Goldilukes Diary of a food zombie

[Goldilukes]

Morning everyone, close your eyes.......I'm 10.2.8......... Those pesky ounces are what I call seeing the damage between pounds happening. It's my own fault of course because yesterday I ate what I wanted....well almost. I didn't eat a Krispy Kreme or cadburys bar but I reckon I easily ate the equivalent in carbs from fruit, cheese, curry and bread....knock knock goes my head.

i got to 10.1.8 the other day and at least one thing is or sure, my brain is a conniving beast at work making me eat and feel hungry all blummin day, well I think it's hunger, I have that weird empty feeling and food consumes my thoughts.

i keep asking myself when am I going to take this seriously? Do i enjoy looking this way? What the hell is wrong with me? I need to get a blummin grip quick or I will be the same weight by December 8th my birthday and I know I feel like jumping off a cliff if I waste all those months just playing eating games.

Anywhoo, yesterdays menu, brace yourselves and do not copy.
B 2 cream coffees.
L cup full lettuce, cup full spinach, 25g Stilton, 7 dried apricots, 7 cranberries, 25g pineapple cheese spread asda, 35g cheese and onion filler, 1 pepperami.
D curry made with, garlic, onion, peppers, mushrooms, Diablo chilli, tin toms and garlic, coconut cream, mixed curry spices. 45g wholegrain rice.
s 2 slices wheatgerm bread with 30g sweet chilli cheese spread asda.
s 4 squares Lindt 85% dark choc.
1 glass coke zero.
water 3 litres.
3 more cream coffees.

by heck I'm knackered just typing that out. Oh and no park for a few days now but.....there is still time.
nespressos should be here today or tomorrow looking forward to that and fudges baby Thornton is starting to open her peepers il take a picture.

Right toot toot am oot!, have a great day everyone!

 

[teeney]

Morning everyone, close your eyes.......I'm 10.2.8......... Those pesky ounces are what I call seeing the damage between pounds happening. It's my own fault of course because yesterday I ate what I wanted....well almost. I didn't eat a Krispy Kreme or cadburys bar but I reckon I easily ate the equivalent in carbs from fruit, cheese, curry and bread....knock knock goes my head.

i got to 10.1.8 the other day and at least one thing is or sure, my brain is a conniving beast at work making me eat and feel hungry all blummin day, well I think it's hunger, I have that weird empty feeling and food consumes my thoughts.

i keep asking myself when am I going to take this seriously? Do i enjoy looking this way? What the hell is wrong with me? I need to get a blummin grip quick or I will be the same weight by December 8th my birthday and I know I feel like jumping off a cliff if I waste all those months just playing eating games.

Anywhoo, yesterdays menu, brace yourselves and do not copy.
B 2 cream coffees.
L cup full lettuce, cup full spinach, 25g Stilton, 7 dried apricots, 7 cranberries, 25g pineapple cheese spread asda, 35g cheese and onion filler, 1 pepperami.
D curry made with, garlic, onion, peppers, mushrooms, Diablo chilli, tin toms and garlic, coconut cream, mixed curry spices. 45g wholegrain rice.
s 2 slices wheatgerm bread with 30g sweet chilli cheese spread asda.
s 4 squares Lindt 85% dark choc.
1 glass coke zero.
water 3 litres.
3 more cream coffees.

by heck I'm knackered just typing that out. Oh and no park for a few days now but.....there is still time.
nespressos should be here today or tomorrow looking forward to that and fudges baby Thornton is starting to open her peepers il take a picture.

Right toot toot am oot!, have a great day everyone!

Step away from the dried apricots :-( dried fruit is the devil incarnated!

 

[RolyPoly87]

Morning Becka, thanks so much for reading my diary and for the lovely supportive comments. It's been. Rollercoaster of emotions and scale movements and I feel I am just coasting at the moment because although I have lost 2-1/2 stone, I'm not budging, I'm playing with the same pound over and over each month, going back and forth and making no real progress. Nightmare but if I'm honest I didn't do strict induction for long enough and have been enjoying bread, fruit and cheese too much

il check your diary out, I've heard of exante but never tried it, is it any good?

hope you have a lovely day!

