my diary ~ no more CD for me

Mr Mechanic deserves everything he gets now. I've had enough of him and his lies he's pushed me too far to want anything more to do with him. But it still doesn't stop any feelings just cos I dont ant anything more to do with him

Isnt it such a pity we cant turn our feelings on and off like a tap. Your far too good for the likes of him hun
 
thanks Kazz. for once I agree without hesitation.

ack was talking to the bloke I'm going to see keane with and mentioned I will be out in town on saturday so then he decided he will be there about 9 and wants to meet up for a drink. I told him no cos I dont want him to come but since he knows he might just turn up. Although, the amount of pubs on the quayside he's never going to find us unless he's very lucky. I just want to enjoy myself without anyone hassling me. Is that too much to ask???
 
Eh.....it seems that it is probably too much to ask!!

At one stage last week I resorted to my alter ego coming out to play cos I was getting so much attention.....Katrina is a lot of fun, but she talks some amount of bullsh*t!! I think she was training to be a massuese last week....ok, now I just sound a bit mental!!

Anyway, if Keane bloke finds you, then so be it, even if he does, just let your hair down and have a ball hun...we all deserve a good night out!!
 
lol an alter ego sounds like fun! maybe I should get one of those too. I'll call her Natalie (is that how you spell it?) Natalie is much nicer than Nichola anyway. (and its what one of my neighbours calls me)

I'm sure it'll be a great night out anyway, will probably see at least one person I know there anyway
 
Alter egos are great fun!! I know it just makes me sound mental, but honestly, you can be whoever or watever you want to be, have a bit of fun and then get over it!! I remember being out one night when 'Katrina' came out to play...thing is, if you see someone again that 'Natalie' has met, you can honestly say its not you!!
 
lol good thinking!

I doubt I would do that really, I'm way too shy and have lost my natural ability to flirt (thats if I ever had one)
 
Everyone has a natural ability to flirt hun! Even if you dont know it!! TBH, Katrina evolved after I had Chloe when I got sick of meeting people and the conversation turning into a chat about Chloe when I was on a night out. Love my daughter to bits, but I am a separate person and Katrina has no kids, no responsibilites, she is just the flighty person I was before I had Chloe...ok, she has evolved a bit from the 18 yr old, but I'm sure you know wat I mean.
 
yeah I know what u mean about the conversation always turning to kids. people always want in depth explanations of how I had 3 kids within 12 months.

I dont mind too much now though cos if I meet a man and the conversation turns to the kids if thats going to scare him off then it might as well happen pretty quick so i can mov onto someone less fickle.

That reminds me, my mam was telling my grandma about the bloke who gave me chocolates at work, then came back with an expensive christmas card too. My grandma's reaction was " I bet he wouldn't if he knew she had 3 kids"
Thanks grandma!
 
maybe, still wasn't nice of her. she should marvel at how lovely and desirable her granddaughter is, with or without kids!

I know that it does put people off but not everyone
 
Well, I believe that when you are happy with yourself, someone who genuinely in interested in you will adapt to your circumstances.....But the key to it is to be happy with yourself, cos I know I aint completely happy with myself and thats why I am horrible to nice decent blokes!
 
yeah thats true that'll be why I allow people to treat me like ~@#;

That'll have to be my new years resolution, no more crap from anyone! I've started with 2 people this year already (1st day nearly over phew!) onder how many more it'll go up to by tomorrow night
 
Go to as many as necessary hun....I really wanna clear out all the garbage in my life and all the poisonous ppl around me...but am afraid that I will be left with noone!!! And then theres horrible people like my cousin that I cant pretend dont exist cos they're family!
 
well yes I feel like I'll be left with no one but family too. thats not a good thing to be thinking of is it. But we d have to do the best for ourselves even if it means starting over and finding new friends (god know where from)
 
oh dont mind grandma....she was probably a virgin when she got married and believes that sex outside the marital bed is a sin!

some would argue that this was a very effective and not an altogether out of date moral stance to this day though Kazz...;) ;)

and Nikki... all you have to remember about grandmas is they have an unwritten ability to put their mouths in gear before their brains.. I have one just the same!!

If a bloke is worthy of you then he will adore you and your kids... for many single guys a ready made family is a huge attraction.. the thing to remember is.. it takes all sorts (and no not Berties).. and there is someone out there who will be more than happy to fall in love with a woman who has the maturity of being a good and honest and independant parent.. and who is a loving mother.. so.. yes.. grandma was insensitive and downright rude.. but she is also wrong.. lol

Don't allow her negativity to bring you down :D

Totally agree with the comments about being happy with yourself. :D

Take care and see you Saturday!
 
hmm well i did marry their dad so it's not like I had 3 kids to different blokes by the time I was 20 or anything (would be a miracle if I did considering twins and all that) I just got married too young thats all.

I know having kids doesn't mean no one will ever want to be with me but I do know it puts some people off. Specially considering people think I'm in my early 20's so the type I'd attract woudnt want someone with 11 and 12 year old kids
 
I'm feeling a bit fed up today. The house is still a state. started cleaning and got overwhelmed and thought whats the point so had a chicken sandwich and came on here.

weighed myself and I'm 11 stone 5 aargh. thought of starting ss again but whats the point when I know i cant stick to it.
 
well when I weighed myself there it was middle of the day with clothes on, so weighed myself this morning before anything to eat or drink naked. So this morning I was 11 stone 2, thats what I've changed my ticker to.

My stomach feels like its getting huge I can't wait till after my birthday to do something about it any more. I know it's only 9 days but thnk of the damage I can do in that 9 days! going to get my little yellow book out now and make a decision from that about how I'm going to cut down the food. Got to up the water more than anything else, thta might stop me eating so much to start with.
 
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