alexmummy07
Silver Member
Totally understand hun, hope to see you back very soon though, posting with lots of positive news! Big big hugs for you hun, and glad that it seems things are turning a corner for you x
SA's 810 and beyond diary a.k.a My daily kick up my own behind ;-)
- Thread starter Serena A
- Start date
aussieraquel
loving minimins!
Hey Serena, Will miss you around the forum. Thinking of you while you get in the right frame of mind again. You'll be right! xoxox
sleepybird
wants a pony
Take care of yourself lovely xxx
Serena A
Can't think of a title
Thanks for all your messages 
Gosh how Minimins has changed in just a few weeks...I feel as though I have been away forever
In the last few weeks I've gone up a dress size to a 10. If someone had told me last year that I'd be miserable to be in a size 10 I'd have thought they were barking! But my size is not the issue, it's the effect that it's had on my always-fragile self esteem.
I always smile wryly at the posts from people who say "when I lose the weight I'll never go back to my old ways because I was so miserable when I was fat that I could never let myself get to that stage again". The problem is if you do put on a few lbs, you can feel so mentally exhausted with the prospect of having to re-lose what you just worked so hard to diet off that it takes a long time to gear yourself up to "start again". And then you're so angry with yourself that you've been so dumb for putting on weight again that you feel miserable and helpless to change. And then you turn to food to both numb and justify the feeling of uselessness. And then beat yourself up mentally for being so weak. Rinse and repeat...
And of course those extra lbs are so sneaky. We all know the searing disappointment at "only" losing one lb. Well it works the other way too - when you "only" gain one 1lb post-binge you feel almost relieved to be let off so lightly. So you don't take too much notice of it...you'll deal with it next week. Another few bad days/PMT cravings/rows with the OH later and that solitary lb has been joined by another, then another...
Half a stone later and you're already feeling so useless about yourself that you give up caring. By the time you pull yourself out of the depths of self-pity it's too late - you're back to where you started.
Hey this is a happy post isn't it? Just needed to reinforce to myself in black and white how daft it all is, before I really do end up back to where I started...scary stuff.
I've decided to restart my diary so that I can enjoy some daily self-indulgent rambling rather than numb my brain with a packet of custard creams. Misery loves company so I'm going to keep things upbeat from now on...howzat?! :talk017:
Thought for the day:
"Tomorrow can start today"
Gosh how Minimins has changed in just a few weeks...I feel as though I have been away forever
In the last few weeks I've gone up a dress size to a 10. If someone had told me last year that I'd be miserable to be in a size 10 I'd have thought they were barking! But my size is not the issue, it's the effect that it's had on my always-fragile self esteem.
I always smile wryly at the posts from people who say "when I lose the weight I'll never go back to my old ways because I was so miserable when I was fat that I could never let myself get to that stage again". The problem is if you do put on a few lbs, you can feel so mentally exhausted with the prospect of having to re-lose what you just worked so hard to diet off that it takes a long time to gear yourself up to "start again". And then you're so angry with yourself that you've been so dumb for putting on weight again that you feel miserable and helpless to change. And then you turn to food to both numb and justify the feeling of uselessness. And then beat yourself up mentally for being so weak. Rinse and repeat...
And of course those extra lbs are so sneaky. We all know the searing disappointment at "only" losing one lb. Well it works the other way too - when you "only" gain one 1lb post-binge you feel almost relieved to be let off so lightly. So you don't take too much notice of it...you'll deal with it next week. Another few bad days/PMT cravings/rows with the OH later and that solitary lb has been joined by another, then another...
Half a stone later and you're already feeling so useless about yourself that you give up caring. By the time you pull yourself out of the depths of self-pity it's too late - you're back to where you started.
Hey this is a happy post isn't it?
Just needed to reinforce to myself in black and white how daft it all is, before I really do end up back to where I started...scary stuff.I've decided to restart my diary so that I can enjoy some daily self-indulgent rambling rather than numb my brain with a packet of custard creams. Misery loves company so I'm going to keep things upbeat from now on...howzat?! :talk017:
Thought for the day:
"Tomorrow can start today"
Sunshine Singer
Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic
Hiya,
I'm so pleased you're gonna be around again.
I can't know exactly how you feel but I do know I'm scared out of my head about putting the weight back on. Being close to goal has been a hard part of CD for me as it seems far away as I'm yoyoing up and down. I can't believe I'm a size 10 and have to keep reminding myself of this especially when I have fat days I now want to get to a size 8 and I can't wait. So i do understand the emotional hold it has on us when the lbs go up. It's taken so much to get rid of them...
Anyway you're normal and you're amazing. I'll be keeping up to date with your diary. You will be in control again as you're strong xxx
I'm so pleased you're gonna be around again.
