Slinking down the aisle!!!

[Jayne33]

Trying is definitely better than not. Who knows, you may still lose weight so long as your cals in cals out are leaving you with a deficit each day Keep trying hun as I know you want to get back on track 100%, and I'm def still here to support you with that. Are you still getting weighed at your pharmacy each week, or are you now in the situation of having a backlog of products to use up? Often an official weekly weigh in can be motivation to get back on track, so maybe you need to go back and see if they will weigh you without you having to buy products until you've used up what you have?


xx

 

[lolapink]

I know all about the product backlog!!! I need to get weighed weekly to kick me up the arse to success! It's like, we all know how this works - none of us are stupid! - but we try and kid ourselves! I am not gonna kid myself anymore, it's only me I'm cheating! X

 

[lolapink]

So where were we........ Oh yeah I'm a fat failure and I'm getting married 10 weeks tomorrow!!! WTF!!! Let's be brief - always struggled with my weight, I feel fab at 10 stone, not been there often! Over the past couple of years ive hovered from 11 to 12, got engaged last august when I was about eleven stone, ordered the dress and am now between twelve and a half and thirteen, seriously??? I did LT for a fortnight 100% in January and lost 15lb, felt amazing, then took penicillin and it buggered me up completely! My wedding is the one day I've dreamt about for years and I just can't believe I have no motivation to do this???? It's crazy, I really keep sabotaging my efforts every day, every morning is a fresh start and then I just start picking, which leads to pigging out and then the self hate and thinking " to hell with it" and carrying on the cycle. I'd always envisioned my wedding dress and photos looking stunning on my size ten frame, about nine and a half to ten stone and now I'm in panic mode. 10 weeks till the wedding and 6 weeks till my fab hen weekend where I'm gonna feel a frump compared to all my glam friends. I don't expect anybody to have the answers, I just feel lost. What makes it worse is knowing it's all my fault! I'm 35 and do love looking and feeling good so why? Rantage over, thanks if you made it to the end xxx

 

[cathiec]

oh lolapink, please try not to feel so bad, we are all rubbish at one time or another. i have 8 weeks to lose a stone and every week something is happening to stop me!
i am going to have to not drink, unless havin a night out (which ive got 3 this month) and exercise to within an inch of my life

at the end of the day you have your looks, your health and obviously some one who will love whatever!! so stop putting pressure on yourself and give it another go cos i am starting 2moro (after ive been to mumbai spice for a retirement do with work)

lots of lov cathie xxxx

 

[lolapink]

Thanks Cathie, whinging over! I'm on it with you tomorrow! You'll easily drop the stone, are you doing lipotrim too? I'm revved up now, like you said it's not the end of the world, weight is just one part of who we are. Having said that I so want to rock that bikini on honeymoon! thanks for your kind words, hope the Indian was a great last meal x

 

[Jayne33]

Oh hun, I could've written that post myself! My food demons well and truly have a hold of me yet again, and I'm really fighting a battle I hate it! We can only keep trying though, and come the morning, I will try yet again. Good luck chick. I hope we can both get a grip xx

 

[lolapink]

Hello there my lovely! What are we like???!!! We are only human but it's time to buck our ideas up, final shot at tfr for me tomorrow, the fear of the wedding looming so close now has really kicked me up the arse and set my head straight, you have to stay positive or it'll never work. I know I've been smaller and I know I've been bigger so hey ho, I am what I am now! It's time to look forward for me, I have a habit of looking back with rose tinted specs, I need to appreciate who I am NOW and not think lesser of myself because I'm overweight, which I do - I think I've realised that I'm not going to lose weight unless I am happy and love myself, not my old thinking that I can't love myself or be worthy of being loved unless I lose weight. Wow, that's my deep bit over with, how the devil are you? I'm glad you've struck a happy medium with balancing the calories in and calories expended with the exercise, I have faith you can do this! And I'm gonna copy this post onto my diary so I can update that top, I'm going to try and keep my diary entries up every day as an extra motivational tool, fingers crossed for us!!!

