Unthoughtful people!

[MissSlinky2011]

I'm in complete shock reading that. It's unbelievable that people still think things like that. I was wearing jeans & a hoodie so I haven't had to contend with comments about my clothes but i have to live with the way i reacted & 'provoked' him. I still blame myself for it though and I think I always will. How frickin depressing.

You shouldn't blame yourself hun you didn't provoke him. The scum already knew what he wanted to do that night and it just happened to be you so never blame yourself.

X x x

 

[parfittaroles]

You shouldn't blame yourself hun you didn't provoke him. The scum already knew what he wanted to do that night and it just happened to be you so never blame yourself.

X x x

Thanks Hun. I have tried to change my thoughts on it all but I guess it takes time xx

 

[MissSlinky2011]

Thanks Hun. I have tried to change my thoughts on it all but I guess it takes time xx

It does take time as with everything but you will come out the other side a stronger person x x x

 

[*Emsie*]

Dear Son
If you must be a little S*** please help me understand why instead of me feeling like its all my fault :cry:
Frustrated mum

 

[Angie_b]

Dear Son
If you must be a little S*** please help me understand why instead of me feeling like its all my fault :cry:
Frustrated mum

:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:

 

[interested92]

dear friend's little girl. it's ok. I was amused. I'm sorry your mummy told you off for asking me if I had a baby in my tummy. I found it funny 'cos you're only 5, she obviously didn't lol.

 

[bevhunter1986]

I used to get cross when docs were running late, but a very wise lady once told me-if you were the person in the there with the doc, and you had a lot of things to sort out, you wouldn't want the doc to suddenly turn round and say-that's it-you've had enough time now!!! You just have to be a bit more tolerant to this fact, and remember that at least you'll get to see the doc-even if it is 20 mins late(which in the grand scheme of things isn't that long), also life is too short to get stressed out over things out of your control. Hope you get the problem sorted x

He did a thorough check of me and no infection so all good. 45mins late in the end!

 

[parfittaroles]

Dear OH

Yes. I'm annoyed at you again. I've just checked the bank statements and found money going to g2s. not knowing who they are, I did a search and have discovered you've spent £30 on facebook credits in a month. You are 34 years old, not a teenager. Grow up. If we had plenty of money I wouldn't be so annoyed, but how could you waste money this month when I've been crying about not being able to cover the bills? I knew things would be tough now i've left my job to go to Uni but I expected a little more support. We do have a mortgage to pay you know.

Btw, my period is now three days late. Why aren't you as bothered about this as I am?

 

[Starlight]

I used to get cross when docs were running late, but a very wise lady once told me-if you were the person in the there with the doc, and you had a lot of things to sort out, you wouldn't want the doc to suddenly turn round and say-that's it-you've had enough time now!!! You just have to be a bit more tolerant to this fact, and remember that at least you'll get to see the doc-even if it is 20 mins late(which in the grand scheme of things isn't that long), also life is too short to get stressed out over things out of your control. Hope you get the problem sorted x

Good post

I was that person who held everyone up once. Went for test results once and got hit with something totally unexpected. Was in floods of tears (actually mildly hysterical was closer to the mark). My 10 min appt lasted 50 mins. I felt like apologising to everyone when I left and saw the packed waiting room

 

[MissSlinky2011]

You should all read confessions of a GP its absolutely brilliant!

X x x

 

[LittleFlutterby]

Bless you... nothing is as good as a cuddle, makes the world of difference... Love cuddles off my Kev and my Bro when I am feeling down...xx

There are only a few people I feel comfortable cuddling with. My "auntie six" is one of them. Mind, I was so tired last night I damn near fell asleep!! heehee

I hope you dont mind, but THIS particular bit of your post leapt out at me.

Take whatever he took from you back. RIGHT NOW. I know you have only alluded to what actually happened, understandably, but from my own personal experience, the only way to really recover from such an incident is to recognise that it was out of your control, and to be able to put it behind you, you need to regain that control for yourself.

Acts like that are not about the act itself, they are acts of anger, of control, of feeling the power over the victim. The way to win the fight is to not take it personally, (ridiculous as that might sound, it really isnt a personal attack on you, your character, your looks, your personality, any of those things) - it is quite simply and plainly one human being wrongly exerting control over another and intimidating them.

So dont let him. I know that sounds easy for me to say when you are finding yourself seeing him in person, but you are in a safe place at work, with people around you - he cannot do it again and allowing him the power to scare you is just not giving you the credit for how far you have come in recovering.