Morning Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Like you say...you know where you are slipping (bread, fruit and cheese). It would be more worrying to have a stall when you are doing everything by the book because then you have nowhere to go. You have bits of your diet you can change up/cut out to hopefully get past 10 1, 10 2.

I'd like to remind you of that old saying "nothing tastes as good as thin feels". Do you really enjoy eating bread, fruit and too much cheese more than the feeling of having bigger losses. I believe if you were to go clean and green even just for a couple of weeks, it would really kick start your losses again.

You say you are feeling hungry - it may be true hunger because you are eating too many carbs. You may well be out of ketosis. There is a post near the start of your diary where you are talking about not craving anything sugary - Here it is...

"I have been clean and green for a while now but I got caught out on the run last week and grabbed an atkins bar. Before eating it I had gotten rid of my carb/sugar cravings (yes I know..sounds amazing) but true and now I find I am craving sugars again...Not happy plus this is what made me fluctuate on the scales from 10.6 to 10.8 and not be able to get back down. So knocked the bars on the head and Im struggling the cravings out but its hard."

I believe the more sugar/carbs you eat...the more you crave them and it is a viscous circle.

Clean and green is the way forward. It puts you into ketosis - removes any carb cravings and stops you feeling hungry. You CAN get back there very quickly and fairly easily. You just need to re assess where you are at and take control. There are many atkins friendly foods which are delicious - so you may lose the bread, fruit and cheese but welcome many more yummy foods. Also as a previous poster points out - you need to up your veg intake. Think half of each meal should be veg/salad or it may be a third? I'd like to see you posting pics of your meals again.

Come on Lauren you can do it. Re focus, take control and wave goodbye to the 10 stones.

:bighug:
As for Exante...it is pretty much a cheaper version of the Cambridge diet. I'm only a week in and failed miserably already!

Oh and also - for the 'park' issue, have you tried senna? From memory I believe it may be natural? But don't quote me on that.

Have a great day xxx

 

[ladyfelsham]

Clean and green is the way forward. It puts you into ketosis... There are many atkins friendly foods which are delicious - so you may lose the bread, fruit and cheese but welcome many more yummy foods. Also as a previous poster points out - you need to up your veg intake.

Come on Lauren you can do it. Re focus, take control and wave goodbye to the 10 stones.

:bighug:

Wow Roly - excellent post - and I'm borrowing the "re-focus, you can do it" hug too

 

[Rindaloo]

I got notification of a photo of a puppy. Did you hear the stampede as I rushed to see it!! Was dismayed to see that the mother has it hanging from the ceiling.

But so cuuute!

 

[moonwatcher]

Susie I agree, I need to ditch the bread and will. No more. I ate some yesterday but today will behave. How are you?

Moonwatcher, why you hiding behind a sofa? You need to hide completely I'm sick of veg...roflma but....you are right and I will get more down my neck. How are you?

Lol! I can see it now, as Lauren beats me to a pulp with a stick of celery, and I'm shouting 'No, don't hit me! Eat it instead!'

 

[CornishTT]

HUGS, but try to refocus and get back on the wagon if you want to achieve the weightloss by your birthday.

Good luck, we've all been in that headspace and are behind you all the way!! You can do it! xx

 

[coffeelover]

Afternoon Lauren, We're in the same 10.2 boat. I'm re thinking my goal date, as I go on holiday in less than 2 weeks. So, 9 something by Christmas!

I'm back to induction and maybe going to try dukan after my holiday. x

Lol @ Lynne with the pup on the ceiling.

 

[Goldilukes]

Morning everyone,

thanks so much roly for that huge response and advice post. You are absolutely right and I thank you for taking the time to recite my diary to me because I've been there before and can do it.

