my diary ~ no more CD for me

I'm craving food now too. I have nothing in though so would have to go out to buy something. I still want that spaghetti carbonara *drool*
 
lol you're right. I've gone without it this long I can manage a bit longer. Might treat myself to it for my birthday when I shuldn't have to worry about staying in ketosis any more (I hope)

10 stone 8 this morning woohoo. I might actually get into the 9's for christmas now :) with any luck I'll be 10 7 tomorrow (wishful thinking I know) then if I can lose 3 1/2 lbs the next 2 weeks then I'll definately get there, and I will be looking fabulous in my moschino dress. I just thought laast night I'm going to need one of thse short cardigan things to keep me warm but show off my figure (thats the whole point of it isn't it/ to show off my figure) No one will be telling me I need to lose weight this year and if they do I might just get violent lol As long as I'm below 10 stone 1 I can say with all confidence I don't need to lose weight as I am not overweight by medical standards. I'm hoping just knowing that myself will give me some extra confidence. It is good to know I'm so close. In September I was just thinking it would be great to be in a size 14 for christmas and now I'm almost in a size 10! It would be extra wonderful if I just had the money to by new clothes and throw out all my old ones that are too big.

I just thought! after tomorrow I'll only see Isobel 2 more times before Christmas! The 3rd time should be boxing day but thats not going to happen lol Christmas is scarily close now.

I still have a sore throat and everything I wish it would just go away. I meant to get up early this morning, loads to do but I didn't get to sleep till about 2 and then the dog started barking in the middle of the night so I had to get up and sort him out then took me ages to get me back to sleep again, so I didn't get up till after 10! I thought I'll have a sit down and write in here for a little while then I'll have to tidy up and put the christmas decorations up and paint twins room (still havent done that yet) and still have to wrap presents, oh and havent got my nieces birthday present for last friday yet! Oh and the dog needs to go out for a walk. I dont think I'll take him out as long as yesterday I just don't have the time for it. It was a nice walk apart from the dogs biting him. Where I live there are 2 big national heritage parks with forests and everything, there's also the river to walk alongside. they're all within 5 minutes walk from my house and there's another big park 5 minutes drive from my house so there's definately no shortage of lovely places to go for walks. I must admit though until I got the dog I hadn't bothered exploring much of it at all. So now when we go out I let the dog pick which path to take and just see where we end up. The kids love doing that they think it's a wonderful adventure going through all these tree's and have to work out where we're going to end up. It does mean that we can't do that if we have to be back home by any particular time because since we don't know where we're going to end up we don't know how long it's going to take to get home. Oh I forgot there's the wildfowl park too, don't know if dogs are allowed there though in case they scare the wildfowl.

I'm so happy I've managed to get back into the diet, it really does make a difference to see those pounds coming off again. I think I might be a bit sad to have to stop and to think of proper meals again instead. and I'll have to go shopping more :( and cook and wash more dishes, urgh.

oh well, I supose I must make a start and get things done before the kids come home. I need to find the missing Dr Who advent calendar that is amongst all the christmas presents too and the christmas tree is hiden under them too. Oh and i dont think the fairy lights will be working so will hav to sort them out.
 
You sound like a happy bunny Nikki, and rightly so! Well done! YOu will look fabulous whether you lose any more weight or not! Have fun sorting the Christmas stuff out! I haven't even thought about decs and lights yet! eek! Well done and keep at it! You're doing SO well. xx
 
Just dropping in.

Think you're doing brilliantly- a big massive WELL DONE on the weight and dress size and I'm so glad you're sounding positive.

Can't wait to see a photo of you in that Moschino dress.

Your perserverance just shows how determined you are-despite all the obstacles, you're still carrying on and it's paid off.
 
I am a happy bunny :) AND DEFINATELY NOT PUTTING YOU TO SHAME Isobel, at least the first time you did the diet you didn't keep eating stuff like I have been!

I tried my dress on today and you know what? I DO look fabulous in it lol. My belly still sticks out a bit but I think it always will do. Thats just the way it is and after years of being over weight and having 3 kids (including a set of twins!) my belly is never going to be perfect. I turned sideways and looked at myself in the mirror (and breathed in) and couldn't believe how thin I actually looked. I really need a bra with the dress now too lol last time I tried it on it was so tight around my boobs they weren't going anywhere whether I wore one or not. Now they need something to hold them up. the higher they are the smaller my waist looks lol.

