SA's 810 and beyond diary a.k.a My daily kick up my own behind ;-)

[KD]

Seeing someone else's excuses, issues and ultimately their success quieted the negative voices in my head and something has clicked for me today. I've eaten sensibly without having to battle with myself about it, and it's the first time I've felt that peace in a while.

Feeling good.

Sometimes it's the simplest things that get us back isn't it. Really pleased for you Serena...really, really pleased :clap:

 

[Serena A]

Thank you. It was seeing the excuses that did it. I have had my "good" days before now but I've been kicking and screaming all the way. Today I feel calm. And a little guilty actually - I'm hardly a good advert for following the CD steps up.

Although having said that, I know myself well enough to say hand on heart that if I'd left to go my own way any earlier I would have a) gained a good deal more weight than I have, and b) not wanted to at least try to sort it out. By doing the steps up I've set sail into rough seas but have given myself a lifeboat. Without doing the steps I'd have sank and drowned long ago...

 

[sleepybird]

Hey Serena, know where you are coming from sweets. This is the hardest bit for me, not losing weight but trying to have a normal relationship with food and not go back to pre CD binge/worry/gain/binge/worry/gain cycle i was in. I admire you deeply and at least you are honest enough to say that you aren't perfect and muddling through like the rest of us
Glad you are feeling more positive xxx

 

[Bess]

I ate mindlessly yesterday and felt so bad about that loss of control that come bedtime it stopped me from falling asleep. My mind kept whirling around all over the place - why did I keep doing this to myself? My pattern is to pause pre-binge, think about how useless I'd feel during and after, and yet get in the car and drive to the shops regardless, almost as if on autopilot. So there I lay last night, screaming at myself so loud inside my head that I couldn't get to sleep. After 2 1/2 hours of trying to drop off I got up, went to the living room and switched on the TV. So there I was at 2am watching a programme on Sky called X-Weighted which follows a person for 6 months whilst they try and lose weight/get fit. Seeing someone else's excuses, issues and ultimately their success quieted the negative voices in my head and something has clicked for me today. I've eaten sensibly without having to battle with myself about it, and it's the first time I've felt that peace in a while.

Feeling good.

That's fantastic! Well done you. So pleased for you.

 

[Laura Croft]

I hope you'll still stick around for a while Seriously, I'm really glad you are back on track and I also you are having a great weekend too x

 

[Serena A]

Hey Serena, know where you are coming from sweets. This is the hardest bit for me, not losing weight but trying to have a normal relationship with food and not go back to pre CD binge/worry/gain/binge/worry/gain cycle i was in.

Thanks Sleepy. Losing weight is definitely the easy bit (or at least losing it the first time is). I'm very good at losing weight, I'm very good at gaining weight, but rubbish at anything in-between! I suppose it's a bit like the opposite of love not being hate, but indifference. And being indifferent around food is blooming hard!

 

[Serena A]

Thanks Laura and Bess, I had another good day yesterday. xx

I was supposed to go shopping with my friend but at the last minute I was offered free tickets for the HEVY music festival in Folkestone so we both went there instead. Headliners were Feeder, Ash and Gary Newman - I'm gonna really show my age here and say that we were both rather excited about seeing Gary Newman! Anway, even a couple of days ago I'd have used the festival as a justification for eating rubbish all day but I didn't, which is good. It rained all night and we got drenched, there was hardly anyone there either, but we still had a good time.

Right, off to buy some groceries and enjoy a relaxing day.

Have a good one everyone

 

[alexmummy07]

Well done for getting back on track hun.
I am almost at the end of my first 100% day in about 10 days, and it does feel good. It hasn't been toooo hard either, and I feel better now it's almost over .

Here's to tomorrow being another good day xx

 

[Laura Croft]

Now I didn't ever imagine you at heavy metal concert. Well done. Sounds like you had a great time!

Really happy to see you are back on track. One day, hour, minute at a time x

 

[CeeKay]

Rock out hun! lol
sounds like a fab day!
x

 

[penny35]

Hi lovely one, dont forget me,lol

 

[Greeneyes11]

Hi Serena, please dont take this the wrong way, but seeing you struggling has really inspired me, when I read your posts before (when I was lurking) you seemed so in control of your weightloss and maintenance that I felt a bit of a failure, but your struggles have really helped to show me that we all go through these problems and that maintenance is a struggle for us all at first and maybe even for the longer term.... I dont mean this nastily, you have been a real inspiration and I am so glad that you have managed to get back on track... and wow, I would love to see Gary Numan, I used to love his music (showing my age too... lol). You are truly an inspiration to me and I am sure that keeping up with your diary will help me on my maintenance journey too..... thanks Serena and keep up the good work, you deserve it.

 

[Katycakes]

Hi Serena, just wanted to send a hug. You are a real inspiration and I know you will nail this challenge and find a happy, balanced way of eating. Seems like you are getting there. I feel much calmer too now... phew... hopefully good choices will follow. Saw Gary Numan last year... I always saw him as slightly naff (now that REALLY shows my age!) as he seemed the soft version of the post-punk musos, but one song and we were captured... he's fab.

Take care honey.

xxx

 

[Serena A]

Hi lovely one, dont forget me,lol

Helloooooo!!! :wavey:

Hi Serena, please dont take this the wrong way, but seeing you struggling has really inspired me, when I read your posts before (when I was lurking) you seemed so in control of your weightloss and maintenance that I felt a bit of a failure, but your struggles have really helped to show me that we all go through these problems and that maintenance is a struggle for us all at first and maybe even for the longer term.... I dont mean this nastily, you have been a real inspiration and I am so glad that you have managed to get back on track

No you don't come across as being funny at all, if anything I'll take it as a compliment! I hope I never came across as smug when I was in control, just posted how I was doing and I happened to be in a good place mentally at the time. But just as anyone can do well if they set their mind to it, it is also just as easy to come unstuck and I wanted to post about that too. If it helps just one person realise that maintenance is rarely as easy as "I'm sure I could never go back to my old ways" then that's good

I feel much calmer too now... phew... hopefully good choices will follow.

I'm so pleased to hear that you are feeling calmer too - it can really throw you can't it. Thanks for all your encouragement...as ever

 

[Serena A]

So...back to my diary! Still doing okayish - I don't feel so resentful/childish about having to put in an effort to get myself back where I want to be.

I've signed up to do a 10k run at the end of September, it's round Leeds Castle (near Maidstone) so it's a picturesque but challenging course - quite hilly I believe. I feel quite fired up about it as I will have to do a decent amount of training in order to get round in a respectable time...bring on the sore muscles!

 

[alexmummy07]

Hey,

Glad to see you are really back on the right track now, and it's not too much of a struggle at the moment.

Keep going, you know it pays off xx

 

[dreamingmaid]

Ooooh i love Leeds Castle...it's beautiful. 10K run? You're braver than me lol.

 

[aussieraquel]

I thought I was brave when I did 5k serena! Well done on wanting a goal of 10k thats awesome

 

[Serena A]

Part 2 of today's diary...I've just discovered a new channel on Sky called the Fitness Channel which has lots of different workouts on there. Tonight I did an hour of aerobic exercise and I did a resistance training workout yesterday. I'm pleased as I was getting rather bored with doing the same old exercise dvds over and over so this will help to keep me motivated.

Thought for the day:

"You can't move forward if you only look back."

 

[Porgeous]

Pssst I've delurked to ask what channel??

xx