my diary ~ no more CD for me

well I'm the same weight today as I was last night. Oh well looks like another non moving week. So glad I didn't put any weight on though

I've been drinking the warm summer berry stuff and it does ease my throat a bit. Wish the kids would shut up to ease my head though. I don't feel well at all :( My neck was all swollen this morning, dont know if it still is or if it just doesn't feel so bad now I've had some paracetamol.

Not going to do anything today if I can help it, but might have to go to a shop for some food for the kids. I hate shopping for food it makes me hungry.

I am feeling fed up with myself that I cheated so it's going to take a lot longer to get to my goal. I know it was my own fault I ate but that dosn't stop me feeling bad about it. In another way I think it was a good thing that I did take that bit of time off because before I did I kept picking at bits of chicken pretty uch every day. this time I haven't even been tempted to do that. Ok the fish finger smell off the kids tea last night made me feel hungry but there was no point where I was tempted to try some myself. Last week I would have thought ooh I'm soo hungry I will just have some chicken that wont hurt. But now, no, I'm not going to mess it up again I have to much to lose and not that long left on ss to be not eating. And I really want to be on 790 for christmas. In 3 weeks I should be at 10 stone 1 (I hope) or maybe 4 weeks actually so 4 weeks is the week before chrismas. I have no room left to play with the diet now and I still need to get into that dress! One thing I know for certain now though is I wont be at goal for my birthday (2 weeks after christms) which is what I'd hoped for. Never mind I'll still keep going till I do get there. I wanted to be able to buy loads of clothes in the january sales so I'd have stuff that'll fit me properly :(.
 
I feel awful. I've spent most of the day in bed asleep and just let the kids do whatever they wanted (playing on ps2 and on computer) no food in the house to feed them with and just useless.

I had only 2 cups of water all day and was lying in bed thinking how on earth am I going to manage the 3 packs plus another 3+ litres of water now? I took the kids to macdonalds for tea and ended up getting something myself. I was thinking whats the point in carrying on ith the diet when I know I cant do it. So I gave in.

I'm sure it's just because I feel so awful but I've been feeling really defeated today (while I wasn't asleep) but even when I was asleep I was dreaming about trying to hang myself (scary dream). That was probably because my throat hurts so much though but it was very vivid. I could still cry now because of the feelings I was having during the dream.

I really feel like giving up all together right now. I feel so bad.
 
Dont u dare give up!! Everyone has bad days hun, it sounds like yours has been terrible....that dream sounds well scary, especially when your not feeling too great anyway!!

Forget about McD's and move on....you really need to try have your packs though....remember they have all the good stuff in them that you need to survive!!
 
I know that feeling!! But you will be finished well before I am!!

I know its hard and being ill is absolutely no fun with kidz about either....Chloe just doesnt understand when I'm not well that she needs to behave!!

Think of that fab dress...and how ace u want to keep looking in it!
 
I doubt I'll be finished before you. You've already lost just about the same as me and you've done it quicker. I've only managed about 3lbs in the past 3 weeks.
 
true but that wont take you long because you have such good willpower to keep at it.

I have such bad memories of last time I was a 10 I think thats whats putting me off losing any more weight
 
Hi Kati

I'm so sorry for you, you're really struggling and no wonder. Stop being so hard on yourself, forget the McD's and just carry on with your diet.

Remember all the many, many times that you've fancied something to eat and you've not given in. Remember the times you've been out and watched eveyone eat around you and you've not joined them. If you give up now all those sacrifices will have been for nothing cos you know the weight will go back on.

Pick yourself up and continue as if nothing happened, it's a rocky road. Learn from this, you probably gave in easier cos you are so poorly anyhow and as you've had such little water you're body was clearly in need.

As for who will get there first, it doesn't matter as long as you get there and stay there.

Really hope you feel better in the morning.
 
kati said:
I feel awful. I've spent most of the day in bed asleep and just let the kids do whatever they wanted (playing on ps2 and on computer) no food in the house to feed them with and just useless.

I had only 2 cups of water all day and was lying in bed thinking how on earth am I going to manage the 3 packs plus another 3+ litres of water now? I took the kids to macdonalds for tea and ended up getting something myself. I was thinking whats the point in carrying on ith the diet when I know I cant do it. So I gave in.

I'm sure it's just because I feel so awful but I've been feeling really defeated today (while I wasn't asleep) but even when I was asleep I was dreaming about trying to hang myself (scary dream). That was probably because my throat hurts so much though but it was very vivid. I could still cry now because of the feelings I was having during the dream.

I really feel like giving up all together right now. I feel so bad.
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Hi honey,

I'm sorry that you have felt so crappy today. All I can add to everyone else's posts is that as soon as you feel a bit better, today, and your low mood will be a dim and distant memory-I PROMISE.

lots of love....get an early night.....:D ..xxxx
 
thanks Cheb, I think I should have been a man cos I can be pathetic when I'm ill lol.

I need to just get on with it don't I.

I go to see Isobel in the morning. i usually feel more positive aftr seeing her so I'm sure I'll be fine again tomorrow.
 
ooh it took me so long to write that I never saw the other posts too. Thankyou Kazz and Isis too. I just remembereed I haven't washed the kids school uniforms for tomorrow so can't go to bed for a while yet.
 
kati said:
thanks Cheb, I think I should have been a man cos I can be pathetic when I'm ill lol.

I need to just get on with it don't I.

I go to see Isobel in the morning. i usually feel more positive aftr seeing her so I'm sure I'll be fine again tomorrow.
Click to expand...


Ohh, you will definitely feel better after seeing Isobel tommorow.......:D
 
Hey hun - so sorry you're feeling horrid today. We can have a chat tomorrow but if you're feeling poorly, maybe one of the food programmes would be best for you until you're recovered?

Forget the McD - tomorrow is another day.....

love
 
Hey sweetie - don't be too hard on yourself and be gentle with yourself too. You are a lovely person and we all have these blue days... may it vanish soon and let you see that sunshine outlook again! Sending hugs and nice thoughts. Don't give up hun.. you deserve the best ((((hugs))))
 
How you doin today hun???
 
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