I'm actually a bit fed up with my waist though, it's not decreasing along with the rest of me. I have size 10 hips and a size 14 waist! not a good match. However, when I measured it today if I held the measuring tape tight it was 27 inches loose it was 30 inches! so I can get the 10's fastened but they're a bit tight. So I'm hoping it's going to start coming off my waist and my calves soon (please,please,please) I'm happy with the way everything else is shrinking. Ok maybe my boobs could shrink a bit more but I'd rather lose my belly and calves first.

Even though I've been happy with the weightloss today I've been absolutely starving, so made myself a dinner of chicken sprouts and asparagus, mmmm. wasn't enough thugh, still hungry. I've just had some hot chocolate but still want more. I'll be 2 lbs heavier by tomorrow just because of the food in my stomach lol.

After posing in front of the mirror in my dress and things I ended up watching pride and prejudice (how long is that film?!) so haven't really done anything other than tidy up a bit, wash dishe, wash clothes and put the christmas tree up. so I am not going to get much else done before the kids come home. Must go out and buy them some food though. The supermarkets will be closed by now though so will have to go to the co op, thats open till 10 but more expensive.

The dog thought the tree was wonderful. Lets hope he doesn't think it's real and wee against it. I caught him weeing against the tilet earlier aaaargh! thankfully it's not going to soak into the floor now and is easily cleaned up in there but I really need to work out how to stop him doing it. He would't go outside this morning because it was too windy and raining, grrr. He took one step outside then went running back in and refused to budge hence using the toilet as a toilet.

I have decided Mr cinema, I mean Dave is going to get the sack. He's not good enough for me and doesn't give me enough attenton so I don't want anything more to do with him. Mr Mechanic does nothing for me any more either but could come in handy if my car breaks down (cant afford to join AA or anything) so I'll keep him handy lol. The bloke who lives in my street and was tryng to get me to see him, has revealed he has a girlfriend so he can leave me alone as well. I also told the bloke who has been trying with me for the past 4 or 5 years or so that he can leave me alone too. I told him I found him intimidating and it would never work between us because of that. Apparently he's ben told that before and been called a bully as well (so he told me) so I think I've done the right thing there. It was never going to happen anyway I dot know why he didnt give up years ago.

And now my friend who I'm going to see Keane with has been saying things lke it'll be great when we see them just because I'll be with him. Hmm I really want to go but not sure it's such a good idea now he's saying hings like that. I'll have to go it's cost too much for the tickets to suddenly say oh I don't want to go now and not very fair on him cos it was my idea to go in the first place (I can't afford 2 tickets myself and no one else to give one too, plus I can't really be cheeky enough to ask him for his ticket just cos I don't want to go with him any more) He asked yesterday how many times I could have pulled when I was out on friday night, so I said none, no one is interested in me. His reply to that was he should go there one night cos it must be full of really really top totty (charming!) if I don't get look in. Sweet of him but still going to get him nowhere. (I did actually get chatted up by an 18 year old but he's a bit tooooo young)

I'm trying to remember who the 6th bloke is now. Oh yeah I remember, told him to leave me alone as well cos I'd had enough. So down to just one admirer now, howwill I ever cope without all the attention? lol. My phone bill will be cheaper for a start!

So, thats like 2 wardrobes being cleared out. One full of big clothes, one full of men. I need much better things to replace them with now. I'e had enough of making do wih what I can have now I have to go for what I want. Wish me luck lol
 
Oh thanks Kate, didn't see your post before I started writing my epic chapter there. I never gave a thought to phoos of me in the dress eek! lol. I was thinking of wearing it to the VFBC in January so you will get to see it there if I don't get any pictures of me. Maybe I'll be brave and take a photo anyway :)
 
Hey hun. ur doing fab....clearing out those useless blokes feels great...remember they dont deserve to be with you when ur looking fab in that dress....you need someone mantastic who always makes you top of their list and puts you and your kids first....otherwise they arent worth you wasting your time your energy or your emotions on!!

There better be a pic of that dress! I want to see it, since I wont be at your mega booze up!!
 
lol ok ok I'll have to work out how I can take a picture of me in it for you. It's not that spectacular though just very er..figure hugging (meant to be though). I'll do it when I find some batteries for my camera.

