Dear people at work,
Christmas has not come as a surprise to any of us. It is on the same day each and every year, as is Christmas eve. Therefore, why ask for your Christmas shifts to be cancelled the day before? You're lucky I didn't get the request, because I would have refused due to the fact that as it stands, we are severely understaffed, and I am working most of Christmas day

You got the nice boss, not the mean one, so think yourselves lucky!
And dear friends,
Whilst I appreciate your gifts for me (I opened them already!), please don't tell me what you were gonna get me! The thoughtfulness of the gifts you were gonna get made me cry when I got in, and then I had to explain to him indoors why I was crying, and I felt like a right dufus!
And dear lady in Argos yesterday,
Shouting at the dude behind the counter ain't gonna magically make something appear which isn't in stock. It just makes you look like a prat.
And dear B&Q,
Why did you have to have all your decorations at 75% off yesterday, and your real Christmas trees for 1p? £26.26 later, I own most of your stock, and my mother now has a real tree sat outside! I could have used that £26.26 on something else, darn you and your shiny sparkly pretty Christmas decorations!
Lots of love and Merry Christmas to you all x