right im going to have to have a rant now sorry
dear husband
i have had something close to flu (i wont say flu as i have had this once and was hallucinating and lost 3 days of my life and could have sworn i could see the light) and have been very poorly on top of having 2 nights of crap sleep, the first night i had 4 hours the 2nd 40 minutes due to our 2 very poorly daughters, who by the way are 50% yours...not just mine so you should do 50% of the looking after them when off work, anyhoo, you have really really upset me by being a total pigface ball bag and being nothing short of vile and grumpy to me all because i have been very ill and you had to get up with our 2 munchkins at 8.30am after a full 8 hours undisturbed sleep might i add. was there a need to wake me to ask if i am going to get up with them? then when i cough spluttered and sneezed a reply of could you please get up with them, did you really have to stamp your feet like a 10 year old around the bedroom, slam the bedroom door and continue this pattern of loudness for a whole hour downstairs?? then when i got up to take medicine did you have to proceed to have a go at me and tell me how i cant be ill cos i sat up til half past 12 the night before so therefore must be totally fine? THEN have a go at me constantly through the day and pick arguments for no good reason? i hope you get this cold and that it makes you cry the way you have made me cry today 3 times. you utter kn0b.
dear son,
i know you dont feel too good, but mama feels bad too, your 13 and when you are stood next to the sink and a mere 2 foot away from the toilet downstairs, why oh why did you decide to run into my hall like a drama queen and proceed to vomit all over my cream carpet? THEN instead of heading out the front door or back to the room with the vinyl flooring and the sink in it did you try to run up the stairs while vomiting? leaving a massive trail of red lumpy vomit for me to clean up? i love you muchly and hope you feel better soon but perhaps next time i say 8 hours straight on your ps3 will give you a migraine as you are prone to them maybe you will actually not believe me to be talking utter rubbish, i have the sick on the carpet to prove it..thanks for that
dear stupid husband again
when i am eating my tea, after waiting all day on a morsel of food before getting weighed so im famished, and our son starts throwing up in the hall it would be much appreciated if you didnt start having a go at me saying 'well im sorry but i cant clean it up ill be sick' and then start freaking out and shouting even more when i say im eating my tea and im ill you will have to do it, making me leave my tea and spend the next 30 minutes scrubbing the carpets and swilling outside where he had also puked. i actually think you have behaved like a total ar5e since christmas day and if you carry on i am seriously going to pack a bag and stay with my mother until your head has been removed from your bottom.
yours a very very peed off and poorly mother and wife
dear christmas
you are stupid, i hate you, i have gained 5 and a half pounds in 1 week, i refused lots of yummy food in the hope of a small gain but no, still a huge whopper cos apparently christmas means put extra super concentrated fat into everything. i am not happy, i weighed this weight 3 months ago and now it is going to take forever to get back off. oh and while were having words thanks for making my hubby miss his father and take it out on me and the children. so nice of you. please dont bother visiting next year unless you are going to bring me a nice 2 week holiday for 1 to the bahamas. or a box at the end of the garden to put the hubby in...either will do