finally taking control of my body

[elm]

*Hugs*

BUT...and stick with me here. Some of the things you've listed you can change. YOU CAN LOSE WEIGHT, and you were doing it well before 'life' happened.
Is there any way you can up security at your house? Maybe call a local police station for info or to get advice...I had my house broken into years ago and i felt violated. Ever since then I err on the paranoid side of security but it means I can sleep at night. If you can, please go and speak to a doctor and get something to help you relax and get back into a 'normal' sleep habit, it will help your mental health, as well as help you to focus on YOU, your health and your employment status.

There are plenty of ways to lose weight without spending a penny - don't let it beat you. Look up the symptoms of depression - you sound in a similar position to me a few years back, and I needed medication to help me find my way again, although it might not be necessary for you.
I don't really know what else to say, apart from you can do this. Don't knock yourself as you have done so well...part of weight loss is learning how to deal with emotions and overcome them without using food.

Hope you are OK and please talk to people where possible, even if it is a stranger in another continent You are never alone in this world, only if you chose to be. x

Thank you so much for this. I appreciate you being there for me!

 

[elm]

Went bike riding. Stopped for about 5 minutes to look at the view with my sister. I almost fell off a 20 feet cliff. Almost as in if I didn't grab on to that pole, I would've died. Hahaha. But still had fun.

Day 1 is complete.

I've been looking in surgery for when I lose all the weight and looks like I should save up $20,000.00 and it will be very painful because the more you lose, the more painful. Not excited about that. But I'm tired of looking like this.

 

[elm]

My 95 calories salad at 1:17AM haha.

 

[Mandlegrot]

You really won't be in too much pain if you go to a decent doctor as they will review your pain medication. I find that the anticipation is often worse than the pain itself. Don't worry about that yet, you have a path ahead of you now to work towards your goal

you feeling any better? Good to hear you are back on track with diet and exercise x

 

[elm]

You really won't be in too much pain if you go to a decent doctor as they will review your pain medication. I find that the anticipation is often worse than the pain itself. Don't worry about that yet, you have a path ahead of you now to work towards your goal

you feeling any better? Good to hear you are back on track with diet and exercise x

My mom has depression and it runs in the family. But I'm very out going and happy most of the time. My brother, sister, and dad went to Bosnia for 31 days and I was with my mom 24/7 and her depression was getting to me because I was alone with her. But now the rest of my family is back, everything is a lot better.

 

[elm]

331 calories for my salad. Could've been less calories but I want to enjoy my food so it's okay

 

[Emmaline]

Hi Elm, Thanks for popping in to my diary... lovely to hear from you.
I suffer from depressions and have done for most of my life altho' now I know how to control it most of the time.
Do hope you are feeling a lot better now your family are back and going for a good cycle out is the best thing to rev your system up.
Take care.. :bighug:

 

[elm]

I'm trying to fix my sleep schedule so I don't crave food at 3:08AM...like right now

 

[Emmaline]

I'm trying to fix my sleep schedule so I don't crave food at 3:08AM...like right now

Hope you managed to stall the cravings Elm... really horrible that!
I'm often awake at that time in fact I went to bed about 11pm last night and was up again at 1am and still wide awake. At least I don't have to worry about going to work or looking after a family so I can doze off any time of the day (and usually do!..lol!)

 

[elm]

Yesterday was the first day of Bijram. It's 3 days long holiday for Muslims. Though I don't believe in religion anymore, they're still my family and I respect their faith. Yesterday we went to a family dinner and it was so much fun.

My aunt has stage 3 of lung cancer and its been 10 months and she's been doing good. We looked online and found a lung cancer walk in September. I'm the captain of our team and a bunch of us are signing up.

It was a very hard day yesterday. My grandparents have been together for 62 years. I called my grandpa yesterday and it was hard hearing his voice. I miss him so much. I cried a lot yesterday morning.

This is my Facebook status from yesterday. I blacked out my last name and another name that was showing...

 

[elm]

5:55 in the morning. I can't go back to sleep. I was too lazy to take the scale to the bathroom and weigh myself in there where I usually do it so I just took the picture in the kitchen where the scale is put to the side and forgot to turn on the lights which is ok since the numbers are in red.

But, I lost 2.4 lbs which I didn't expect considering the 3 day holiday and all the food but I'll take it and be happy.

I hope you lurkers have a beautiful day!

 

[elm]

297 calories for my salad. The oil took up a lot of calories but thanks ok. It's so yummy!

 

[elm]

3:01am and I can't sleep....again.

 

[elm]

21 weeks until 2014. I haven't set a goal. But now that I'm thinking about it;

Week 1: 2.4lbs
Week 2:
Week 3:
Week 4:
Week 5:
Week 6:
Week 7:
Week 8:
Week 9:
Week 10:
Week 11:
Week 12:
Week 13:
Week 14:
Week 15:
Week 16:
Week 17:
Week 18:
Week 19:
Week 20:
Week 21:
Week 22:

Goal is to lose 66lbs by December 31, 2013 so I should weight around 234.6lbs

 

[elm]

Main reason why I love this site...people from different counties talk very differently and it leaves me confused and sometimes I laugh because its cute. Not sure how to explain it.

Example someone said "sorry if I come across as thick but..." And they asked their question.

So does that mean sorry if they come across as clueless? Ignorant? I don't know but it was cute haha.

There's many more examples that I can't think of but I like learning new things. Like when I joined years ago, I didn't know what stones where or how much it was. (Thanks google) but we don't get taught that in America. Still, it's nice learning about different countries.

 

[Mandlegrot]

Yeah I've had some funny 'mistranslations' happen!!

Sorry if this sounds thick but = someone who is a little cautious to ask perhaps a pretty obvious or seemingly basic question and apologising for it beforehand. Even though most of the time its a perfectly legitimate question and one that many others need an answer to thick = silly/stupid etc in UK

 

[elm]

Yeah I've had some funny 'mistranslations' happen!!

Sorry if this sounds thick but = someone who is a little cautious to ask perhaps a pretty obvious or seemingly basic question and apologising for it beforehand. Even though most of the time its a perfectly legitimate question and one that many others need an answer to thick = silly/stupid etc in UK

Awesome! Thank you!!!

 

[elm]

$175.64 at the vet today. He's on Clavamox for 10 days. Twice daily every 12 hours. Tuesday he's having his surgery. They estimate $275.10-381.60 and that's without some pain pills but if he needs it, they add that. Also doesn't include dental extraction routine which can be $20-$75 per tooth.

Called VIP today for insurance. $26.50 a month for the best one. But I have to read everything and make sure it fits my dogs needs.

Sigh.

-------

I ended up going to the movie theater by myself for the first time. R.I.P.D. was a very good movie.

 

[elm]

don't read if you're eating....


I strongly dislike tea. I like peppermint tea. And it makes me go to the bathroom a lot.

 

[elm]

"Can I be cheeky and ask...."


No idea what that sentence means but I like it so much!