my diary ~ no more CD for me

[kati]

i forgot to say, my mam being as tactful as ever told my niece that she didn't like her trousers bcause they make her look fat!!!! I told her that wasn't a very nice thing to say because my niece isn't fat at all and she's at such an impressionable age she doesn't need to be told she's fat and end up getting a complex about her size. That was just mean of her if you ask me. She's nowhere near being mrs skinny herself!

 

[kati]

Oh and I was watching 2 pints of lager and a paacket of crisps last night and there was a bit on it where Johnny was tlling Janet he didn't fancy her as much any more because she has a crepey belly with stretch marks and saggy boobs after having her baby. That wasn't nice and made me wonder how many other men think it's awful and it ould completely put them off someone. I wonder if Mr cinema thinks that now he's seen my belly. He played with my wrinkly bits there but never said anything while he was looking at it

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Oh and I was watching 2 pints of lager and a paacket of crisps last night and there was a bit on it where Johnny was tlling Janet he didn't fancy her as much any more because she has a crepey belly with stretch marks and saggy boobs after having her baby. That wasn't nice and made me wonder how many other men think it's awful and it ould completely put them off someone. I wonder if Mr cinema thinks that now he's seen my belly. He played with my wrinkly bits there but never said anything while he was looking at it

Right - there is a dead easy answer to this worry - men who are fathers VERY often go on to have more babies with the same woman!!! So... there you have it! If mr Cinema does think that way then that's his tough - he doesn't deserve you. You need to get the video Shallow Hal and sit down and watch it with Mr Cinema!!! Spot any similarities.

Anyway, I wanted to say hon... don't need Mr Cinema or any other man to reaffirm how lovely you are. It is from within first and then the external. I saw your photos and you're lovely. Stuff any bloke who thinks differently! Right??? Right!

 

[kati]

Jennie you're right i shouldn't need any man to reaffirm how lovely I am. but I just can't help thinking that if no one else thinks I am then maybe I'm not.

However a bit of wrinkly skin thats mostly hidden does not affect how lovely someone is. It may be an imperfection but no one is perfect are they? Mr cinema certainly isn't perfect himself i mean he gets all hairy and everything yuk lol (not a fan of beards) He's no model type, and when I saw his brother I thought wow how can they be brothers when one is gorgeous and the other isn't. Isn't that awful of me to think his brother is better looking? true though, but it didn't mean I was going to go after his brother instead.

Shallow Hal is a good film to watch. I wonder if any blokes did learn anything from it

 

[kati]

ok we're back to ssing today. But if I feel in need of a meal I'm going to have one and not feel guilty about it. So there!

So far I've been fine. Had a bar and about 2 litres of peppermint tea s lots to go yet.

Amazingly I only put on 2lbs last week while i was stuffing myself with all sorts of bad food. I can cope with 2lbs. at least I'm still in the 10's so it's not bad at all. I'm not changing my ticker back 2lbs. I refuse, theres nothing to say i have to so I wont lol

I'm so tired, I never managed to get to sleep till after 5 this morning. i slept right through the alarm but thankfully mrmechanic dosn't like me to sleep in (actually he said if he has to be up then he thinks I should be up too) so he woke me up wit a text and I jumped out of bed and rushed round getting ready. The house is a tip, oh well. Will have a bath and tidy it after. I neeed sleep.

 

[Lottie-kins]

Hi Kati,

I've only read this last page, so I think I've got lots of catching up to do as I need to understand the different characters in your life. You really made me laugh with your names, mrcinema and mrmechanic. And also, your last post about not changing your ticker - completely agree, 2lb will be back off in no time. And I'm going to have a meal, so there was also very funny! You have a gift.

But, I might be reading out of context (as haven't read the rest), but you sound a bit down and was being a bit mean to self - that won't do you any good hun, there is enough b'stards out there in the world that can do it for us, so we should be nice to ourselves.

And, I'm sure that he didn't notice your belly! He's probably just sewing his wild oats like nature intended primative man to do (again I might be assuming thats how he saw your belly - forgive me if I'm wrong). He's prob not mrright if thats the case and so maybe look for the mrright that has lost the primative nature just everso slightly instead?

 

[kati]

Thanks Lottie, gld you've enjoyed reading even just this one page.

A quick background on characters here, Mr mechanic was the love of my life for a year and a half and I was absolutely gutted when he was proven to be a cheat and liar. But he still contacts me every day and likes to know he has some kind of a hold over me. Actually I just fell asleep in the bath and someone sent me a text, in my dream the text was off mr mechanic telling me he was letting me go because he knew he was no good for me. I woke up thinking "Nooooooooo!" that is extremely not good that just a dream has that effect.

Mr Cinema is so called because our first date (this time round)he made me choose where to go and I didn't have a clue but chose the cinema so it wouldn't ruin my diet. and yes he did get to go to bed with me the other night (embarrassed now lol) so thats how he got to play with my belly. Wouldn't have shown it to him otherwise.

I have been a bit down lately but since I've been feeling better physically I have mentally too. so I am getting there and feeling mor empowered to carry on with the diet.

Now though I am starving and very tempted to go and eat. But I won't I'll go and have a soup or a hot chocolate or something. Still 2 packs to go!

