Serena, for those of us who like chocolate it is not easy to have it looming at you from every shop window and supermarket shelf at this time of year... I feel your pain! I also know just how you're feeling with the mind games and battles, I am going through this too but I'm not at goal yet so very, very scared of losing the battle! And you have hit the nail on the head when you talk about wanting the comforting pattern of eat/feel better/feel self-hate and also that this is EASIER than facing what is really bothering us.
Don't know what I would do without your wise postings & willingness to share experience, really. It won't go wrong Serena as long as you are thinking about it and aware of it and finding ways to tackle the cravings. And you DON'T think too much, don't ever say that, your thoughts are keeping a whole raft of us going here on minis!!! We have to think for ourselves if we are going to succeed long term on any diet, surely? And feeling a danger zone looming is better than having it creep up unawares and ambush you.
Porge, your insights are great... I would give anything to feel that no food are off limits, but am a long way from that as yet. I've been there in the past - or thought I was - with chocolate. You don't much care anymore, feel that you could take it or leave it. So you take it. Fine. Then again, maybe a week later, fine again. Then - in my case - I wake up 6 months down the line with chocolate all over my face and three stone heavier, back in the grip of addiction again. So I know I have a long way to go on that, but I do dream of re-setting the old patterns and getting to that healthy place with food that you are. Your words & pics have inspired me from day one on Minis.
Serena, take care honey - if that chocolate starts calling out to you, stick your tongue out and run away. Hugs.
xxx