Unthoughtful people!

[moonwatcher]

Dear M*****, who my OH used to be friendly with and do some work for,

We haven't heard from you for about four years. In fact the last time you were in touch was when you had promised my OH some work up to Christmas, and then rang about 10 days beforehand and said you'd changed your mind, which really messed up our Christmas that year, so what makes you think when you ring out of the blue on a Saturday tea-time, that my OH will jump in his car and drive a 30 mile round trip to look at your leaking pipe? And then when he said 'No,' you asked if he could come today, on a Sunday, instead? You only ever get in touch when you want something, or if you think you will get a job done cheap. Good job that you got my OH on the 'phone and not me - or I may have dropped several home truths into the conversation!

I know it should be the season of goodwill to all men, but in my book that excludes those who take the p!ss!

 

[ColJack]

Dear Willpower fairy,

I know that it's a busy time of year for you with all those treats our there and so many people dieting to look good for x-mas but why did you have to stop your visits to my house?
I bought 16 yogurts on Friday night that were supposed to be for the rest of the week and into next weekend ( 2 a day, they were small pots ), well it's Sunday night and i've just finished off the last one.

I know that they are syn free but it's still not good to eat 8 in a day surely?

Sent from my iPod touch using MiniMins

 

[lilprincessvic]

Dear Willpower fairy,

I know that it's a busy time of year for you with all those treats our there and so many people dieting to look good for x-mas but why did you have to stop your visits to my house?
I bought 16 yogurts on Friday night that were supposed to be for the rest of the week and into next weekend ( 2 a day, they were small pots ), well it's Sunday night and i've just finished off the last one.

I know that they are syn free but it's still not good to eat 8 in a day surely?

Sent from my iPod touch using MiniMins

I sent the willpower fairy a similar one this week! Unfortunetly i havent been able to resist!

 

[f1anj]

Dear OH
You really piss me off...... Why do you even buy new tech when all you do is stress out about how the hell it works..... Like an iphone 4s??????? Then decide its time for a new telly when now we have an old one stuck here to sell (3 years old lcd flat screen 42".......so not really needing a new one.... And not really old at all...)
So I boughed down and came with you to choose it. For a few quid more I actually chose it.... Now its all my poxy fault you can't effin use it....... God I hate my life and you right now!!!!

 

[Lauratheloop]

Dear Self......


I don't think you should be let loose in the supermarket again alone especially since you had an argument with so called mate and had a DVD day planned with hubby.

Whilst you grabbed a fitness magazine I don't actually think that changes the fact that the other 90% of the trolley was junk food!!

An now your sat pissed off about it


Yours faithfully

 

[Starlight]

I wish you had my number you could have Texted me, I would have rung back and you could have said "it's for you" and whilst she was surprised by that I would have told the gobby cow a few home truths!

Please can I have your number lol

 

[mama_mia]

Dear Mister Mia

After many, many, many years together I am glad to say that I still adore you!

Yes, it is peppered with a mild need to (almost) suffocate you as you sleep whilst whispering "follow the light", and/ or put excessive amounts of pepper in your food so that you (almost) choke, but thats just down to hormones.

You really are my world and I love you; especially when you do as you're told...or don't...it depends on my mood really.

Thank you for Mia...high five, great job!

Mrs Mama x x

 

[conlou1]

loving this thread soooo much

dear me
why do you continue to sabotage yourself every single weekend by getting completely sh1t faced and making a total ar5e of yourself then eating the contents of your fridge, after a take away then wallow in self pity and self loathing the next day and decide to concrete that gain in place by eating junk food again. know your limits and learn to say no girl!!

dear friend
you bring a dress round for me to try on, knowing i was down about my weight, why, when the dress fit me and i was clearly relieved did you take it home again, try it on yourself then text me to say how it was too big for you? not cool.

dear hubby
yes i know i was pure evil to you last night and said some hurtful things in a drunken slurry stupor but why do you feel the need to make me suffer all day and make snidey comments after i have apologised 100 times and am obviously mortified? then keep saying how i 'owe' you...ok pal, well you 'owe' me for having to put up with the tons of crap youve sent my way over the last 6 and a half years and you 'owe' me for generally being a skivvy, so yes if i go out and get completely out of my head by accident its perhaps because its the only time i get to relax. so build a bridge and get over it, now.

and finally

dear mummy dearest, aka queen sabateur
please please please stop sabotaging my diet when i come for tea by not cooking something remotely sw friendly then deciding to go to chippy as you have nothing in, i come every week, on the same day, i have done sw for 3 years on and off, yet you still dont seem to understand that fish and chips is not acceptable as a weekly treat. and please dont flaunt yourself in all your 9 stone something glory and tell me how youve lost 12 pound in 2 weeks doing the atkins diet and why dont i try that. its annoying. sort it out!

 

[MissSlinky2011]

Dear husband,

Why wait until the gorgeous border collie puppy you told me we could foster with a view to rehome has made me fall in love with him do you decide to tell me you don't want us to have two dogs?

