Jobs, dogs and dates. You're doing ace!
Wow,
it serves me right for not getting on here every day but I've just read through your diary for the last few days and don't know where to start!!
So.. first things first.... hiya, glad that despite work, kids, half-term and life in general, you are doing great!
According to Isobel I am now 11 stone 3! Why do I still feel 13 stone 3? Maybe its because I'm mostly wearing the same clothes or I don't think I actually look any different.
Maybe it's because you simply aren't seeing the real you in the mirror and are used to being 13stone 3 and so this 2 stone loss is a real foreign concept to you? I never see myself as I am in a mirror (sadly I am deluded the other way! lol
) Don't worry about it, do wear some totally different clothes though, ones that fit rather than hang
The new girl at work started today. She's lovely but she's kind of stick thin so I felt huge next to her. I can imagine though that even if I do get down to her size then I'm still going to feel bigger. I'm so glad I lost so much weight before she started or I'd have felt even worse.
How lovely that you like her and feel good about your weight loss too!
Remember hun, it isn't a competition between you and the rest of the world.
So she's thin...so what... so are bazillions of women and no 2 of them are exactly the same, and you
are skinny compared to someone my size.. so it's all relative and you are getting there and when you do, you won't be exactly the same as anyone else either, because, thank goodness, we are all created as gloriously individual and different!
Isobel said something today about my job being a great way to meet people which I'd never thought of it as that before. In my mind anyone going in there would just think I'm the fat lass in the sandwich shop who's too dumb to get a decent job anywhere else so she has to work for her mam. They have no idea I just spent the last 3 years at university, or that I actually have a personality or that I can actually do more than just make food. I hate that. I'm embarrassed that people insist on saying something about my mam and dad. For a start he isn't my dad and for another thing I don't call my mam mam I call her by her name. I don't need it pointed out to me what our relationship is and I dont need everyone else knowing thats why I work there and think badly of me because of it. It drives me mad. Is it bad that I'm ashamed of my job? I know it's not a bad job, but I wanted more for myself than to be stuck cooking and cleaning for the rest of my life. I wanted a decent job where I could sit at a desk and use my brain and have someone else do the cooking and cleaning for me. Now theres no chance of that. I'll be stuck earning a pittence forever and will never have anything more than the cheapest stuff cos thts all I can afford.
Oh sweetie - this made me feel really sad...
mainly because you sound
so fed up of what you are doing and your reasons for doing so.. what I don't understand (and maybe you have said somewhere else)... why do you
have to work there? How old are you
You have a fabulous personality and loads of skills and qualifications... so... if you WANT to change then do it! It is YOUR life when all's said and done. You don't get a second crack at it, this is it.. no trial runs!
Why is there no chance of you doing what you want and achieving your aspirations?? Without being harsh, so it's a family business, so what
- it doesn't mean you are tied to it all your life hun.. if it's a case of keeping everyone else sweet then sod 'em... would they live their lives in abject misery for your sake?? NOOO and if they would then they are WRONG!
I'm sorry,, but it's taken me years to realise that life is far too precious and far too short to waste being in a job that makes you so sad.
I'm sorry if that sounds like a lecture but, well, you are in charge of your own destiny - we all make choices in our lives... and we have to live with the consequences BUT we can choose how we deal with those and so the choices continue....
As for people who comment on your parents.. they're probably completely in the dark about how you feel and about all your pent up frustrations about it all too, so, I guess that unless they are all Mystic Meg
that you're gonna have to bite the bullet when they whitter on moronically!
Anyway - that's me in full-blown mother mode! lol Forgive me if I have over-stepped the mark. I just get a bit carried away - feel free to tell me to sod off!
Onto other things... poor puppy, is he better yet? Injections are a pain and costly! The other thing is you have to keep having them done or they have to start all over again! Ah dogs - bless 'em!
Ohh a date! Fabbo!!!
Hope it's excellent!! (hope to read about it on here too!
)
You are doing so well... 11stone 3... my goodness... I have to lose
you yet!!!
As for the cleaning of carpets etc.. our local supermarket hires out carpet cleaners (if you wanted a more economical solution) so that might be an idea...?
Sorry I've gone on loads but I had to catch up ! Dunno about you but I've found my housework is getting easier!!
Take care - will pop on again and see what you're up to!