 

[kati]

had a choc mint pack now starving starving starving!!!!

I think I might go to the gym before work in the morning. If I do I'll have to get my stuff ready to wear tonight because I'm bound to be so knackered in the mroning I'll not be bothered and end up not going.

Oh no was going to go to have a swim but theres an aquafit class on in the pool on a tuesday morning. poo. will have to go into the gym and watch myself go red in front of the mirror. Unless I get there and ask if theres any space in the aquafit class and go to that, it's either that or spinning but I could never manage the spinning class now lol

 

[kazz]

gym sounds like a good idea hun......I used to love going to the gym, but then I moved here and cant depend on anyone minding Chloe regularly enough to justify paying membership anywhere!!

I dont know about you, but even though I was sweaty & worn out I used to feel fantastic when I got out of the gym!!

 

[kati]

yes it does make you feel better even though you've worn yourself out (does that make sense? lol) I went in feeling dreadful with cold one day and it seemed to shift the cold for a few hours and made the day go by much easier.

I'm hoping it'll work again tomorrow. Although I haven't been for ages so wont be able to do anything like as much as I used to

 

[kazz]

sure even if you cant do as much as you used to, you will still feel fab for making the effort!! My gym in Dublin was fab.....there were a tonne of tvs at the treadmills and cross trainers etc and you could tune into watever you wanted....used to be abe to watch corrie while puffing away on a bike....was ace!!

 

[kati]

yeah you can do that there too but I prefer to take my ipod and ignore everything else. Stick something with a good beat on to work out too and you're away. no adverts to spoil the flow or anything

 

[kazz]

true, adverts do kind of ruin the buzz...might get my sis to take me to the police gym when I go home....like, for purely exercisal purposes.....I swear it wouldnt be to gawp at the police boys!!!

 

[kati]

ooooh that sounds like a good idea. where can I find a police gym?

I've just mentioned to a friend that I wanted to go and see keane when they play at Newcastle so he's booking tickets for us to go! so there we go I have something to look forward to. I have till march to get to my goal lol and stay there.

 

[kazz]

em, well I think you have to be a copper to get into a police gym...sorry hun....my lil sis is one....oooooohhhh and she graduates in february so I want to get home, wear something fab, look spectacular and eye up all the men in uniform he he!! !

Hope your mate manages to get tickets hun.....I love going to concerts....was at snowpatrol in Dublin during the summer and they were ACE!

 

[kati]

damn I need to find a police person friend. Oh well.

He's booked and paid for the tickets already! So we're definately going. I just have to worry about finding a babysitter now as it's on a tuesday night!

Funnily enough I have snow patrol on my ipod but I've never actually listened to it other than the chasing cars song. Maybe I'll put that one on in the gym tomorrow

 

[kati]

I've been looking for bras on the internet tonight.

the ones that will fit me are all like flipping hammocks!!! I really hate being so big it's depressing. I've spent my whole adult (and teenage) life being told how fantastic it is that my boobs are so big but it's not fantastic, it's a pain. It's expensive, and embarrassing at times.

hmmm, must lose more weight and hopefully it will go from there

 

[Lottie-kins]

Thanks Lottie, gld you've enjoyed reading even just this one page.

A quick background on characters here, Mr mechanic was the love of my life for a year and a half and I was absolutely gutted when he was proven to be a cheat and liar. But he still contacts me every day and likes to know he has some kind of a hold over me. Actually I just fell asleep in the bath and someone sent me a text, in my dream the text was off mr mechanic telling me he was letting me go because he knew he was no good for me. I woke up thinking "Nooooooooo!" that is extremely not good that just a dream has that effect.

Mr Cinema is so called because our first date (this time round)he made me choose where to go and I didn't have a clue but chose the cinema so it wouldn't ruin my diet. and yes he did get to go to bed with me the other night (embarrassed now lol) so thats how he got to play with my belly. Wouldn't have shown it to him otherwise.

I have been a bit down lately but since I've been feeling better physically I have mentally too. so I am getting there and feeling mor empowered to carry on with the diet.

Now though I am starving and very tempted to go and eat. But I won't I'll go and have a soup or a hot chocolate or something. Still 2 packs to go!

Thanks for the update Kati, I mean Nikki (I read the reason why!) I don't like the sound of Mr Mechanic, sounds a bit of a tapper, ringing you every day a year and a half on - think that policeman friend could come in handy. I heard once though that your dreams often mean the opposite to what they seem though?

I'm glad that you are feeling better and that you fought through the hunger. It's so hard getting back on to SS after a break isn't it. Anyway, hope that you enjoyed the gym this morn, or your aqua fit and trying Snow Patrol - my fave song is Chocolate (they don't say it don't worry, don't know why it's called that, it is about a man that cheated) and I love the track called Run. Mind you, I think they are on their first album and chasing cars is on the next. I'm babbling now!!

 

[kati]

Thanks Lottie, didn't get to the gym because i slept in this morning so didn't have time to get everything done. Oh well there's always tomorrow. I'll just have to take the dog out for a brisk walk later.

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Just popping it to say that I hope you are managing to stick to the SS and feeling good! The gym sounds a fab idea if you can do it. I used to go last year and it made me feel great but not been in a long time now. Will let you know if I start again and we can compare! lol Take care hon xxx