Ok I didn't take the chance and give him my phone number. I'm a wimp. There were too many people about and I was so busy so I never actually served him. I just couldnt bring myself to give him it, and I never thought to ask for his till it was too late. Oh well.
Poor bloke was so miserable today too, I went out to the kitchen and he told mrs stickinsect he was gutted I wouldn't give him my number.Then when he came in at lunchtime he brought a little toy soldier and said it was a present for me (he must have found it on the building site or something. it was clean though) I told him a packet of cough sweets would have been a better present, and then when he said it was a german soldier I told him I have enough germs thankyou very much. How ungrateful am i?? what a b****. Oh well I offered him crisps (free) but I just couldn't say oh here this is my phone number.
Mrs stickinsect said he was stroppy with her and she didn't like him any more, I don't know what he said to her cos I had my own customers to serve but apparrently whatever it was she wasn't happy with his treatment of her. So..I wonder was he just having a bad day? was he really gutted cos he was saying he wanted us to go out tonight? was he just hungover? I don't know but he wasn't his normal self.
To be honest I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and thought "urgh he should be glad I haven't given him my number" I kind of feel awful now cos it has gone on all week so not so sure he was joking any more. I will say something about how I couldnt tell if he was joking or not though. I can be gullible but dont need to be humiliated if it was a joke.
I have come to conclusion (right or wrong who knows) but I dont think I could be happy with someone long term unless he makes me feel as good as Mr Mechanic did at the start. That is so depressing. If I'd never felt it I wouldnt want it, but if thats not there then I will feel theres no excitement and if there's no excitement at the beginning then what hope is there of any after a few years together? Maybe thinking that way will have me doomed to being single forever but should I settle for less? I dont want mr mechanic back I just want the way I felt with/for him back. Is that too much to expect? I dont know. I need to be excited that he will call or text, and need to be excited to see him, and to have seen him. I need to feel like I could float and have that warm fuzzy feeling when he kisses me...... If theres none of that then i will always be wishing I had it. I didn't have that with my husband but I didn't know tjose feelings were possible when I got married. I did grow up and realise there had to be more though. I dont expect that feeling to last forever, but if it's not there in the early days is there any point carrying on? Am I deluding myself?
was going to write more about other stuff but being watched so will do it later
Hope your feeling better.
