JanD's New Year, New Start, Maintenance Diary

[SandraB]

Oh Jan that it is so sad but I can sympathise in a way.....as you all know I've never ever wanted kids.....well about 18 months after I started seeing Paul, we were living together by that stage, his ex-wife met someone and decided to move to Newquay. Their son, Chris, was 7 at the time and Paul wanted to have custody and have him stay with us and I just knew that if that happened that I would have to walk away cos I've never wanted my own kids let alone someone else's. We used to have Chris every other weekend and he was a lovely little kid but I could never have been his step-mother......fortunately Paul and his ex sorted it out and they did go to Newquay and we used to get Chris at holidays. Paul knows now how I felt but I never told him at the time. I just felt that Chris had to come first and that just wouldn't ever have happened with me. I hope that doesn't make me sound like a hard-faced ***** but I guess that Paul would've met someone else and so would I.......

It's complicated.......as the saying goes......

 

[summergurl]

Holy moly Jan! Is this tsunami going to affect you?

It's just awful isnt it! xxx

 

[irish molly]

Jan, hope the packing is going well. Have a good flight and a good holiday.

 

[JanD]

Thanks Molly - definitely on count down now, just wish I wasn't in work tonight

Yes Tan - it IS awful but no it won't affect us fortunately.

Thanks Bev, Nessa & Sandra - At the same time as wishing it wasn't all happening you have to admire his strength at putting an end to the agony! This is why I'm so sure it WILL be alright in the end but they are so devastated as they feel so much for each other. I just hope it doesn't become acrimonious as solicitors etc get involved. Sandra I don't blame you in the least - you knew what you wanted and would have stuck to your guns - unfortunately my SIL only THOUGHT he knew what he wanted - when he got it it was a different story.
Nessa, you're spot on - he does suffer from depression, always has - off and on as these things tend to be. He has tried different treatments, had more than one type of one to one as well as family therapy .... I think this really is the end of the line. In some ways I hope it is, I hope he doesn't do a 180 because I think now that it would only be putting off the inevitable. I would just like to be able to pick everyone up and deposit them 12 months down the line .... :sigh:

ANYWAY!!! HOLIDAYS!!! I'm off in 28 hours and I'm going to leave it all behind me for a little while at least (except I'm not because I'll be texting my son etc but hey ) I WILL enjoy it xxx

 

[summergurl]

28hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will you be on here tomorrow before you go?? Going to miss you lots xxx

 

[JanD]

Ahhh - will you really? That's nice . I'm taking my little Asos but don't know where/whether I'll get a connection. I may well pop on tomorrow night after kids have gone & before I go to bed, tho' will need to get an early night if poss as leaving the house at 4.45am ... hmm little stirrings of excitement methinks xx

 

[summergurl]

Of course I will!!!
Well if I don't catch you before you go have a brilliant beyond brilliant time!!! Xxxx

 

[JanD]

I'll do me bezzie

 

[Zebs07]

)(hugs))

But the positive ... Woo hoo! Mere hours to go x

 

[MiniB]

In case I don't get on again before you go, have a fantastic time! I hope you have a wonderful holiday, get a good tan and take loads of pics for us to see.

 

[SandraB]

I hope I haven't missed you......have a brilliant time xxx

Ps missing you already:cry:

 

[JanD]

Thanks guys - 8.5 hours till we leave the house ... eeeek!! Gotta get some sleep in there too ..... see yas all in 2.5 weeks xx

 

[irish molly]

Have a good one Jan and try and forget your worries for a while.

 

[RetailChick]

Oh Jan I'm just heartbroken reading what you are all going through how awful for your son and his little family. Are the boys adopted or surrogate? So heartbreaking that your SIL hasnt bonded.......especially after all this time

Hope you can try focus on your amazing trip and have an absolute ball......you deserve it lady xxx Shall miss you about the place xxx

 

[SandraB]

Thanks guys - 8.5 hours till we leave the house ... eeeek!! Gotta get some sleep in there too ..... see yas all in 2.5 weeks xx

Bed missus, now!

 

[JanD]

Thank you peeps

The boys are adopted Emma - it took over 2 years and they had to jump through hoops to get them - another reason that adds to the sadness .. in sil's case it's a matter of 'be careful what you wish for'

On the up side ... my son is now considering moving in this direction which will make it a lot easier for me to do more to help out. Currently it's a 40 mile round trip so it's not easy to pick them up from school & have them for a couple of hours more than every so often and he's going to need more support along those lines if he's going to up his income by working more. He's a travel agent and works from home but has cut down to about 1/6th of his previous income to have the boys. SIL on the other hand has been climbing his career ladder very successfully and has all the income!! I know he'll have to support them but it won't be as much as he does now as he obviously needs to fund a place of his own too.
At least their house is valuing at about what they paid for it when they thought they'd have lost equity although they reckon to sell it easily and quickly they'll probably lose about 10k on it. Still they've agreed that wherever my son finds he will have a 25% deposit out of the equity.

Anyway enough of that!!

I'm going on holiday, I'm going to be in the moment and I'm going to have a really good time!!!

See you xxx

 

[JanD]

Bed missus, now!

Yes Ma'am!!! x

 

[kered]

I bet you have been basking in that Australian sunshine Jan.........hope you have been able to put your worries to one side and have some enjoyment hun.

 

[Zenaworrier]

Hi Jan,
Sorry I didn't get a chance to say it before but I hope you are having a brilliant time away. Sorry to hear about your son but it seems quite a positive thing in the end- especially for the boys.
Take care

 

[kered]

Oi Mrs Globetrotter - is it not about time you were coming back.....lol.

Seriously, hope you have both had a lovely time and relieved yourselves of the stress.