Looks like some good results again this week including a splendidly mahoosive loss from our very own gail undeuxdeuxhuitdeux! Yayyy!
I've been doing some more thinking. That is never a good thing - only headaches and trouble come from me thinking. However, this time my thinking should result in a bum ache rather than a headache as what I really need is a good kick up the backside. Yes life is difficult at the moment, I am in a really bad place financially, emotionally I have the stuff with m-i-l to contend with and some relationship issues which I won't go into and to cap it all I'm feeling very isolated away from my family in UK. However, and it is a
LARGE BOLD HOWEVER, if I don't get to grip with my weight issues then I'm going to feel even worse, it undermines my feelings of self-worth and self confidence.
I did really well with SW when I first started back on it in September 2009 and lost 27 lbs by about march 2010 and had only about 15 or 16 lbs to go, then my weight loss stalled and no matter what I did, I couldn't lose weight and so I lost my mojo my weight went up and down the same pound or two for months, there was no good reason for this in terms of outside influences, I'm not really sure what was going on to be honest. Anyway, when I restarted "properly" again, I still struggled to get my head in gear and I think I was feeling still disappointed in myself that I had put on at that stage about 6 lbs or so from my lowest point at 163 lbs, well since my restart other than losing a few pounds, I have now put them back on plus a few extras. Even last week, I didn't really want to admit how much to myself.
Its nearly a year since I got to my lowest weight point and I have put on 10 lbs since then. The conclusion of my pondering is that I need to draw a line and restart forget about my success from a year or more ago and act as if I am a new starter, starting my journey this time at 172 lbs. A better place than I started last time, but that was last time and this is a new beginning.
I'm not kidding myself that it will be easy just because I'm changing my tickers and stats, I still have the same issues as I had yesterday BUT I am determined to face them differently and stop wallowing in self-pity or even if that is maybe a bit harsh on myself, at least stop making excuses.
New start - 172lbs. I am going to get to goal at 147lbs. There it is. Hallelujah!
Apologies to all for such a long and boring post but I needed to get this out of my system.
Oh and I'm a new starter, can I join the Sunday weighers? please?