SA's 810 and beyond diary a.k.a My daily kick up my own behind ;-)

[Serena A]

I agree Julie... choc & me will be a tricky relationship always. I hope I never eat it again (except in form of CD bars which are my plan to meet those choccy cravings, & because I never associate them with a binge). So I too am very impressed at Serena's ability to stop where she did. Thinking ahead to maintaining in the 'real' world, I am hoping I can eat cake in a cafe or when out, now and again, and be 'safe' because the rest of the cake is NOT in my fridge calling to me... it;s just chocolate itself I plan to outlaw!

xx

Hehehe I know what you mean. Have you read Lee Janogly's book "Stop Bingeing?" I've bought it and read some of it last night, it's written in a very lighthearted and chatty way. Basically she advises that to stay binge free you need to make the decision to avoid your specfic trigger foods. In doing so you can escape the diet mentality because it leaves you free to eat everything else without worrying whether those foods are a "good" or a "bad" choice. Once you've avoided your trigger foods for a period of say, 6 months, you can have them again but only on occasions where you can isolate it to a specific event e.g. if your trigger food is pudding then only have pudding when out for a birthday meal. Very similar to your cake in the cafe scenario.

For instance I really enjoy cakes, choccy, takeaways etc and if I am not mid-diet I can quite happily eat cakes or a takeaway and leave it at that. Whereas chocolate will nearly always lead me onto other things. So although they are all "bad" food choices it's only the choccy that is an actual trigger food for me if that makes sense.

Not saying I necessarily agree with the book, after all it's only yet another point of view, but so far it makes interesting reading nonetheless...

 

[Serena A]

Serena you are a STAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aww thanks...so are you

 

[BREN]

I have another tip which I use when going to a cafe. I normally drink Long mach's or flat white's. when I feeling a little sweet toothed I have a cappucino with the choc on top being my ocassional treat. Sometimes I plan ahead and know that if I am meeting a friend chop up half a CD bar and take that with me to snack on.

Serena an interesting read I might have a hunt for it. I think that by retraining yourself over a 6 months period you should be able to, and I know I have in the past, avoid those periods of continually eating after having that trigger food.

x

 

[Katycakes]

Great tips, Serena & Bren.

Haven't read Lee's book but will track it down, have been reading assorted books on this theme and have found useful bits in several... anything that makes sense/hits home has to be worth it. So... I instinctively feel that way about the trigger food for me, chocolate. I don't want it or have any nice associations left with it at all, in my head it is all tainted with the bad stuff, the binges, so that may help me to stay away from it for a while! And the plan was that I could still have nice treat food sometimes, like cake or pudding, but only in a situation where I can be fairly sure a binge won't follow. So hopefully I won't feel deprived, and can have CD bars (only nice associations!) for when the choc craving hits.

My daughter has been making choc brownies in the kitchen and has just come in offering a plate of them around. I have had a tiny bit (one mouthful) with a teaspoonful of 0% greek yog and it was nice... but felt safe. I was never mad on brownies so that helps! But that small thing has made me feel a bit more 'normal' too! I know that small corners of brownie are not allowed on 810 but then again, it seemed like the right thing to do... and it's a bit like being in a cafe, there is safety in sitting around with a bunch of people.

Bren, I do sometimes take a CD bar to eat in a cafe... yum... and I agree, a skinny latte is as good as a pudding. I have had a couple since stepping up to 810 and try to see them as 'soup' of some kind... a whole meal rather than a drink!

xxx

 

[KD]

Not saying I necessarily agree with the book, after all it's only yet another point of view, but so far it makes interesting reading nonetheless...

I have that book. I reckon I feel the same way as you about it.

It wasn't the way I wanted to sort out the head stuff, but it's a way nevertheless.

 

[Serena A]

Day 44

I was intending to quickly log on just to write today's diary and have an early night. However I stumbled across one of KD's old threads from 2007 which discusses AD (Addictive Desires). Two and a half hours later and my brain is all of a whirl...

I feel less confused as to why I am handling the CD steps up much better than I thought I would. I had so many occasions during SS when the urge to eat felt overwhelming, but I didn't succumb. I thought I was just being "good" so I could be rewarded with my 3lb at weigh-in, but in reality I was setting myself up to tackle my obesity in the long term. It's why the "have some chicken if you really need it" school of thought would have backfired on me had I gone down that route - it's because I am a binger rather than someone who simply likes to eat too much.

Had I kept feeding my addictive desires with a bit of ketosis-friendly protein it may well have not shown up on the scales that week, but would certainly be showing up now when I am no longer governed by the need to lose weight for the sake of my health or appearance.

Huge apologies for this post being horribly self-indulgent but it's made me feel so much brighter about the future that I just had to get it down to read during my darker days. I can do it!

Thought for the day:

"Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach."

 

[Serena A]

I have that book. I reckon I feel the same way as you about it.

It wasn't the way I wanted to sort out the head stuff, but it's a way nevertheless.