The kids came straight home and started messing about with the tree grrr, theycan get out of that habit. I thought it was just the dog I was going to have to worry about not them. I did it in nothing but silver or clear decorations and my eldest son said it was lovely and we should keep doing it like that every year now. I usually kind of change it a bit every year just to make it a bit different but I like it as it is. The dog thought the baubles were fantastic and I had to keep chasing him round the house to get them off him but he's stopped now. We had a big fight over who got to have the Dr Who advent calendar. Next year I'm going to get them all the same one and write their names on so there's no fighting.

Had to brave the awful wind and rain to get food, got to the coop and it was shut!!!! looks like they're completely refurbishing the shop so I thought oh no where am I going to get food from, then remembered there's another co op not too far away so I went there and bought loads of stuff. Enough for breakfast and packed lunches for a few days anyway. Will still have to go out for stuff for tea unless they'll have beans on toast.

Must...drink....more....water..

I want a Mr Darcy for me! either this bloke in the newer film or Colin Firth will do, I'm not fussy
 
dont have long to write anything got to pick the twinlets up from school. Was disappointed when I got weighed this monring as I was 2lb heavir than yesterday!!! soooo not good. Isobels scales aren't magic any more :( At least it wasn't 2 stone I suppose.

Jennie, where are we oing to find ourself these Mr Darcy's? Do you want Colin and I'll have the new one? or wuld you prefr the other way around?
 
ok I'm back with children now. Stuffing their faces with sweets because they got hold of some money omehow. I didn't give them it. got none to give. Forgot to give them their dinner money today oops.

i should have really saved some money this morning and only got what I need for the rest of the week off Isobel instead of stocking up, but I want to make sure I have enough there over christmas without having to bother her. i can do without being weighed for a while its not that urgent to lose it quickly now. I do still want to lose more though.

I really need to lose my belly. I know I'm like a broken record going on about my belly but it's true. I pulled my top up and looked in the mirror and you can actually see individual ribs. So I'm thin enough there but my belly sticks right out under the ribs, yuk . I'm sure exercise will help a lot but not before christmas. I don't have time anyway. Have to go straight to work from dropping kids at school now then straight home to pick them up after work. I could do without the extra work but sooo desperate for the money.
 
Oh I should mention too I am sick to death of hearing how wonderful "dads" girlfriend is. Not my dad, the kids dad. She has the best of everything apparently. I was told today I should get some better fairy lights cos she has better ones. Grrrr. Maybe if their dad gave me a half decent amount of money for the kids and helped toward paying for the house he's claiming he deserves half of then I might be able to afford better ******* fairy lights!!!!
 
Good idea Kazz thanks. It just bugs me that he gives me a pittance that dosn't even cover the cost of their school meals yet he has all this money he can afford to take them out all over the place with her and her kids, I can't do anything with them because I just can't afford it.
 
Ah hun I know how ye feel, I remember wen my ex was taking me to court all the time, he was made to pay me a measly €10 a week maintenance, yet spent so much money socialising and I was skint....its hard when they have more money, but remember the most important thing is that no matter wat he has, that your kids know how much they mean to you and how much you love them. I have seen with other people, in particular a very good friend of mine, that all the money in the world wont buy a childs love
 
yeah but they will soon realise that sometimes just knowing your safe secure and loved is better than all the fun him & her can buy....and when theres 2 people together there is always more cash to splash about

When you get to where you want to be, and are feeling fab about yourself your life will all fall into place babes....you could meet your own personal mr darcy who will treat you and your kidz like royalty!!
 
lol I hope so! Must buy new underwear first though lol. Thats one thing I haven't bought so far is new underwear because er not many people get to see it. Apart from when my trousers are falling down like today and show them off! (thats the size 12 ones falling down!!!! they're loose 12's though) I was getting wrong at work for having my knickers on show, but the thing is as the trousers fall down the knickers come further up cant win so I've been having to pull my knickers down a bit to try and keep them covered. But when I pull my trousers up I end up pulling them up too. So, I need new knickers and new bras so I don't keep falling out.

When i bought my size 12 stuff at the charity shop not so long ago I bought a gorgeous principles top thing that was a size 10 in anticipation of being a 10. Afterwards I started thinking what did I buy that for I'll never get into it, but I dared to try it on last night and it fit perfectly!!!! I never imagined I would ever actually get into something like that. It is wonderful :)
 
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