Lynne, my photos are ridiculous...they always upload upside down??? Weird.

atkins ftw thank you. I am going to try my hardest to get there in time for my birthday

tee, fruit is lush though and I've been enjoying the sweetness to it. Never used to eat fruit before Atkins lol.

moonwatcher, I hate celery so no you can eat it

Susie, thank you

Val, meh....10.2 is not as exciting looking as 9 something is it? Which do you enjoy most, Atkins or dukan?

 

[teeney]

Morning everyone,

thanks so much roly for that huge response and advice post. You are absolutely right and I thank you for taking the time to recite my diary to me because I've been there before and can do it.

Lynne, my photos are ridiculous...they always upload upside down??? Weird.

atkins ftw thank you. I am going to try my hardest to get there in time for my birthday

tee, fruit is lush though and I've been enjoying the sweetness to it. Never used to eat fruit before Atkins lol.

moonwatcher, I hate celery so no you can eat it

Susie, thank you

Val, meh....10.2 is not as exciting looking as 9 something is it? Which do you enjoy most, Atkins or dukan?

Have 'real' fruit then, get on OWL and have all the berries x

 

[Goldilukes]

Morning everyone, today I'm 10.2.4 very surprised since no park in 4 days plus my diet yesterday was atrocious!!!,

we had pups born yesterday and its always stressful at times like this. 2 black boys and an orange girl, will post pics once I can see them, hidden under mam at the moment

i have a bit of a problem and don't know where to start..... I think I'm suffering mild depression. I have had bouts of it throughout my life and usually get on top of it but this time I feel like I'm not getting on top of things and things spiral out of control. It's been about a month now and it's been slowly brewing. I hate myself sometime because I can't get out my own way. I don't want to go on any medication so deal with it as best I can by myself. I think for me it will always be with me, I am made that way and tablets will only mask the problem so I go raw until it passes.

ive also become lazy in my diet because of this, my inspiration and motivation is fading but I don't want to go back to how I was so there is still part of me driving forward. I'm usually cooking 2 meals a day for us all, except for breakfast which I tell them to sort themselves, oh old enough and son 15. Son has been with friends so I've not had to cook or worry about him for a few weeks. He's having a great time and bless him texts me every day to check I'm ok

i don't want you all to worry or wonder what to say, I just wanted to tell someone because it can be a lonely thing sometimes.

yesterday I ate 4 slices wholemeal bread with cheese spreads, 3 pepperamis, Stilton, cranberries, 4 nurofen, 2 costa coffees and a couple of homemade soya ones, 3 litres water, 50ml natural yoghurt. I'd have ate more bread but oh had finished it off with yesterdays left over curry I made. It was a busy, stressful, snack fuelled day and I know exactly what you all will be thinking but I've always promised to be honest to myself and others since starting the diet because it was lack of honesty with myself last time which got me obese in the first place.

on a lighter note, my nespresso hopefully will arrive today and the sun is looking promising compared to heavy rain and grey skies yesterday, hope you all have a lovely day!

 

[teeney]

Hugs, it's not nice feeling so low :-( since our move iv felt down and lonely, taking it all out in the kids. I know what you mean about not wanting to take meds, advice I was given was fresh air and exercise. Hmmm a start I guess.

Come join me on mean and green x

 

[ladyfelsham]

i don't want you all to worry or wonder what to say, I just wanted to tell someone because it can be a lonely thing sometimes.

And this is exactly the place to do that, lovely xxx I have a similar thing and I also pushed back on the thought of a shrink or medication - hey I'm the upbeat person, the fat funny girl, I don't need that stuff, I can cope (yeah right, instead I'll drink like a fish and eat every sausage roll in London...). I know all the techniques for trying to bring myself out of it, as well as the excuses I make for not trying to - nice long walks (too lazy), cooking (good but then I eat it all), pampering sessions (can't be a*sed).

