my diary ~ no more CD for me

Hi Kati

Depending on where you live in the country - I can totally recommend a financial advisor who got me a mortgage. He was excellent! I was with the Nationwide, and , like you had been paying it on my own but they refused me too... so I voted with my feet and moved mortgage!

The thing is, you will have to get a solicitor to arrange the transfer of equity to you first. I will pm you tomorrow (when I am more awake) and let you know what it all involved for me and my ex. It wasn't as straightforward as I had hoped, but it was well worth it all in the end as I have the house now (well... the halifax has it really - lol) my place has similar equity and they were happy to give me a mortgage...

Anyway... stuff the Nationwide. The manager at my branch was a pig to me. I had proof I could make the payments etc but he wouldn't budge an inch! So, like I say, I got a new mortgage with the halifax and closed all my accounts at the Nationwide and moved them over!

Anyway, will dig out the papers in the next couple of days and let you know the process it took for me. It may be different for you. I too was asked to get a guarantor, but I had no-one to ask so that wasn't an option.

I cannot tell you how fantastic you will feel when that house is entirely YOURS!

Hope you are feeling oodles and oodles better!

Love
Jenniex
 
Thanks for that Jennie that would be really helpful to know what to expect. Sounds like I picked he wrong building society to take otu a mortgage with doesn't it!

Anyway thats the only account I have with them so once the mortgage is moved that's it with them and I needn't have anything more to do with them.

I decided I would take the day off work today. My mam rang my sister and asked her to check on me because they're worried i wont be able to fight off the illness because I've lost so much weight so quickly.
 
I think I have been halucinating today lol. My son asked me something and i started wittering on about something to do with turtles and tortoises which was nothing to do with anything. Don't know where I got that from. I think it's just one of those things where you completely ignore your kids cos they never shut up though lol.

He also pinched one of my banana tertras grrrr.

I was a manace behind the wheel when i went to pick up the twins from school too. In one 2 mile trip home I almost drove into a brick wall, drove off the side of the bridge into the river and er there was something else too but i can't remember hat it was now. Good job I didnt do the 30 minute drive to work and then have another 30 minute drive home! Amazing what illness does to you.

A friend said she might come to visit today but no idea if she ctually will or not. If she does it'll probably be at about 5 when she picks up her daughter from the childminders. she ordered a load of stuff from avon for me but i cant afford to pay her for it yet oops. Nightmare. I relly need to earn more money qickly. Aprently the solicitor now has the lease for my mams new shop so shouldnt be too long before they start running that one and I'll be working full time. I really neeeeed the extra money! could do without working longer hours though. I'd be happy to get paid for doing nothing lol. well I could spend ages at the gym or going shopping or might even get some cleaning done, there's always loads to do.

I'm feeling rather clustraphobic right now, too many kids and animls around me. Cant move without someone being there right next to me aargh.

I've haad 1 pack and my meal and about 1 1/2 litres of water so far today. Loads more to go but i don't feel like having anything. I'm not in ketosis yet either.
 
Hun- it sounds like you're really poorly if you're driving is affected. I really think you should go onto one of the higher cal CD plans until you're fully recovered. We don't want you doing yourself an injury!!!

Hope you're feeling better very soon!
 
Well I'm definately worse than i have been for a while. My eldest has just been checking my temperature and everything bless him cos I was sitting here sweating like mad when he said it's not that hot. I'm roasting! I will eat more but afraid I have to go into work tomorrow and contaminate the whole of gosforth with my germs (good luck avoiding them lol) Thats if I start feeling worse again and decide to have another day off but then my mam and her boyfriend are going to get all worried again and probably come and make me eat, but thats ok if I'm on cd1000 isnt it lol.

No kids from tomorrow, phew! I feel like a bad mother but some peace and quiet would be wonderful till I'm better.

I think I really am worried about being at my goal weight though. Well rather I worry about being a size 10. Just because of bad experiences in the past which I worry about happening again because of being like that again. I think thats partly why I've been struggling. as much as I want to get that thin again, at the same time I don't.

I think too much at times.
 
It really does sound like you need a proper rest and recuperation. And please, please don't beat yourself up about finding it hard going at the moment. Being ill is horrible and your body's crying out for more energy.
Out of the entire rest of your life gone and still to come, a few more dieting days is nothing-time's on your side so listen to what your body wants-whether that's rest or peace and quiet or turtles (!) or water or carbs for a bit.
 
Honey - I really hope you're feeling better today but if you're not, please don't go into work!

We'll have to talk at some point about what happened when you were a size 10 that's put you off being slim.....but you know that you decide what size you are, no one else. If you wanted to stop now, you would still have succeeded and you look fab!!!

So please stop fretting and turn that brain off and relax and concentrate on getting well.