Agreed...others can give me suggestions but only I have the answer

 

[Katycakes]

Serena, never, ever self-indulgent... you have just put the confuddled thoughts I have on this down PERFECTLY. Thank you. I think I am much the same as you, in how & why I eat, which may be why I have connected so much with your posts & your stay-on-track attitude over the last few months. I know those truths are true for me too, and also for many other minis users.

Will go & find that KD thread, too. I am happy to gather in any & all suggestions from books etc, and apply anything that feels right to my situation. But tales of recent experience and success, such as KD, you, Lostris, Lelly, Slenda, Bren, Nibbles and many others here on minis are probably more relevant and more motivating. I don't think I'd have got this far without minis... and all of you guys.

Happy Sunday everyone, whether you are mothers, daughters or just happy CDers!
xxx

 

[Serena A]

Glad my thoughts made some kind of sense to you Katy. The AD thread is in the Maintenance section under Diaries bit, I am sure you will find it as interesting as I have.

Oh and a very belated thank you KD for sharing your thoughts with us, especially now your words have the added ooomph of us knowing that you are still successfully walking the walk!

:thankyou:

 

[KD]

However I stumbled across one of KD's old threads from 2007 which discusses AD (Addictive Desires). Two and a half hours later and my brain is all of a whirl...

I'm so pleased! The AD thing was a massive part for me, and though it wasn't the whole answer it was the big piece in the jigsaw.

I know we have to find our own way, but it's good to explore options isn't it.

Can't believe I wrote it in 2007. Wow...time flies

 

[Katycakes]

KD, just spent an hour or more reading the 2007 thread... a lot to take in. Will be reading it again, and trying to absorb as much as I can... someone said (you?) that CD just brings us up to the starting line for the real task... I agree with that. Anyway, just thinking out loud, if you know what I mean. Thanks!
xxx

 

[penny35]

Hey beautiful, just wanted to say hi.

 

[Serena A]

Hi hunni xx

 

[Serena A]

Day 45

Happy Mothers Day (not that I am one...sounds too much like hard work for my liking )

Was looking on Facebook earlier and came across a picture of me in a restaurant from around 18 months ago that I untagged the moment I saw it (have added it to my "before" album on here). In it I have a big smile but I can see in my eyes how unhappy and uncomfortable I felt that evening...I remember it well. Thank goodness that girl is no longer me.

I went shopping yesterday and bought a new pair of trainers, and took them out for a jog this afternoon so they could see their new neighbourhood. Wearing them put a little extra spring in my step which, combined with a little extra effort on my part, helped me to get my time down by over 10 minutes compared with when I ventured out on my very first jog just 3 weeks ago. They also did a fab job of dazzling any passing cars with that new-trainer-whiteness...ness.

Thought for the day:

"Just do it."

 

[LellyCD]

...Was looking on Facebook earlier and came across a picture of me in a restaurant from around 18 months ago ...

don't you just hate that...after i had lost my weight someone put an old photo of me from work and i was so annoyed...but why?? that's how i looked there's no point in trying to avoid the evidence i suppose, just got to make sure i get a newer photo on there too!

enjoy the lovely new trainers hun! and love the quote for the day too...now why didn't i think of that 10 years ago!!

xx

 

[Serena A]

love the quote for the day too...now why didn't i think of that 10 years ago!!

Lol story of our lives eh...

 

[Serena A]

Day 46

Another nothing day of blahness...

I have however discovered how to pimp up my CD choc blender ice cream by whizzing some frozen black cherries into it, it's so yummy that it's dangerous!

The size 10 jeans I bought a month or so ago are getting a bit loose for me now which is weird as they were pretty snug when I bought them and I've only lost 5lb or so since then. I haven't lost that many inches during that time either so not sure what's going on there.

I still don't feel anywhere near slim enough for my height, I keep thinking "it's all vanity sizing, you need to get your BMI down a bit more". I think it's more a head thing though so I won't be revising my target just yet, I'll see how I feel in a few months after I've allowed my head to catch up a bit.

Thought for the day:

"Every new day brings with it a new opportunity to do things that little bit better."

 

[Porgeous]

You're clearly mad as I've just been nosing at your pictures and you are tiny wee thing of loveliness!

Oh and love the pimping your CD choc lol

xx

 

[andju]

You're clearly mad as I've just been nosing at your pictures and you are tiny wee thing of loveliness!

Oh and love the pimping your CD choc lol

xx

This is too true,serena you really are tiny,i know Ive seen you from start to finish.Your head will catch up hun and i think you look fantastic and teeny tiny I hope you can see it soon,i am the same though hun and know where youre coming from,isnt it frustrating!!
xx

 

[BREN]

Serena sometimes we have to tell ourselves that we are beautiful. When you say it, you must think it and believe it. The mind is a very powerful thing. I did some hypnotheraphy the other year and you should try writing 3 positive things that you love about yourself. Before you go to bed say them over about 10 times.

Bren
X