But I've made quite a few changes - diet and lifestyle, and planning for my future - and they are really improving my sense of contentment

Great news on the pups, can't wait to see the pics xxx

 

[Dietkitty]

You'd be surprised at how many of us here know exactly how you feel. I took meds about 7 years ago and they did help but as soon as my circumstances changed I stopped them. The useful thing is that I now recognise when that dark hole appears and rather than falling in I analyse why - usually to death, late at night, in the middle of the night or any other inappropriate time lol.
I have devised a little exercise where I put the problems in a box, seal the lid with tape, sometimes add a little bow (I'm such a girly girl lol) and shove it in a pile in the corner of the room. All of this is done in my mind - otherwise I'd have quite a pile of boxes in that corner by now The other day I imagined stamping on one of them and crushing it along with it's contents, which was really therapeutic, then put it in another box and sealed it up. Sounds nuts but it works for me and a friend that I passed it on to a couple of years ago.
On a lighter note can't wait to see the new puppies if you can get them out from under Mum

 

[Busybusy]

Hi Lauren,

Like the others say your very much not alone. It's surprising even in this day and age if your feeling low your expected to suck it up and get on with it because your a woman. Or you feel too afraid of seeking help incase of med addictions or being given THE label.

Girls have given some brill coping mechanisms, my favourite is exercise!!! I know what a surprise! What a lovely young man for phoning you to check your ok x.

Focus on the little ones for now hun xx.http://www.womensaid.org.uk/azrefug...800060002&region=152&x=11&y=3Lots a hugs xx.

 

[Busybusy]

Wth! Didn't mean to post the URL. This stupid app always plays me up. That's for my purpose, please ignore.

 

[coffeelover]

I think a lot of us can relate to what your feeling Lauren, it's just some can hide it better than others. I have a friend that uses jam jars like Lisa uses boxes.

I know what you mean about meds, although they really can help sometimes.

Can wait to see the pups. x hugs.

 

[CornishTT]

^^what they said, a lot of us can relate. I had post natal depression both times and have suffered on and off with depression since I was 16.

My mum suggested B vitamins and magnesium (usually come together now as mag helps B absorption) and I really found it helped 'regulate' my moods and 'boost morale' (if that's even possible, lol).

Well done tho for speaking up, most of us just leave it and get no where or no better. I hope you get well soon, ever tried counselling?

I love the idea of putting your worries in a box, jam jar, whatever, gives substances and validity to problems that we can throw away/crush/deal with.

*hugs*

 

[Goldilukes]

Thank you tee, susie, Lisa, val, busy and Atkins. I mean it, just trying to catch up now on my diary and others this morning.
i didn't come on here yesterday as I didn't have a chance, I slept in watching Lewis all night on catch up.

i really want to think you all for the advice you have given, the boxes and jars are a great idea and maybe would work for me because I have an all or nothing type of personality.
seems like a lot of us have been in the same boat do you think it all could be linked with being overweight-dieting and sometimes failing which compounds our feeling of failure then once something else goes wrong in life that's when we feel completely lost and out of control? Just a thought but probably barking up the wrong tree.

i weigh 10.4.4 today, massively up from yesterday which was 10.2.4

i ate loads yesterday, too much fruit cheese, 3 slices m&s wheatgerm bread, 2 tbs mashed potato, ox tongue, cabbage, chicken breast, sweet chilli Philly, 2 squares 85% dark choc, 2 sausage and 3 slices bacon.
around 10 coffees all nespressos and 3 litres water.

i certainly won't be in ketosis any more so need to go back to induction foods to bring it All back before its too late.

Not going to dwell too much as it won't help me right now and could work in reverse so onwards and upwards.

Right, off to catch up on all your diaries now, hope you are all well?

 

[ladyfelsham]

do you think it all could be linked with being overweight-dieting and sometimes failing which compounds our feeling of failure then once something else goes wrong in life that's when we feel completely lost and out of control?

Oh my goodness, Lauren, yes, I'm sure of it! When life goes a bit t*ts up, eating is sometimes the only thing left that we can control.

I can comfort eat for England when things are going badly, or when I'm tired...so success in changing your way of eating has to include working towards making your whole life better. I guess that's why exercise is so good for you because the endorphins make you feel much more upbeat.

I think going back to induction sounds like a plan - you can still eat loads but maybe give the fruit cheese and bread/potatoes a miss