That's an order!! lol
 
Thanks. I am feeling a lot better this morning but still going to have the day off work. I'm gonna be skint for the next week though.

I have to say whenever I get a sore throat like that toast makes a wonderful difference. People tell me I'm mad for eating something rough when it hurts but I think it clears away any mucus that builds up there and clears the infection faster. So since I ate it yesterday my throat feels sooo much better. I still have the rest of my symptoms but the eased throat makes such a difference.

Think I'll go back to bed for a bit.
 
you can tell I'm bored I even took a picture and put it in as my avatar!!!! it looks nothing like me of course. I'm much more colourful. The greyness represents my illness lol (or rather the camera is crap) and I had to severely shrink the picture to fit it in. But anyway theres me being all brave. It does look weird but thats just bad picture quality, or maybe I do look weird anyway Kate and Isobel will be able to confirm either way if you ask them which it is lol.

I bet after seeing that you're now thinking how the hell has she got 6 men after her???? lol. I would be ;)

Anyway, enough putting myself down, I've given myself a headache. I don't have that much to say really, just bored. could go out but I want to stay here and mope about feeling all ill and stuff. Tempted to go and get some lemsip stuff since I'm not ssing or anywhere near in ketosis but got no money to buy it anyway so cant. Having to try and cheer myself up taking depressing black and white pictures instead. I've no idea why they're coming out black and white.

Maybe I'll swap my picture for one of my doggy when I get sick of seeing myself (probably in about an hour or so lol)

Anyway, there's me, bored but getting better.
 
how about before and after pictures?

Me fat:
34jc3tw.jpg


me now (with swollen glands too:
30xj5vl.jpg
 
Hun - those pics don't do you justice!!!

But - hey you can really see a difference in your face, can't you! WOW!!!

Glad you're feeling a wee bit better - take it easy, girl!

xxxxxx
 
I'm really fighting the urge to remove those pictures. they look awful. I had to remove it from my avatar because it's too much to be plastered all over the site where ever I've been posting.

This could posibly be because I have spent the last few hours depressing myself with stuff. I'm a member on another forum which I avoid most of the time because of that reason but the past few days I haven't been able to stay away. Due to this, and my illnes, I have stuffed myself with food. I ate and ate and ate ith the intention of making myself sick afterwards (but I haven't done that bit) so now I feel stuffed and sick and have developed terrible earache. And I am feeling so incredibly depresssed. this is what I have avoided feeling the whole time I've been on the diet but it's almost december and I hate december. and January. and all of the christmas stuff. I would love to be able to hibernate.

I think I'm in self destruct mode, or self sabotage, or something like that. I am ruining all the hard work I've done so far. so writing this here is my attempt to get it out of my system and stop. It wont stop completely I know that, but it's a distraction, it's a start.
 
Oh sweetheart... stop.. now... please... you are beautiful, your photos are lovely... you look fabulous..you CAN stop.. you CAN... look at all you have achieved... stop now... go and have a bubble bath and go to bed... throw away anything that is tempting you.. it isn't wasteful it's saving yourself from harm... chuck it in the bin and douse it in washingup liquid... brush your teeth... have a soak... go to sleep... listen to music... do something , anything to keep your mind busy... think of positive things... your achievements in life... all the happy thoughts.. pretend you are peter pan and need to fly again.. happy happy thoughts honey... nice things... good times... baby smiles... warm sunshine days... funny comedians... happy days...

Sending you massive hugs and hopes that you get through this blip relatively unscathed. For that's all it is.. a blip.. but you have to choose to stop... only you can do that sweetie.. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))
 
Oh sweetheart... stop.. now... please... you are beautiful, your photos are lovely... you look fabulous..you CAN stop.. you CAN... look at all you have achieved... stop now... go and have a bubble bath and go to bed... throw away anything that is tempting you.. it isn't wasteful it's saving yourself from harm... chuck it in the bin and douse it in washingup liquid... brush your teeth... have a soak... go to sleep... listen to music... do something , anything to keep your mind busy... think of positive things... your achievements in life... all the happy thoughts.. pretend you are peter pan and need to fly again.. happy happy thoughts honey... nice things... good times... baby smiles... warm sunshine days... funny comedians... happy days...

Sending you massive hugs and hopes that you get through this blip relatively unscathed. For that's all it is.. a blip.. but you have to choose to stop... only you can do that sweetie.. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))


Thanks for that, I need something like that. I can't throw the food out I need it for the kids. I shouldn't really be eating it because I can't afford to buy more to replace it.

I don't feel like I've achieved anything at all, I've just dealt with whatever life has thrown at me (badly) and got throuh it because I had to.

I've stopped eating. Might take the do out for a walk in a bit
 
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