JanD (Another) New Year (Another) New Start :o)) x

[JanD]

Molly I would happily pay for some if YOUR mojo!!

And thanks Bev ... I'll be glad not to have a secret any more ... It's quite stressful!!! x

 

[summergurl]

Just sort it out when your back hun
Hope tonight goes well! Xxx

 

[summergurl]

How did it go hun? xxx

 

[JanD]

Not exactly according to plan. While I was at the bar John decided to open some presents (plain WRONG! should have waited for me to be there anyway!) and he opened one of my daughter's presents to him which was a Malta guide book .... I was pig sick having kept the secret for 3 months but she was so mortified i had to make light of it for her sake. It was John's fault when all said and done.
Anyway - he's really pleased and we're off tomorrow.
I'm v v v v v annoyed with myself - this is the heaviest I've been going on holiday for 4 years. I feel AWFUL! I've had to go out and buy a pair of shorts today. It's my own fault and I'm trying to see it as a lesson for the future. I'll do my best to let go of the negative feelings at least for the duration of the holiday - I don't want to spoil it for myself never mind for John! I'll just hve to get to grips with things once I'm back.

The other thing that's worrying me a bit right now is that I got another emergency call to look after one of the little ones today - he couldn't go to school coz he'd been up vomiting all saturday night and they have to be clear 48 hrs before going back to schoolI When I got there to mind him i found I had his brother as well as he'd been up all last night. They were both fine by lunchtime so it seems to be a short term thing but .... as the evening's gone on I'm feeling quite sick myself! Nooooooooo

Anyhoo - just have to wait and see.

I shouldn't think I'll be posting again before we go so I'll 'see' you on or around the 23rd! Take care and try not to miss me tooo much xx

 

[summergurl]

Oohhh noooo!! What a bummer he found out that way!

Aww defo treat it as a lesson then Jan. just make sure you enjoy your holiday and don't let it dampen your time away!!

Have a brilliant time. Looking forward to seeing the pics xxxx

 

[JanD]

Thanks Tan ... I must say it makes me wonder .... I feel so blooooody awful - how on earth did I manage to carry on gaining all the way up to over 4 stone more than I am now??!! I'm surprised i didn't burst!! Lol! x

 

[irish molly]

Jan, just go and enjoy your break. When you get back you can address the weight issue. I hope you have not picked up the kids' bug!!
You've had a busy and stressful enough time so relax and chill in Malta!!

 

[MiniB]

Keeping my fingers crossed you haven't picked up the kids' bug! You don't want that going away.

Have a fantastic time and don't let anything ruin your holiday, just enjoy it and deal with "issues" when you get back. Have fun!!

 

[JanD]

Fortunately I hadn't picked anything up from the boys! Mind you if I had maybe I wouldn't have eaten as much - lol!!

I decided I was going to get to grips with myself today (friday) this being my first night back at work. I was very tempted not to get weighed but to go by my clothes as I knew it was going to be horrendous and I'd be very annoyed with myself. However - just before I started my first coffee this morning I decided I would face the music so that I'd be able to see how much I lose in the next serveral weeks. I had already decided that instead of thinking I've got 10 days till my birthday and then a wedding 4 days after that, I'm going to go straight through those events - ignoring them as far as possible which gives me 6 full weeks till I have a week off work when I'm hoping to take my Mum away somewhere. Then after that 7 weeks till we go to Kefalonia. I'm very embarrassed to have to own up to being 11st 10.8lbs . That's a gain of 9.8lbs in the last 24 days since I last weighed. I feel dreadful but it's my own fault and I just have to get on and sort it out!!

If I'm not under 11st by my 'end of TFR' anniversary on 15th June (which would virtually be a miracle!) I shall remove my 'maintainer' badge until I'm back down to 10st 7lbs. I want to be around 10st 1 or 2 by the time we go to Kef.

So wish me luck folks and don't shake your heads at me too much - you can't be any more disappointed in me than I am in myself!!