Yes your reasons are valid but he looks at me with those big brown eyes and it melts my heart, I can here him crying downstairs now because he doesn't want to sleep alone. I know your scared our dog will hurt him but have some faith they have only been play growling, my mums peakingese would tear chunks of hair out of each other when I was little when they played! They would be fine sleeping in the kitchen together and I would bet you £10 in the morning they would have been in the sane basket but you won't listen to me!

Yes I work 2 nights a week and it would be hard on you and the dogs without me but I already walk cybi 2 hours a day adding another dog would change nothing and we already agreed to take cybi to agility when the weather warms up!

I know your worried I'm replacing babies with dogs because were struggling and no I didn't realise I had the puppy sleeping on me and I was holding him like a baby, but I promise I'm not trying to use dogs as a replacement I just really love dogs!

Next time tell me how you really feel before I get carried away!

Yours
A very unhappy and heart broken wife who's is going to have to find a new home for the cutest puppy I've seen since cybi.

P.s YOUR MEAN

Sent from my HTC Desire using MiniMins x x x

 

[Isis51]

Dear toothache,

Go away. I can't take anything to make you better and I really didn't want to spent my day off at the dentist seeing as last week I spent it recovering from the cold I couldn't take anything for!

Thank you.

Dear pregnancy sickness,

See toothache.

Likewise... xx

 

[GothGoddess]

Dear Dean (again!)...
Please stop coming out with all that rubbish when you are deep in your cups... It hurts mate, you don't know how much, but it does, I am now considering walking away from our friendship, because I no longer want to be around you when you drink too much, we used to have fun, I used to trust and cherish time spent with you, now you get drunk, and nasty to me, I have been through enough just lately, if you can't be nice to me, just don't be around me, and don't be nice to me sober and nasty to me drunk... Thank you...

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins

 

[KittenKat]

Dear friend who used to be more than that years ago

It's really nice to be back in touch with you after all these years and reminiscing on the past and what we used to have and how I made you feel has really boosted my confidence (and ego!). Thanks for putting a smile on my face last week and making me realise that I am a great person and that I'd let my ex change me into a different person, but the real me was still there.

However, don't expect to get away with not being forthcoming about your current situation (i.e. your marriage and whether it's still in one piece or not) and expect to come visit me for a booty call! Not happening! You of all people should know that I don't play those games! Make up your mind - either or, not both!

 

[Lauratheloop]

Dear Fat....

In case of emergency (this time has now come) please find the emergency exits to the front, to the side and to the back!! If you could form an orderly queue and remain calm upon your exit I would be much appreciated, a life jacket will be unavailable at this time as you basically never paid for your airfair just insisted on hijacking my body and hitchhiking a ride for the Last 6 years.... Please note this flight has now been terminated!!!

Yours kindly
The slim girl suffocated by your presence

 

[.Nicki.]

Dear Beloved Husband,
I know that I hate my job and that it makes me ill, I know you hate that i've worked there for 3 years and am still on minimum wage and that I could do better. But please realise that this is the first place I managed to stay at after a breakdown where i didn't leave the house for almost 2 years and the thought of leaving, even for a better job is daunting for me.

I know you have my best interests heart but you're putting a lot of pressure on me, I'd love this new job, but I don't think I can handle an interview.

I hate disappointing you,

Love your ever anxious wife

 

[MissSlinky2011]

Dear oh,

I hope you can see Scamp the puppy fast asleep on me and the amazing welcome we received this morning, you shouldn't have told me we could keep him and then changed your mind because I've treated him like ours now and its not fair on Scamp or me I've been crying all morning thanks to you

I don't know if I can forgive you for this you know its going to break my heart when a stranger comes to take him away.

Yours

A very angry and upset wife.

Sent from my HTC Desire using MiniMins x x x

 

[hannata]

Dear monday,

What did you do to Saturday, please bring him back?


Many thanks

 

[kingleds]

Dear head

Hangovers do not last 2 days. Sort it out please. I have daytime tv to watch

Yours, rest of body

 

[LittleFlutterby]

Dear get-up-and-go

Please come back! I need you!

 

[Maximus]

Dear British Medical Association

If smoking is bad for you, how come it cures fish?

Disgruntled, Gateshead.

 

[conlou1]

dear evil clamper guy
i have no idea why you thought it was necessary to physically attack my almost 60 year old father as he was getting in his car to move it after you told him he was parked in the wrong place...he was getting in his car to move it, did you really have to slam the door into his chest and wrestle the keys out of his hands then clamp his car, then tell him you couldnt unclamp it for 2 days?? what was the need you stupid ar5e wipe? well, he ended up in hospital and has now gone to the police so not only are you going to lose your job but the videos youve been putting of yourself on youtube clamping people and behaving like a total tool will be used against you in court and i hope you get sent down, you horrid vile person.