a very good idea Chels. If you choose, you can always switch down again, but for me it is a better place to be than SS.

xxx

 

[MinnieMel]

Hi Chels,

You are welcomed. Not anything you haven't done for many others on the forum. You are the model of good support.

I "only" SS'd for three weeks and realised that if the losses were pretty much the same on 810 as SS... then why wasn't I working on "control". I have already proven I could SS successfully (I did LL SS to goal in 2008). What I haven't done is learned how to manage my food. So, I am learning that now.

Soon, you and I will be those skinny wenches who can order a dessert and coffee (two coffees and one dessrt) and then share and leave some on the plate!!! lol

Oh and don't "ASK" your CDC -- tell her what you are going to do. She works for you!!! If she doesn't like it, then you can find another CDC. But, I am sure she'll support you: it is in her best interest to do so.

MM

P.S. Bad news. David Cassidy (age 60!) was just convicted of DUI in Florida.