 

[Jayne33]

Thanks for your post in my diary hun

Hope your motivation is remaining high for today. Come on, you can do it!

xx

 

[lolapink]

Well, today I face a clean road ahead, I'm going to do this, I know I can do this, I am worthy of this. I've realised it's not just about the wedding, my relationship with food has to change for the future me, the future wife and mummy I will become! I'm so excited and ready for this! Six weeks till my fantastic hen weekend away so I think it will be five weeks of tfr before that and then straight back on tfr until the wedding four weeks later - so I suppose refeed the week before the wedding too it will be three weeks tfr. So, I'm hoping to lose at least two stone, three would be amazing, any thoughts on how realistic this is? I know ive cut it fine to get my act together, I could whinge about the past two months I've wasted since doing lipotrim but where would that get me? What would that do? Nothing!!! It's time to look forward, FORWARD!!! X

 

[SandraB]

Just caught up with your diary but I read and responded to your PM first if that makes sense..........hope today is going OK and looking forward to receiving your message!!!!! xx

 

[lolapink]

Today has been great, been running around all day on my day off and even managed some exercise, which only highlighted how unfit ive become!!! It's all go from hereon though so bring on that wedding dress!!!

 

[x__lis__x]

Woo! Come on, u can do it x

 

[lolapink]

Thanks for the support, it's all a bit exciting now!!! X

 

[Jayne33]

Yay! Day one under your belt. Woohooo xx

 

[lolapink]

Oh Jayne I don't know how I got through tonight! I sat down at seven and told my oh that I was staaarrrvvving, he refused to let me have food and I got really moody, I'm mortified!!! Like a spoilt brat!!! After an hour of virtually sulking he said, well are you going to eat then? If so give up the shakes completely and eat! He knows how to work me, I snapped out of it and made my final shake of the day! Why do you get pissy at yourself, I know I'm doing it but all I could think of was ....food reference alert....chip butties!!! Hallelujah that's over with, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day! Hope you're doing well my lovely x

 

[Jayne33]

You got through it though, and that's the main thing! I am so proud of you hun. 2 days done - it's the hardest part this bit, you know that, and that's why you were pissy. Ketosis will be with you tomorrow or the next day and then you're sailing hun Keep it up!

xx

 

[lolapink]

I was so proud of myself Jayne! I thought I had no willpower but I am so glad I persevered, I know how unhappy I would have been with myself this morning if I'd eaten - all for the sake of one lousy meal! I've mentioned in another post today that it is just weight loss, its not life/death/ending war or world famine but its my little journey and I'm one step more forward on my path - I will not be travelling backwards! I hope everyone has a fab day x

 

[cathiec]

hey lolapink!

good on ya girl!

heres a good one for ya
my oh said if i stick to the plan 100%,no alcohol, and do my shred dvd every day for the next 20 days hes gonna give me some cash for the hen weekend wahoo!!
so i'm gonna get paid to lose weight!!

how can i not cock that up!! 17729

but it is a good insentive cos i will be skint when 26th march comes!!

lets get sticking to it!!
love cathie xx

 

[SandraB]

I was so proud of myself Jayne! I thought I had no willpower but I am so glad I persevered, I know how unhappy I would have been with myself this morning if I'd eaten - all for the sake of one lousy meal! I've mentioned in another post today that it is just weight loss, its not life/death/ending war or world famine but its my little journey and I'm one step more forward on my path - I will not be travelling backwards! I hope everyone has a fab day x

And you would have had me to answer to it is life and death in a way......your wedding photos are going to be around for the rest of your life, so they HAVE to be fabulous

 

[lolapink]

The fear of telling you I had failed Sandra is WORSE than death I can assure you, I would have been up all night!!! and you're right, just the expense of the photographers is bad enough without never wanting to look at them after anyway! Cathie, might have to show the oh your post, surely a monetary incentive is just the tonic I need!!!