If you can get it into your mind, that it happened, it wasnt personal, it is over, you survived it and you REFUSE to allow him to have any more influence over your life - you can really make a difference in how you feel about yourself. Its not always easy, but you just keep reminding yourself of that. Allow him NOTHING of you. It wasnt his to take and he just cannot have it. Its YOURS, and you are having it back.

(((hugs)))

Thank you so much for these words <3 You speak a lot of truth!

I am working on a lot of things still. Right now I'm taking a break from counselling. I honestly don't want to do it, and don't see much point if I've not got my heart in it, you know?

Acceptance can be so hard! I've done it with my alcoholism (4 years sober) and in the process of working with this stuff.

I used to get flashbacks and panic attacks about it all the time, now it's every so often. He's still in my head- but he's getting smaller. He's not dictating my life as much any more. I can go out on my own, I can go to work and I can live my life. I have the odd blips but those will happen every so often. It's what I do when they happen that matters.

I'm probs making no sense, lol. 2 shifts (asda and off licence today) so i am absolutely bushed. time for bed me thinks.

thanks everyone, again, for your kind/supportive/wise words, it means a lot xx

 

[Shirleen]

Dear House Fairy,
I'm at work, I'm ill, please let the house be tidy when I get home. If you could have clean sheets on the bed even better. I don't mind making dinner, as it's only JPs so could you lay out my jammies so I can have a shower as soon as I get in at 4pm? Hubby isn't feeling well either so please don't expect him to do it. Son is 15....nuff said!
Thanks ever so much
Snotty, Croaky Woman of the house xxx

 

[sarah_lou1981]

Dear House Fairy,
I'm at work, I'm ill, please let the house be tidy when I get home. If you could have clean sheets on the bed even better. I don't mind making dinner, as it's only JPs so could you lay out my jammies so I can have a shower as soon as I get in at 4pm? Hubby isn't feeling well either so please don't expect him to do it. Son is 15....nuff said!
Thanks ever so much
Snotty, Croaky Woman of the house xxx

I keep wishing for the same thing but they dont seem to listen. Maybe they dont speak English.......??!!

Sent from my GT-S5830 using MiniMins

 

[WelshJojo]

I keep wishing for the same thing but they dont seem to listen. Maybe they dont speak English.......??!!

Sent from my GT-S5830 using MiniMins

I find they tend to respond better to Swahili or welsh!! Lol x
(just the first 2 languages that popped into my head-nothing else meant by it)

 

[Shirleen]

I find they tend to respond better to Swahili or welsh!! Lol x
(just the first 2 languages that popped into my head-nothing else meant by it)

They don't like sweary words!!
Or threats.....

 

[parfittaroles]

I am working on a lot of things still. Right now I'm taking a break from counselling. I honestly don't want to do it, and don't see much point if I've not got my heart in it, you know?

I tried counselling for months but it didn't seem to help. Lots of people (including my two best friends & oh) have had counselling sessions in the past and said its been amazing for them. I even feel bad about that - as if it works for other people it should work for me too!

4 years sober is brilliant, you must be so proud of yourself. You must be such a strong person so don't forget that! xxx

 

[WelshJojo]

I tried counselling for months but it didn't seem to help. Lots of people (including my two best friends & oh) have had counselling sessions in the past and said its been amazing for them. I even feel bad about that - as if it works for other people it should work for me too!

4 years sober is brilliant, you must be so proud of yourself. You must be such a strong person so don't forget that! xxx

Yep-I know Tanya(Lil Flutterby) and she is awesome!!!! xx

 

[parfittaroles]

Yep-I know Tanya(Lil Flutterby) and she is awesome!!!! xx

Tanya - YOU ROCK !!!

Welshtigger, I think i read in one of your posts you were thinking about going into nursing? I'm in my second year & loving it go for it!

 

[WelshJojo]

Tanya - YOU ROCK !!!

Welshtigger, I think i read in one of your posts you were thinking about going into nursing? I'm in my second year & loving it go for it!

Yep-that's me! Had a few teething problems but finally been accepted onto the access course for September-so that's a huge step in the right direction x

 

[sarah_lou1981]

I find they tend to respond better to Swahili or welsh!! Lol x
(just the first 2 languages that popped into my head-nothing else meant by it)

Hmmm maybe thats where im going wrong. OH is Welsh, maybe he'll have a word!!

Sent from my GT-S5830 using MiniMins