The boys did stay Iris but they go to bed at 7.30 & 8pm so they're very good!
I'm back on work now so I hope that WILL help sort me out. 
I think what started me off was the fact that I got on the scales yesterday morning fully expecting to be a couple of lbs lighter than last week because I'd got weighed at such a silly time last week AND because I'd jumped on on Monday night and, allowing for clothes and time of day, that should have been the case. In fact I was a measly 0.2lbs less. I was disgusted and disappointed.
I omitted to mention in my post last night that I had a McDonald's fillet o'fish and half a small fries at lunchtime.
I also saw fit not to confess to not being bothered to cook myself something for tea last night. (The boys eat too early for me and DH had to go out) so I made 2 pieces of toast, put cheese & branston on one and peanut butter on the other - which incidentally was a doorstep of a crust.
I also didn't tell you all, that - as DH rushed out to go for his train I shouted after him "If you pass any chocolate while you're out bring me some!" ... When I heard him come in a couple of hours later I heard the encouraging (!?) rustle of a carrier bag. He came in and said "were you serious about the chocolate?" .. bet you can't guess what I said ....
He HAD gone a little OTT though .... a wispa, a cadbury's caramel, a galaxy caramel, a galaxy bar and a pack of 2 Mr Kipling caramel shortcakes. We shared the lot in about 20 minutes flat
I was never NOT going to tell you all but I AM kicking myself
Oh and I had a toffee waffle before I went to bed.
Today started well, I had blueberries, a pear and ff from frais for breakie. I had thought to low carb and use maintenance products for a few days starting today as I was starting work tonight.
When we went out I took a snack pack of YAWYE fruit & nuts with me. However, when everone else was ordering their lunch I joined in and ordered a bacon & brie wrap, which was far more brie than bacon and came with a few wedges, 2 little dips of mayo and bbq sauce and a dish of coleslaw. Needless to say I ate the lot.
I decided I'd have fish and salad for tea so after we'd fed the boys and taken them home (I had a doctor's appointment and then) I came home and did fried eggs, wedges and smokey bbq beans (as you do ... )
I have brought 2 bottles of sparkling water and a maintenance bar to work but I still feel I'm on very wobbly ground. The plan is to have that here and have another maintenance product when I go home in the morning before I go to bed.
There again are a few obstacles to dodge around. Before I eventually get home I'll have been to my mother's, my son's (as it's his 30th birthday - he's away for the weekend and I go away on monday so if I don't go in the morning I won't see him), back to the doctor's for a blood test and to the local hospital for an xray. These have to be done tomorrow in case I need any medication before I go away on Monday .... so it's going to be a late one and sometimes I find that hard to negotiate as very tired can mean very weak!
:break_diet:
Well if confession really is good for the soul - mine should be thoroughly cleansed. Let's just hope it's also back in control or none of the clothes I've packed for the States will be fastening!!
I also hate this bloated feeling and the lethargy and 'umptiness' that follows all that sugar! (So why the heck do we do it??!!:sigh
Sorry this is a long old post, hope you're all faring better than I've been! I must say though - despite all this I'm still feeling pretty good mentally, emotionally & spiritually .... just need to sort out the physically now! xx
Hi Jan
Those bloody scales!! They have a lot to answer for havent they. i am sure this is why you have found it hard, cause you were hoping for a different result...
Oh, Jan, my turn to give you some support sweetie.....although I am not sure what to say, other than,
"You will get back to your normal control". The food you consumed is all comfort food, eh....the usual suspects!!!! But, I think you have to get it out of your system, no point fighting it. I still think your not 100% on it cause of USA..that is my personal opinion and well, it will be even more difficult when you get there....so, maybe in your subconcious you are saying "stuff it" I will sort it out when I get back.
Now, I know I do something, not sure if you are the same...you know when you have an event coming up; say like a wedding, etc....well, any normal person would probably diet and try and look their best, etc...and be good leading up to the day...well, it has the opposite effect on me!!! I am good until say the last week and then I panic and the spiral begins and the bad eating commences......now, I am not saying this is you, but wonder whether you are just not in the mood cause of all that is going on???? oh dear, I am making a pig's ear of this!!!!
Cant believe what "DAVE" did though..haha...wish my OH would do that...he wouldnt let choc pass my lips..haha....but I think by this point you probably had the attitude of just wanting them!!
So, what to do now missy!!!!! I know, why do we do it when we feel miserable with the bloatedness....BUT, you said a strange thing that you feel good within yourself, so you are obviously in a happy place too?????? mmmmmm.......
It seems that "good old, sensible, dietish, healthy food" is just not appealing at the minute, and maybe you need to ride this out!!!
Get USA out of the way, and then make a promise and commitment to yourself that you are going to really go for it and start to eat healthily again afterwards.
I hope all went well at your mum's, sons, and the x-ray, etc...and yes, late nights are no good with me either....this is when I pick or if I havent eaten, carbs take over and I want a BIG DOORSTEP with all the lashings and trappings of butter, etc!!!!!!! Our bodie are strange objects!!!!!!
Oh, Jan, I rambled more than you,,,trying to be lighthearted and a help, but not sure what I have achieved to be honest.
Yes, it is good to get it out into the open; you are being honest with yourself and accountable to us too....I dont have any doubts you will nip it in the bud (when you feel ready to), but dont leave it too long sweetie and make yourself so unhappy about your body....plus, it wont be helping your arthritis either!!!
Well, i am going to go, but I hope I have helped a wee bit.
Take care and I hope all goes well today and you stop torturing yourself as well.
