Day Off today...(from work)
I finished the show and got home at 12pm last night, and woke up far too early today but am only sitting catching up on Hollyoaks
Think Im going insane at the min, one second I am super happy, then the next I want to kill someone, I dont even feel its to do with the diet, I just keep feeling rejected by everyone!!
I feel so pathetic!! Yesterday, my sister called about the bridemaid dresses, 2 of the bridesmaid were being measured for a dress that she has now chose (this dress being chose purely because of me, which really annoys me!) and whilst speaking she said, 'we decided we are going to put make up on your tattoo on your foot, as we dont want it being seen on our photos' so I said ' but thats part of me, so Im not happy about it' so she said ' well we dont want it seen'.....yeh, thanks for that!!
Then my friends really leave me feeling left out at times, I really dont know if they make enough effort for me, my OH gets really annoyed as he feels its all very one sided, in that I am making effort and they never do' I wish it didnt bother me, but how do you change the way you think but keep them in your life?? I think its just us getting older and not having much time for one another, but yesterday my 'supposed' best mate said ' were all in relationships now, its not as easy' I said, why does that make a difference, you have been married for 8/9 yrs, I have been with my OH for 7yrs?' of course no response!!
Just upsetting when the people you wanna rely on are either so occupied by weddings they forget who you are, and for friends to not really see how much has changed and help us all move onwards with it.
On the plus side, yesterday I rocked the diet! Friday I had a sandwich, then beans on toast for dinner, and a couple of cookies, (my weigh day treat that I need to stop doing) so yesterday I knew I had be strict, inbetween the shows, the cast had fish and chips, there was at least 16 people around me munching away on them whilst I sat and sniffed
then when I got home OH wanted a Maccy 'ds I went and got it and didnt have a thing
I did consider it, but realised I was tempted but not actually hungry so therefore made the right choice