I don't know when I'll get weighed next week. Friday - which will be the 1st week done, I'll be in bed - and saturday, so it'll probably be either sunday or go back to mondays.

I feel better now I've 'confessed' - shameful as it feels!! xx

 

[summergurl]

Aww we're not disappointed and were not shaking our heads at you!! silly woman ;-)

Did you enjoy Malta? Was it lovely and hot? Despite the wind at the races :giggle:

Xxxx

 

[JanD]

I had a nice enough time thanks ... it was sunny but it was very windy and therefore rarely particularly hot. John did 4 dives and we did lots of sightseeing. He enjoyed it and that was the point xx

 

[irish molly]

I'm glad you enjoyed your holiday. Now you're back and hope to address your gain. I know you will apply yourself to the task in hand. Are you going to follow a particular diet or will you do TFR this time?
You're great for getting back to it so soon after your break. Well done Jan!

 

[JanD]

I had to Molly ... or I'd have been into the NEXT stone!!

I'm using up the products I've got in for now so effectively TFRing I guess - I'll decide what to do after that when they're coming to an end. I wish I hadn't let it get to this stage but I was aware what was happening - just couldn't seem to control it!! It's frightening just how quickly good work can be undone and very frustrating how long it takes to do the good work all over again!!

Still - here goes xx

 

[irish molly]

I hear you Jan!! I know that if I let things slip for more than a week or so the pounds pile on!! Yes, then the guilt comes and the knowledge that I must undo the damage. I really try to keep within my ten pound tolerance range otherwise I feel I'd be on the slippery slope to blubber land.
Well done for getting back control and good luck for your TFR stint! I know you can do it.

 

[JanD]

Thanks Molly

I know i can do it too - I'm just p'd off that I have to! I have no idea why I was totally unable to get my mojo back properly after Christmas and The Maldives meaning that this holiday felt like a REALLY fat one!! Come to think of it I never lost all I put on on holiday last September before Christmas, so the last time I was on top of it was really last August! Flippin' 'eck!!
I too try to stick within a certain poundage but it just got away from me and I seemed unable to do anything about it .... I'd love to know what goes on at the subconscious level that controls all this.

Well hopefully I'm on the way now. I feel strong and as though my birthday and the wedding I'm going to next week won't stop me. The only thing I'm a bit concerned about is offending my art teacher who has become a good friend. She always makes a fuss of people's birthdays and will no doubt have a cake and other goodies - which is lovely - but I know she won't understand me not having ANY. It obviously irritates her on normal weeks when I don't have the biccies & stuff she provides. I may have to feign feeling a bit 'off' so's not to offend - she has no time for meal replacements either . I just know that if I DO have that 'one little piece that wouldn't hurt' ... I will end up stuffing my face for the rest of the day and then the rest of the week till the wedding 4 days later!! (I so wish I wasn't like this and wish I knew how to do something about it!! ) xx

 

[summergurl]

How about saying you've just stuffed a big birthday meal with DH and youll take a slice of cake etc home with you for later then let DH have it? Xxx

 

[JanD]

Oooooo nice one!! I do hate telling porkies but sometimes needs must!! xx

 

[MiniB]

Glad to have you back Jan and glad you enjoyed your time away.

You'll get on top of this gain in no time, you always do. Good luck with the TFRing, you can do it!!

 

[JanD]

Thanks Bev

Doing okay up to now - it took 3 days before I felt hungry - just shows how stuffed I'd been! I was very tempted to have a l'il voddie in my coke zero last night & tonight but I haven't & I'm back in work tomorrow so safely no alcohol!! xx

 

[MiniB]

Good for you Jan for steering clear of the voddie! I bet you feel so much better already doing the TFR. It's just something I feel when starting TFR, it's as if you're letting your body know you're really trying to sort the problem out, just give it time.

Keep up the good work, you'll be in that weight bracket you want in no time.