I can't know exactly how you feel but I do know I'm scared out of my head about putting the weight back on. Being close to goal has been a hard part of CD for me as it seems far away as I'm yoyoing up and down. I can't believe I'm a size 10 and have to keep reminding myself of this especially when I have fat days
I now want to get to a size 8 and I can't wait. So i do understand the emotional hold it has on us when the lbs go up. It's taken so much to get rid of them...Anyway you're normal and you're amazing. I'll be keeping up to date with your diary. You will be in control again as you're strong xxx
Laura Croft
Happily maintaining
Welcome back young Jedi, I mean Serena. I'm only sorry you are back because of a bit of a gain but I'm sure the numbers will be going back down again soon. You were missed x
x
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Sunshine Singer
Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic
Hey Serena,
How are you getting on since you last posted here? Are you feeling in control again? Hope everything is going well for you.
Sending positive vives your way,
Hugs x
How are you getting on since you last posted here? Are you feeling in control again? Hope everything is going well for you.
Sending positive vives your way,
Hugs x
Serena A
Can't think of a title
I've had an okay day today. Not good, not bad, but okay which will do me just fine
Hubby and I have been decorating the rooms in the back of the house lately. For the past week we've been sleeping on the mattress which was plonked directly on the floor - it's not great to have spiders crawling across you during the night! Have probably consumed a few extra calories by swallowing the odd one Anyway having finished the decorating today I'll finally be back in my proper bed tonight which will be nice.
Foodwise today I have eaten blueberries with yoghurt for breakfast, soup for lunch, some choccy and an ice cream during the afternoon (I know, I know) and some mince with veg from the garden for dinner. Had around 1700 calories in total but compared with what I have been eating on some days that's actually quite good! Am all packed up and ready with healthy food to take to work tomorrow and will leave my money at home so I can't sneak off to the neighbouring Sainsbury's for a sneaky snack to numb the Monday blues.
Thought for the day (corny but so true):
"Fail to plan; plan to fail."
Hubby and I have been decorating the rooms in the back of the house lately. For the past week we've been sleeping on the mattress which was plonked directly on the floor - it's not great to have spiders crawling across you during the night! Have probably consumed a few extra calories by swallowing the odd one
Anyway having finished the decorating today I'll finally be back in my proper bed tonight which will be nice.Foodwise today I have eaten blueberries with yoghurt for breakfast, soup for lunch, some choccy and an ice cream during the afternoon (I know, I know) and some mince with veg from the garden for dinner. Had around 1700 calories in total but compared with what I have been eating on some days that's actually quite good! Am all packed up and ready with healthy food to take to work tomorrow and will leave my money at home so I can't sneak off to the neighbouring Sainsbury's for a sneaky snack to numb the Monday blues.
Thought for the day (corny but so true):
"Fail to plan; plan to fail."
Sunshine Singer
Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic
1700 is great. Well done. Have a good day tomorrow xxx
curlywurly1234
Cambridge Consultant
Hey Serena......
Just wanted to say hi........... and good on you for being back on track.. It must be hard when you look great and feel so good.. just like normal but then still have to be careful.....
I remember the messages you sent me at the beginning of my journey and you were always a big inspiration to me hon you have done so well..
Hope tomorrow brings you a great day hon.
Chin up your doing fab .. xxxx
Just wanted to say hi........... and good on you for being back on track.. It must be hard when you look great and feel so good.. just like normal but then still have to be careful.....
I remember the messages you sent me at the beginning of my journey and you were always a big inspiration to me hon you have done so well..
Hope tomorrow brings you a great day hon.
Chin up your doing fab .. xxxx
aussieraquel
loving minimins!
Hope all is well for you Serena!
curlywurly1234
Cambridge Consultant
Hope your having a good day today hon xxx
Serena A
Can't think of a title
Aww everyone is so lovely - thanks
I've had a good day today with my food - had fruit and yoghurt, soup, SF jelly and a cereal bar, then quorn sausages with veg. It's not my weight that bothers me so much as I still feel loads healthier and my asthma is still gone etc and health was the driving factor for me to lose weight. It's more the fact that I can go through phases where I just can't summon up the energy to give a damn about myself - you know what I mean? Like for many of us, my weight is merely an outward reflection of how I feel about myself inside and it's an issue I haven't yet conquered. Ah well, all part of the learning curve I suppose.
Thought for the day:
"Be as kind to yourself as you are to others."
I've had a good day today with my food - had fruit and yoghurt, soup, SF jelly and a cereal bar, then quorn sausages with veg. It's not my weight that bothers me so much as I still feel loads healthier and my asthma is still gone etc and health was the driving factor for me to lose weight. It's more the fact that I can go through phases where I just can't summon up the energy to give a damn about myself - you know what I mean? Like for many of us, my weight is merely an outward reflection of how I feel about myself inside and it's an issue I haven't yet conquered. Ah well, all part of the learning curve I suppose.
Thought for the day:
"Be as kind to yourself as you are to others."
